my short marriage is over.......its long! im venting....
it really is... and I am so sad and ANGRY right now.
My husband has a drinking problem. And it is 10x worse because of the town we live in. hes not an am-pm drinker. however, he grew up here, bartended here and has many friends here- many still single and going out. someone is always going out and wanting to have a good time. my husband is still caught up in this party scene. dont get me wrong, I still like to go out and have fun but he takes it to another level- sometimes not coming home until the wee hours of the a.m.
this started happening before we got married but naive me thought that it would get better b/c we had both quit bartending... how wrong was i!
He doesnt think he has a problem-because even the married guys are out and about to all hours of the night- i know b/c i see them when I work! how do their wives put up with it??
the last straw was thurs night- he wanted to go into the city to see his friends bar- fine.. i didnt want to go b/c i was setting up for school all day. he goes- calls me at 2AM and tells me hes staying out for the night! hello!!! you are not single and you are not just dating me....
This happens more than once and awhile and I am miserable. Id rather be divorced after 7 months than have children and deal with this for years before I decide its enough..
i thought about moving out of Long Beach but that wouldnt solve anything- we move- say we get into an argument- hes in a car right back to Long Beach- his comfort zone...
Im just so upset and angry. i cant see a resolution to this. he doesnt think he has a problem. when school starts, things calm down we work and dont do much else during the week. so i have to worry every time summer comes?
he thinks because he doesnt go out much thats its ok. but when he does go out he doesnt come home until late and he is wasted. even if he does come home 'early' (2am to him) hes wasted and he doesnt understand why I get mad at him for it.
his family is like this also. I know to him I am the enemy b/c no other girl challenged his problem. I am the first one to actually care about what happens to him. but he is willing to throw away his marriage for this. And the heartbreaking thing is he will- because he sees me as being the verbal abuser and nag.. hell yeah i yell and scream and call him a drunk because I have had it!!!
anyway, i had to vent. Im sick of talking about it to my friends and family.
i dont know what im actually going to do next. its surreal right now... all i know is that im mentally and physically tired and that should not be after 7 months.
just please send me hugs and prayers. School starts on tues and this is going to be difficult- especially when everyone asks you hows married life.. plus the fact my name was officially changed to my married name for the kids....
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My husband has a drinking problem. And it is 10x worse because of the town we live in. hes not an am-pm drinker. however, he grew up here, bartended here and has many friends here- many still single and going out. someone is always going out and wanting to have a good time. my husband is still caught up in this party scene. dont get me wrong, I still like to go out and have fun but he takes it to another level- sometimes not coming home until the wee hours of the a.m.
this started happening before we got married but naive me thought that it would get better b/c we had both quit bartending... how wrong was i!
He doesnt think he has a problem-because even the married guys are out and about to all hours of the night- i know b/c i see them when I work! how do their wives put up with it??
the last straw was thurs night- he wanted to go into the city to see his friends bar- fine.. i didnt want to go b/c i was setting up for school all day. he goes- calls me at 2AM and tells me hes staying out for the night! hello!!! you are not single and you are not just dating me....
This happens more than once and awhile and I am miserable. Id rather be divorced after 7 months than have children and deal with this for years before I decide its enough..
i thought about moving out of Long Beach but that wouldnt solve anything- we move- say we get into an argument- hes in a car right back to Long Beach- his comfort zone...
Im just so upset and angry. i cant see a resolution to this. he doesnt think he has a problem. when school starts, things calm down we work and dont do much else during the week. so i have to worry every time summer comes?
he thinks because he doesnt go out much thats its ok. but when he does go out he doesnt come home until late and he is wasted. even if he does come home 'early' (2am to him) hes wasted and he doesnt understand why I get mad at him for it.
his family is like this also. I know to him I am the enemy b/c no other girl challenged his problem. I am the first one to actually care about what happens to him. but he is willing to throw away his marriage for this. And the heartbreaking thing is he will- because he sees me as being the verbal abuser and nag.. hell yeah i yell and scream and call him a drunk because I have had it!!!
anyway, i had to vent. Im sick of talking about it to my friends and family.
i dont know what im actually going to do next. its surreal right now... all i know is that im mentally and physically tired and that should not be after 7 months.
just please send me hugs and prayers. School starts on tues and this is going to be difficult- especially when everyone asks you hows married life.. plus the fact my name was officially changed to my married name for the kids....
