My use of the Word GAY

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by marymoon

It's not ever appropriate when it means 'lame, bad, etc'....can i just start using the word 'hispanic' to mean 'lame, bad, terrible'

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i think that is obvious

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Why is one obvious and the other not?

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other?

IMO if someone uses the word gay for which the word was intended there should be no problem with that...the word gay is not an offensive word...

If someone is putting a negative light on the word well that is WRONG AND IGNORANT...

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Oh, Ok. I must have misread your earlier post!

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Posted by lolita4life

although I am not offended by the word 'gay'.. doesnt mean its NOT offensive
just like im not offended by the word' cun t'.. but its still an offensive word

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IMO there is a HUGE difference between the words and you cannot compare the two

GAY should be an offensive word..
Do people use the word negatively YES and then people can be offended but just the word GAY isn't offensive per say

GLAAD uses the word themselves...is that offensive?

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by marymoon

It's not ever appropriate when it means 'lame, bad, etc'....can i just start using the word 'hispanic' to mean 'lame, bad, terrible'

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i think that is obvious

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Why is one obvious and the other not?

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other?

IMO if someone uses the word gay for which the word was intended there should be no problem with that...the word gay is not an offensive word...

If someone is putting a negative light on the word well that is WRONG AND IGNORANT...

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Oh, Ok. I must have misread your earlier post!

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i misread it too!

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Posted by marymoon

Oh, Ok. I must have misread your earlier post!

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maybe i was unclear...sorry

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by lolita4life

although I am not offended by the word 'gay'.. doesnt mean its NOT offensive
just like im not offended by the word' cun t'.. but its still an offensive word

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IMO there is a HUGE difference between the words and you cannot compare the two

GAY should be an offensive word..
Do people use the word negatively YES and then people can be offended but just the word GAY isn't offensive per say

GLAAD uses the word themselves...is that offensive?

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no no no, i think youre misunderstanding me... if someone says 'hi, im gay' or whatever, of course not... i mean when people use it in the detogatory fashion

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Posted by dm24angel

what the heck is going on? Poeple getting snowed in are losing it....If your offended, your offended, oh well...bottom line..GET OVER IT....Takes two seoconds to GET OVER IT....

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it's not about getting over it. I think the world would be a better place if people THOUGHT about what they said. There are a lot of people who walk around saying worse things, like the word F#gg#t' without knowing the hostory or even realizing that what they're saying has such a ahteful connotation, like the word gay in this case, so if I can at least make people THINK about what they're saying, i'll feel I've accomplished something..i've gotten a LOT of people to stop using the word 'f#g', and they didn't say it because thy were hateful people, but because they didn't realize what they were sayuing, i'm trying to do the same thing here, or at least just voice my opposition to something I feel is wrong. Forgtive me for standing up for what I believe in. That's something I hope I never 'get over'

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by lolita4life

although I am not offended by the word 'gay'.. doesnt mean its NOT offensive
just like im not offended by the word' cun t'.. but its still an offensive word

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IMO there is a HUGE difference between the words and you cannot compare the two

GAY should be an offensive word..
Do people use the word negatively YES and then people can be offended but just the word GAY isn't offensive per say

GLAAD uses the word themselves...is that offensive?

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Exactly, saying my best friend is gay' when you mean 'my best friend is homosexual' or 'my best friend is feeling very happy today', totally acceptable.

but when you say 'my best friend is so gay' and you mean 'my best friend is an idiot', then that's ignorant, hateful and offensive, whether you intend it to be or not

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Posted by dm24angel

what the heck is going on? Poeple getting snowed in are losing it....If your offended, your offended, oh well...bottom line..GET OVER IT....Takes two seoconds to GET OVER IT....

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lol my thoughts exactly, I really don't believe how long this post was drawn out.

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by lolita4life

although I am not offended by the word 'gay'.. doesnt mean its NOT offensive
just like im not offended by the word' cun t'.. but its still an offensive word

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IMO there is a HUGE difference between the words and you cannot compare the two

GAY should be an offensive word..
Do people use the word negatively YES and then people can be offended but just the word GAY isn't offensive per say

GLAAD uses the word themselves...is that offensive?

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Exactly, saying my best friend is gay' when you mean 'my best friend is homosexual' or 'my best friend is feeling very happy today', totally acceptable.

but when you say 'my best friend is so gay' and you mean 'my best friend is an idiot', then that's ignorant, hateful and offensive, whether you intend it to be or not

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Exactly! and using the real word for it... i didnt know Portia de Rossi was gay!?

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Posted by lilqtny

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Posted by dm24angel

what the heck is going on? Poeple getting snowed in are losing it....If your offended, your offended, oh well...bottom line..GET OVER IT....Takes two seoconds to GET OVER IT....

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lol my thoughts exactly, I really don't believe how long this post was drawn out.

