My Wedding Invitations

bedda26 Posted: Mar 26, 2003 03:08 PM

My Wedding Invitations

Hi Ladies,

I need your opinion on something. My fiance and I ordered our invitatios, got them in the mail and have stuffed them all I have to do is mail them out. Now my mother called me up at work today because she is upset that the parents names are not in the invitation wording and thinks that they are not being acknowledged. I tried explaining to her that they are because our wording on the invitation starts with 'Giovanna Gambino and Robert Scott Trotta together with their parents....etc, etc.' She thinks because the names are not on means that they are not acknowledged, my mother by the way is very Italian and old fashioned and she is used to seeing all invitations with the parents names on them. My fiance and I wanted to do something different than the traditional Mr. & Mrs. but still acknowledge our parents and thats why we liked the phrase 'together with their parents'. I tried explaining it to her but she doesnt get it. I dont know what else to tell her. She got me upset and stressed out.

Do you ladies think i did anything wrong. Didnt my fiance and I still acknowlege our parents equally?
what do you think?

Giovanna

MarcellaBella Posted: Mar 26, 2003 04:32 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

First off, welcome, second, I don't think you did ANYTHING wrong, at all..

who is paying for the wedding?

I worded our invites with our names, together with with our parents as well.. for a coupleof reasons, 1 fh and I are paying for this ourselves, 2 his folks are divorced and one of them is remarried so how would we word it? .. don't worry about it.. you could always honor your parents in other ways.. such as a poem in your ceremony, or perhaps dedicating the ceremony to them.. things like that..

bedda26 Posted: Mar 26, 2003 06:43 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

Thank you so much for replying.

My fiance and I are paying for the reception ourselves but I don't want to just throw that in their face and say that especially when they are giving us one of the apartments they have vacant (they own a second house) and are paying for the renovation and charging us cheap rent. They are contributing financially in other ways.

But like you one of the reasons we chose to do the wording like that was because my fiances's parents are divorced as well. You are right we can honor them in other ways but we can't redo the invitations. I don't want to, this is the way we wanted it.
Thanks again for your reply. When is your wedding? Mine is July 6, 2003.

koko820 Posted: Mar 28, 2003 12:35 AM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

Have you announced your wedding yet???? maybe a save the date acknowledging your parents...its a tough question...we are paying for most of our weddding but i chose out of respect for our parents to acknowledge them...his are divorced so we are saying ms. so and so and mr& mrs. dad...etc... New wife for dad. I don't know but maybe some save the date would be a good idea...I saw cute refrigerator magnets for save the date reminders. Kelly

Sassy Posted: Mar 28, 2003 08:16 AM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

I did Together with our families. FOr many reasons FH parents divorced, and my Mom is deceased, it was just a lot easier that way.
TOgether with our Parents, is definitely an acknowledgement, she is just being extra sensitive.
As mentioned there will be other ways you can acknowledge them as well.
Whether it be during the ceremony, reception. etc. . .
You could always write a blurb in your program on how much you thank your families and friends, and especially your parents, and name there there.

In the meantime, send out your invitations and enjoy your planning

Betty Posted: Mar 28, 2003 10:32 AM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

I think it is fine the way it is. Our invitations don't have our parents on it at all (and we are both VERY close to our families). We are paying for the wedding (besides a nice 'gift ' from my dad for HM) and we are older and just wanted it to be about us. I asked my parents and his mom how they felt and they didn't care that they weren't on it. If they wanted to be we would have changed it. When you read our invites, people don't even notice.

I think you shouldn't worry. You DID include your family by saying..together with out parents

MarcellaBella Posted: Mar 31, 2003 02:30 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

hehe.. as you can see all the ladies agree that your mom is just being a little extra sensitive.. Don't sweat it babe.. it'll be ok!!

I'm getting married Aug. 9!

Diane Posted: Mar 31, 2003 06:48 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

If YOU are paying for the wedding, I dont see any need for you to have to mention their names.

WeezieNY Posted: Apr 01, 2003 05:26 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

i say whoever is shelling out the cash gets the name on the invite.

shelzyp Posted: Apr 02, 2003 02:21 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

I also put TOgether with parents, for a couple of reasons, my parents are giving us a large gift prior to the wedding, and we are paying the rest, but my FH's parents gave him the diamond for my E-ring, it was his grandmothers, so I felt that they had given us something of value, but I didn't wnt people to look at the invitations and think that my parents are paying for the wedding, I want people to know that this is costing us the money not our parents.

My friend payed for her wedding and since hse put her parents mname alot of guests acted like her parents footed the bill.

NYCMeghan Posted: Apr 03, 2003 11:28 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

technically the parents names are highlighted on the invitation only if they are contributing financially...just a little Emily Post

Your invitations are perfect. Now go send them!!!

Julybaby Posted: Apr 04, 2003 06:12 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

We have 'together with our parents' because my FI and I and all of our parents are contributing to the wedding. Also, my parents are divorced, dad is remarried but mom is not. My mother suggested that we use the phrase 'together with our parents' otherwise all the names listed will take up half the paper!

julybride444 Posted: Apr 10, 2003 05:06 PM

Re: My Wedding Invitations

You're throwing the party. It was nice of you to include the parents at all. Maybe if you just explain that you are overwhelmed with things to do and that you just need your mom to be supportive right now. Plus, you're running out of time and money and to do things over again would be a terrible thing to have to start doing. Perhaps if you phrase it as if her wonderful support of you will be really appreciated she'll want to let it drop.