(1) insisting that her friends be invited and giving my dad a REALLY hard time about it. Not to mention was extremely nasty to my dad's g-friend, who was planning the entire thing.
(2) Made a big stink over the fact that her family could not attend the date that my shower (april 9 -- i was forced to find out about this) was scheduled for. Granted, it was my father's fault for not clearing the day with her first but he was just way too excited to have one happy wedding event that she would not be involved in, and therefore cause no problems. But instead of telling my dad about the date issue, she complained to FH, saying 'if Ted cannot give me the respect of clearing the date with him then i will not give him the respect of alerting him that my family cannot attend.' To that end, FH tells me that 'this will only come back to kick my father, me and even him in the azz.
I'm so miserable. FH and I are thinking of calling off our big wedding and just going back to the place we met - Wellsely College - and having it there.
I'm so sad. Can anyone cheer me up? I need my LIW girls!
soon2bmrsdunn
Posted:
Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Why can't people understand that this is supposed to be the happiest time of our lives and stop making it so unhappy for us! FM me if you need to talk!
sarahradio5
Posted:
Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
You BETTER get a shower... every girl deserves one! Really... your FH should say something to her. I keep saying, the role of the FH in wedding planning is to keep us happy and NOT upset. Maybe you can just have it with friends!? At LEAST something! They have to STOP using your wedding and your happiness as a pawn in their stupid 'game'. I'm sorry you're going through this! Good luck!
EJSD2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
so sorry you are going thru this. maybe you and FH and should sit down with both sets of parents and remind them that this wedding is about the 2 of you and does not revolve around them and what they want. chin up...
leese
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
i feel bad for you because you should have never heard of all of this....
i hope someone in your life knocks some sense into themselves and throws you a nice party.
R&J0806
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
i think what may happen is a small - very small - get together at my MOH's house. Just the bridesmaids, dad's g-friend and dad since this is no longer a traditional shower. And I won't be able to tell FH about this until after the wedding. He's going to think I'm just spending the day with my dad on the original shower date.
I really, really wanted a 'real' shower, with family, friends other than my bridal party, etc.
This woman is ruining my entire wedding experience, and FH doesn't even think she's done anything wrong.
JanuaryBride06
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Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Last I checked, the 'BRIDAL' shower is for and about the bride. Maybe FH needs to remind FMIL? I hope that you still have a shower - every bride deserves to have one. You don't need your FILs and their friends there. But FH does need to know that what his mother has done (and can continue to do) is wrong.
Crossing my fingers for you that you'll have the shower that you deserve.
PrincessRose
Posted:
Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Tell your FH that every bride on LIW is pissed with him for siding with his Mom on this. You deserve a shower. It's not like you're going to get this opportunity again. I think it's really cruel of everyone to put you through this.
nov06
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Especially since you shouldn't have been involved. It's amazing how something so little and unintentional can get blown out of proportion. Maybe your dad and crazy FMIL can talk and figure something out. You shouldn't be the one caught in the middle and hurt.
Reesa
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Posted by robynlevy
And I won't be able to tell FH about this until after the wedding. He's going to think I'm just spending the day with my dad on the original shower date.
First
Why do you have to lie to your FH?? Can you talk to him about it?
GeorgeGiuliana
Posted:
Member since
Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
I'm sooooo sorry you have to go through this! I agree try to talk to FH and tell him what is going wrong here. Don't let it ruin your day though, I personally know it can be stressful but try talking to him it might help?
Advice-Don't let her your ruin it for you! My aunt went through something similar and just got married at a small chapel in another state w/o telling anyone! She always seemed happy until she saw my wedding dress she had to try it on because now entering her 60's she had never put on a wedding gown and had her mother there w/ her. We have pictures and everything she was soooooo excited in them!
Cousin had similar problem and refused to let my aunt's situation happen to her! She faught with her on everything and definately had to conceede on a lot! Now they are married 11 years and it looks like she wins all the arguements when it comes to her MIL, lol I guess loosing on her wedding details made her life much better in the long run in some twisted way.
nicolehojo
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Im sorry you have to go through this.
Blu-ize
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Do they realize that they are hurting you? Are they all that selfish. They need to suck it up and do the right thing.
Adults acting like children. Are we all 6 years old and stamping our feet and pouting?
Girl, you deserve a shower. Sit your dad down and tell him he's being childish and have your FH do the same to his mother. Take the reins girl and don't back down. Threatening to elope works if they want to play the push your buttons game.
They need to get over themselves.
suven
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Ya know what??? I bet you ANYTHING that your FMIL family CAN attend and she's just doing this to start drama...
Ya know what??? I bet you ANYTHING that your FMIL family CAN attend and she's just doing this to start drama...
I'd keep the plans as they are!
I agree!!! I would keep the shower as planned and if she and her friends choose not to attend than that is on her. Your family is the one throwing and hosting the party so they shouldn't have to suffer because others feel like playing petty games. Your FMIL needs to understand this is you and her son's wedding and should be as accomodating as possible. This should be somthing she is looking forward to and I would think she would want to clear her schedule for this. She has 3 months notice to make the plans she needs in order to attend YOUR (not her and her friends) shower. Did she expect you to clear the wedding date with her as well???
Do you think if you bring this up with FH again after you have cooled off a bit that maybe he will see your point and try to talk to his mother?
for you! I am really sorry that you have to go through this!
cindyandkevin
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Posted by BHW
If FMIL is the one causing the problems, then let your dad plan a shower with your side of the family. If FMIL really wants to be at your shower, then she'll come. If not, she can throw you another shower with her side of the family. If you want a shower, don't let her ruin it for you.
Absolutely agree!!
Katie&Chris2006
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
Oh you poor thing. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
curliegirl
Posted:
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Re: My Shower Was Cancelled!
That is so incredibly unfair and selfish of EVERYONE to get you involved. My brother did the same thing to his DW and thankfully it didn't ruin her shower or the surprise, but put big distance between our family and hers.
Just remember, what comes around goes around....and maybe they will actually get it together and surprise you again, but this time with a shower.
And as another poster said, YOU BETTER GET A SHOWER!!!!!!!!