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were not fighting! we love each other... were getting all of our opinions out. everyone loves a good debate!
then again, we just realized that all three of us were thinking the same way.. we just kept misunderstanding each o ther

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Posted by lolita4life

mary.. i think that people KNOW that when theyre using the word f@g thats it bad, they just dont mean to offend anyone when theyre saying it cuz theyre probably calling their friends it or something... i doubt those people would ever say it to a gay person

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It's a hateful, vile, repugnant word no matter who you say it to, unless you're in the UK and you're asking for a cigarette,


his is what i mean..People don't MEAN to be ahteful, but they are. They are spreading a culture of hate. People have DIED. Two kids beat Matthew Shepard to DEATH because he was a 'fag', more literally, homosexuls were burned as kindling because people could actually bring themselves to equate HUMAN beings with faggots, bundles of sticks. Whether you mean to or not, you're promoting a culture of hate

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Posted by lolita4life

Portia de Rossi was gay!?

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i know i was shocked actually
I saw it on some wendy williams special!!!
she is a rude person

I think the word fag is a lot worse than the word gay, when referring to homosexuals.

Mary, I get your point, ok? Please - don't lecture me anymore. Your insistence on lecturing me on my use of a word when I APOLOGIZED FOR IT TWICE ALREADY is really annoying.

i don't mean to butt in but I have a question...

Sometimes I tell my FI to stop acting so gay...

however, I use the word when he is acting silly, not like an idiot... is that bringing a negative association to the word gay?

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by lolita4life

Portia de Rossi was gay!?

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i know i was shocked actually
I saw it on some wendy williams special!!!
she is a rude person

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oh i didnt see that.. i only saw a few mags with her and Ellen.. is she gay or bi?

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Posted by cluelessbride

I think the word fag is a lot worse than the word gay, when referring to homosexuals.

Mary, I get your point, ok? Please - don't lecture me anymore. Your insistence on lecturing me on my use of a word when I APOLOGIZED FOR IT TWICE ALREADY is really annoying.

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I'm NOT lecturing you. You haven;t even been posting much on this thread. I'm having a DISCUSSION. Thanks though

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Posted by marymoon

If you said you wanted to play a gay game as in a fun game, which as anothe poster said would be completely atiquated, we wouldn;t be having this discussion. I KNOW you didn't mean it to offend everyone, but like you said when you said in 6th grade you didn't know it's roots and you were just saying what your friends said, now you know what it means, so ignorance isn't really an excuse. I'm not saying oh you have to stop using that word immediately, I'm just trying to point out that some words that we've made part of our vocabulary have really hateful roots, and that really is the seed of hatred- words. Equating what someone IS with being lame, bad, stupid, gross. Even if to US it means nothing, there's something to much more subtle going on in our society that has over the years made it perfectly acceptable to alrge groups of people to equate who someone is with something negative. If I posted 'Let's play a really Jewish game' and I mean a really bad or corny game, or 'Let's play a really black/white/hispanic game' you would either be completely shocked or you'd laugh at how absurd it was. Well it's the same thing. i find it shocking that a word descriebing who someone is (no, this particular usage did NOT derive from the original meaning of gay which means happy, so don't even bring that up becayse you KNOW that's not where it came from) can be equated with something negative, and I also find it absurd that people would make that part of their speech and continue to use a characteristic of many many people on this planet as a word for 'lame' I really think everyone should get a thesaurus or something if they can't find a better word.

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Looks like a lecture to me

Just wanted to shed some light on this and how gay people might interpret the use...


'About a year ago I was in Target shopping for hair gel and cat litter, two of that store’s specialties, when I heard a 30-something man next to me in the toiletry aisle turn to his girlfriend and loudly proclaim, “That’s so-o-o gay!” referring to some product on the shelf. Now, it could have been argued that this man wasn’t really a man at all, merely an arrested adolescent who would never know maturity. But the fact is, he was an adult, even if he lacked the capacity to act like one.

It hurt to hear him use that phrase. Even though I wasn’t sure he meant it to be antigay, he might as well have said, “Look at that faggot over there. He’d probably like this stupid thing!” I wanted to turn to him and ask, “Do you realize what you’re saying? I mean, look around you. There are gay people everywhere. We’re all over this store. We live in your neighborhood. One of us may have jump-started your car last week or given you directions when you were lost. Please tell me you don’t mean to imply that that thing on the shelf is ‘gay’ because ‘gay’ is ‘bad.’”

But I didn’t say those things. I quietly winced at the pang in my chest, turned my cart around, and moved on to the pharmaceuticals section as a soft female voice asked for register assistance over the loudspeaker.

I realize it is up to me to let people know that what they are doing hurts to imply that “gay” is bad, or even less than normal, is unacceptable.

It’s who I am. And I am happy about it. My life as a gay man is just as important and fulfilling as any life, and it deserves to be treated as such, even in casual social settings. It takes courage to be the one who changes minds by pointing out why certain behaviors are wrong. This is what the many teachers and educators who are speaking out against bullying and denigrating remarks made toward GLBT youths have—courage. And it takes courage to be the one who hangs his or her feelings out there so that others can understand who they are and hopefully respect them for it.

I plan to join the ranks of those who possess that kind of courage the next time I hear the phrase “That’s so gay.”'

I don't think clueless bride was using it ina negative way, but obviously some people perceive it that way.