name change

So my fiance and I were talking last night about how there was a delay in getting our mortgage approved bc something came up that I already own a home. It was my childhood home that my grandma and grandpa own. My grandma and I had the same name just a different middle initial. I was asked to provide proof that I don't own that home. What possible proof could I get, death certificate? I decided to ask, does my grandma have her middle initial on there? She said yes. Long story short the only reason we got a quick fix with this was bc our middle initial was different.
Ok so after we get married I will have the same name as fh little sister. Not only will we both have the same first and last name we will have the same middle initial!!! She is Michelle I'm Mary.
Fh doesn't think we are going to have any problems over the years and I tried to explain to him I've had this problem my whole life trust me bc we have the exact same initials it's going to make things very very difficult!

So finally for my question.....
Fh doesn't really want me to hyphenate. He wants me to take his last name. But what are my options so me and my fsil don't both be RMG? My father suggested hyphenating with fh last name first then my maiden name. so this way I only use both on legal documents and things that could get mixed up when credit is ran ( such as mortgages and credit cards) but when I sign things or any other time I would only sign my name with my new last name. Idk how hyphenation works and if that is true. Or if I have any other options.
TIA!!

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Posted by ChristineNicole

You could also drop your current middle name and make your maiden name your new legal middle name. You don't have to tell people it's your middle name but on legal documents it'll show.

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Thought about that too, doors anyone know if that's difficult to do?

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

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Posted by ChristineNicole

You could also drop your current middle name and make your maiden name your new legal middle name. You don't have to tell people it's your middle name but on legal documents it'll show.

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Thought about that too, doors anyone know if that's difficult to do?

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I think you might have to go to a court house and do it. Or you can call up your village townhall and ask how the process works. I know it can be done I just don't know the process of it and where you have to go to get it done. Are you or your fiancé friends with any lawyers that you can ask if they can point you in the right direction?

Def talk it over with your FH, my husband had the same initial reaction when I told him I was hyphenating. I explained how everything I/we have is in my maiden name and didn't want to worry about not being able to use something cause not everything was changed in my new name yet. I also explained that it was a personal decision and don't expect to be called by my maiden name anymore and do plan on giving our kids (if and when, one day) my married last name. Once we spoke about it, he saw my side and wasn't completely against it. In the end, it's just a name and doesn't define your marriage but a very personal decision on your part.

I will say that we've been together over 5 years prior to getting married, lived together for 4 1/2 years, have 2 cars together, a bank acct together and on each other credit cards so we've already been called by each others last names pretty frequently. (My absolute favorite is when he is called Mr. my maiden name, lol)

It was really simple process in my case, just don't go to Social Security the first few days of the month or you might as well camp out there.

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

I really don't want to do that bc that would be Rose Mary and people would call me that thinking that's my first name. No offense if that's someone name but I never liked that. I'm Rose with a middle name Mary I'm not just Rose Mary that used to drive be nuts when people thought that was my full name.

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I think you could do this without problem. I have written my middle initial on everything since I got my first credit card. It's printed on everything that I own, and all my bills come printed out that way. But no one ever makes the mistake of saying both names instead of just one of them. People generally use the name you introduce yourself as.

As for Rose Mary, I encounter this sometimes at my job. I generally ask people if it's Rose or Rosemary, and they respond. I know everyone doesn't do this, but I'm sensitive to names. But I'm never offended when someone corrects there name. Would it be terrible to simply respond and say, 'Oh, it's actually just Rose.'?

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Posted by kfriytsz

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

I really don't want to do that bc that would be Rose Mary and people would call me that thinking that's my first name. No offense if that's someone name but I never liked that. I'm Rose with a middle name Mary I'm not just Rose Mary that used to drive be nuts when people thought that was my full name.

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I think you could do this without problem. I have written my middle initial on everything since I got my first credit card. It's printed on everything that I own, and all my bills come printed out that way. But no one ever makes the mistake of saying both names instead of just one of them. People generally use the name you introduce yourself as.

As for Rose Mary, I encounter this sometimes at my job. I generally ask people if it's Rose or Rosemary, and they respond. I know everyone doesn't do this, but I'm sensitive to names. But I'm never offended when someone corrects there name. Would it be terrible to simply respond and say, 'Oh, it's actually just Rose.'?

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What about when certain legal docs.ask for middle initial only....my fsil and I will both still Rose M G (same last name)

I used to work in a Real Estate law firm and saw this happen firsthand. Also, my father and cousin have the same name with different middle initial and have been mixed up with things since my cousin was born.

You will run into difficulties with your FSIL with the same name and initials. But, you will have the same problem for Anyone who has your name/initials. It's how things are run. As for credit reports, they are run by social security numbers, so you are ok in that regard. If you are getting a mortgage, they can do a same name affidavit and have you sign it. Your lawyers will help with that. Even with a hyphenated name, they still have to run both versions w/ each of the the hyphenated names. So, it really is up to you and how you want to have your name. You will come across problems no matter what.

Would you be willing to make your maiden name your middle name?

ETA: Oops, I see that was already recommended lol