My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

AUG21-04 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:42 AM

My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

My father has not been the best by a long shot, but when it comes to a girls wedding it the father that walks the bride down the aisle. I have been going back and forth if I should ask him. When I was younger my brother was killed and I always thought of him doing the honors. Now that he is gone my MOHs husband said that he would be my new big brother. I know that this an honor for whom ever I ask. But which one should it be?

Betty Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

Why not walk alone if you feel that way?

AUG21-04 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:44 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

that was another thought that I had because every important thing I have done in my life I have done it alone

shelzyp Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:44 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I would walk by your self, or maybe meet your FH 1/2 way up the aisle and then walk the rest with him.

KathleenG Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:47 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

If you feel that you have a good bond with your MOH's brother, why not do that! Do whatever makes you feel happy and special, do not worry about tradition! Would your mother be a good option for you? I am sorry to hear about your own brother.

goldilocks Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:47 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

What about both of your parents?
I don't know what your family situation is but I do agree that whomever walks you down, it should mean something to YOU.
Are you close with your dad?
You can walk down by yourself too....

Don't ask your dad b/c you feel you HAVE to. Only have him do it b/c you want that. And it doesn't have to be a man!
Also, who do you think will appreciate the honor the most?

Jordan Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:47 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I like Shelzyp's idea...walk yourself and have your FH meet you 1/2 way then walk up together. It could be so beautiful and symbolic for you - for the both of you.

Best of luck with your decision...

OctBride05 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:50 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

i am in the same situatiion as you. i have never been close with my father and i don't think he deserves to walk me down the aisle, because he's never been there for me and made my life hell. i am thinking about asking my uncle or walking down by myself.

Lunatrek Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:50 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

It's all about what YOU want. My own father passed away when I was 8 years old, and although my mom was remarried when I was in 6th grade, I didn't feel 100% about asking my stepfather to do the honors. I am extremely close with my grandmother (she pretty much raised me... lived with us and took care of my sister and I while my mom worked) so I asked her to walk me down the aisle. It was perfect, she loved it, and I wouldn't have had it any other way!

So if you feel that there is a special person in your life, by all means ask them! It would also be very special if you walked by yourself. Do what your heart tells you to do.

DrmnBlnd Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:52 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I agree- it's definately about what YOU want, and what you feel is right.

Why not have both of your parents walk you?

Mich1108 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:56 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I am having my mom walk me down the aisle b/c my father passed away 10 years ago. But I love the idea of both parents walking the bride down. I knew someone who was in a similar situation to you & she felt too weird not asking her father so she had both parents walk her down. But, you have to do what you are comfortable with. A co-worker told me when she got married (40 years ago), her biggest regret was having her stepfather walk her down the aisle when she hated his guts but she did it to please her mother. She still regretted it so many years later so ulitmately you have to balance doing what makes you happy against doing something just to please someone else and decide what's more important.

AUG21-04 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 11:57 AM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I wouldn't want my mom to do it either, although she isn't as bad as my dad she has issues as well. My grandmother passed away two years ago.

jannshari Posted: Sep 30, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I think it would make a wonderful statement if you walked down by yourself and FH met you halfway. There is so much symbolism in doing that and you don't have to feel like you are being given away so much as you are joining your FH. It can symbolize the compromises you and FH will make in the future by meeting halfway, the idea of two separate people joining to become one unit, etc. Whatever you decide, do it because you want to, not because you feel obligated.

sammi102 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:02 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I really like the idea of walking down yourself and your FH meets you halfway. I think that is so special. Otherwise, having your parents walk you down is also very special too!

Good luck!

ChristineC68 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:29 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I think it's really who do YOU want to walk? Or do you want to walk your self? Don't worry about appearances or feel pressured into asking someone because someone else may think it's the 'right' thing to do.

Since my father passed away 12 years ago, I asked my mother. She was literally stunned yet it was so obvious to me. She thougt I would ask my father's brother (whom I have no respect for) or her brother (who I am close to now, but had no real impact on me or in my life while I was growing up).

Look t your heart, you;ll make the right choice

Xelindrya Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:30 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

Id suggest you do what you are most comfortable with. It's YOUR day, not theres. If you want to honor someone then you should do it because you feel like it's something you want to do and will be happy with, not something you feel obligated to do or is the 'right thing to do'.

Walking yourself down the aisle is not uncommon these days. I think it would be what I would do if my father & brother couldn't. My mother and stepmother are definately not objects of my affections.

So my opinion is do what you feel good with, its your day and your day only. Don't worry about offending anyone, they'll get over it.

JMHO

AUG21-04 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:45 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

My next question to u ladies, is if I walk alone or I am met by my FH, can I still have a father daughter dance

Tammy5-03 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:47 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

You can definitely still dance with your father if you want. Its your day, you make the rules.

ChristineC68 Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:48 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

I think it's nice to have your FH meet you half way - it's symbolic of taking steps towards your future together!

Of course you can do the father daughter dance if you want!

jannshari Posted: Sep 30, 2003 01:49 PM

Re: My walk down the aisle-input PLEASE

You can do whatever you want!! There are no rules that must be followed anymore. Weddings are becoming more and more customized and individualized. I think everyone needs to break from tradition at some point in their wedding in order to take into account the needs, desires, and capabilities of the bride and groom and then, secondarily, their family and friends. Make this wedding your own by doing what will make the day most special to you...and forget about the rules!