My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Willow1 Posted: Dec 03, 2003 08:40 PM

My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

I have a very small family. I have two brothers and one aunt in this country - the rest are in Italy and are not going to be at the wedding. And within the last 2 weeks I found out my 34 year old SIL has colon cancer and my other SIL is pregnant with her first baby and shes due about 1 week after my wedding. So there is a very real possibility that my SIL will be sick and they will not come to the wedding and my other SIL will be delivering her baby in NJ and will be nervous to be so far from home considering my wedding is in Montauk! And we were looking forward to having my SIL's family there too but they probably would stay home with her as well.

My mom suggested postponing the wedding a few months basically so at least one of my brother's and SIL would be able to be there. My FH is in school so the only time we wanted to get married is in the summer. He said maybe we should delay the wedding one year......I have no idea what to do. Has anybody ever had to make a decision like this?

franksbride Posted: Dec 03, 2003 08:44 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Wow...I don't even know what to say...I'm sorry to hear the news about your SIL... .

I would talk to your FH about this and go over all the possibilities before making your decision. These are hard times for you...and I'm sure that everyone who loves you will want to be there for you.

Good Luck in whatever decision you make.

LisaT Posted: Dec 03, 2003 08:44 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

wow, thats tough

how serious is your SIL's condition? My FIL had colon cancer, had an operation and that was that -there was some recovery and side effects from the operation but nothing that would stop him from attending a wedding 7+ months from now.

As for your other SIL, she may have the baby early, or late. But the timing is not the best.

Only you and your FH can make this decision. There may never be a 'right' time.

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 03, 2003 08:49 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

First of all, I'm sorry about your SIL. This is a tough one though. Honestly, IMO, the best thing would be to move the wedding UP rather than postpone it. Life is short. And actually, it would probably work out better for your pregnant SIL. What about just moving it one month closer to June? If FH is done with school by then that also gives SIL more time until her due date.

But, since that may not be possible because of your FH being in school and for other reasons, I, personally, would leave the wedding date as is. It's unfortunate that your SILs may not be able to make it to the wedding, but I don't think you can be expected to put your life on hold for a whole year either just because someone is having a baby. If it works out to be better somehow for you and FH to wait that year and your comfortable with that, then go ahead and postpone. Good luck with this!

yabbobay Posted: Dec 03, 2003 09:26 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

sorry about what is happening...

but believe it or not...families usually enjoy the happy break when there are a lot of sad things happening...

my grandfather died less than 2 weeks before my wedding...and at the wedding everyone sadi, 'Finally a happy reason to get together'

I would have FH talk to his sisters about it and see how they feel

Smolokoff Posted: Dec 04, 2003 12:00 AM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Sorry to hear about your situation. It msut be bittersweet, to be going through all the joys of planning a wedding, and a new baby on the way for your SIL, and have to be worrying about the cancer.

Have you considered talking to the SIL's about their opinion?

Nora101004 Posted: Dec 04, 2003 01:10 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Have you thought about a civil ceremony when everyone can be there- just the family with the SIL's and then go along with the original plans for the big wedding over the summer? Maybe, you could do it upstate for a weekend destination wedding, find a little B&B. I'm sure everyone could use a little break.

AMinNYC Posted: Dec 04, 2003 03:11 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Sorry to hear about your SIL, I hope she will recover speedily.

Have you considered getting married during one of the school holidays in the Spring or Winter? The thought of postponing for a full year seems really long. Call your reception site, see what openings they have and how they can help you. Good Luck.

Willow1 Posted: Dec 05, 2003 01:44 PM

Re: My SIL has cancer...my other SIL is due one week after my wedding - should I postone?

Thank you so much for all of your ideas - this board has been so wonderful for me and I appreciate your thoughts and

My SIL with cancer is having surgery today and I guess we'll know soon whether the cancer has spread. Her mom said we should NOT move the wedding date because of the situation - like you said - we need something to celebrate. And my FH's family was saying the same thing since his grandfather passed away last year.

I think I will make some calls to see if there is any possibility of moving the date up - the hall is probably fine - it's the bands that might be a problem

Again - thank you for your thoughts and prayers.....