Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Teamhurldon Posted: May 25, 2007 05:02 PM

Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

So, long story but I called state today who transferred me to nassau county clerks marriage office, because I wanted to know my legal rights on having a friend get ordained online to officiate our wedding.... AND the woman was a major bizotch!! Instead of telling me about the county and state laws, she proceeds to lecture me about not wanting to have a religious ceremony through a 'real' church, is just dispicable and why would i find meaning in my marriage if a 'real' minister doesnt marry us....

I got off the phone and cried...

We aren't religious people, we thought having a close friend would make it more special, and its sounding like its not gonna happen now... I just dont want a stranger marrying us...

Any way for the legal aspect of it... I still didnt get too clear of an answer except its one giant gray area and some weddings in NY state have been overturned from officiants being ordained online....

Sigh

ILOVEBRIAN2008 Posted: May 25, 2007 05:05 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

oh no thats terrible!! i cant believe she said that stuff to u!! I wish i could offer some advise to help get your friend to marry you but i have no idea but good luck! and dont listen to crazy people like here...have your wedding how you want it!

LuvMyAlfonse Posted: May 25, 2007 05:07 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Posted by Teamhurldon

Instead of telling me about the county and state laws, she proceeds to lecture me about not wanting to have a religious ceremony through a 'real' church, is just dispicable and why would i find meaning in my marriage if a 'real' minister doesnt marry us....

Sigh

W T F?!?!?!? How dare she!

Call the clerks office again and again - just harass the shitt out of her. I'm so juvenile. Call her and say - 'Spare me the lecture on religion or I'll have your job and tell me what I need to know.'

Stupid, snidey, snarky people!

Teamhurldon Posted: May 25, 2007 05:11 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

LOL usually I'm more assertive, I think the heat has drained me...

Bridey Bride Posted: May 25, 2007 05:11 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

You shouldn't let some religious freak stop you from doing what you want on your day. Be persistent in getting your answers- no one has the right to make you feel like that!
You'll figure it out-- feel better:)

dream426 Posted: May 25, 2007 05:47 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

She has no right. People need to realize what they believe not everyone else does. It is fine for her to think you should get married in a church but she has no right to tell you that its wrong not to. She needs to keep her opinions to herself.

AmandaLynn04 Posted: May 25, 2007 06:14 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Amanda's FH here (She's going to kill me when she sees I hijacked her account...) but as a state employee, she actually has done something that could get her fired. She can't endorse religion or anything like that, so I'd call her superviser if you can figure out who it was that you spoke to.

Jamnike Posted: May 25, 2007 06:39 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

I agree, its YOUR wedding, not hers, if you wanted to have a dolly parton impersonator marry you while hanging upside down from a helicoper then thats your choice! Someone might not agree, but they have no right to tell you that its not a meaningful marriage if you do not get married in a church. I would call back and speak to someone above her and tell them what she did.

MikeandJess Posted: May 25, 2007 06:40 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Amanda's FH here (She's going to kill me when she sees I hijacked her account...) but as a state employee, she actually has done something that could get her fired. She can't endorse religion or anything like that, so I'd call her superviser if you can figure out who it was that you spoke to.

LOL this is hysterical

Jamnike Posted: May 25, 2007 06:43 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Posted by MikeandJess

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Amanda's FH here (She's going to kill me when she sees I hijacked her account...) but as a state employee, she actually has done something that could get her fired. She can't endorse religion or anything like that, so I'd call her superviser if you can figure out who it was that you spoke to.

LOL this is hysterical

Yep my FH just said the same thing! Call her back lol im mad ID CALL her lol

AmandaLynn04 Posted: May 25, 2007 06:48 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

I'm going to kick FH in the balls, but, he's right.

emcheung Posted: May 25, 2007 06:55 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

definitely try to contact someone in the office who can help. i hate people who turn all religiously freaky on you. My FH and i are asking his brother to become ordained online in order to officiate our wedding. try searching online for ordination. there are plenty of sites that tell you how to do it for a fee. don't dwell on this....there's plenty of ignorant people out there. you can't change them all.

Teamhurldon Posted: May 25, 2007 07:47 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Thanks gals and GUY;), I feel better... She was a dumb as s...

I DID get more info, AND I talked to a lawyer

The ultimate problem is....

Weddings officiated by ordained online ministers have occassionally been retracted in the Sate of New York, because under section 11 states the ordained offiant must be a minister or clergy man of a celestial body, apparently this CAN mean worship in a (physical) structure where he/she worships, and online really isnt a place...
NOW most weddings done like this are fine, but should there ever be a legal battle, death, divorce, settlement yadda the prosecuting side will try to prove the marriage was never legal beacuase of online ordination.... Anyhoo apparently it would be easier in Manhattan, because Manhattan makes the officiant register with the CITY, BUT the state does not follow this practice making it difficult to avoid 'loopholes'.... sorry for the word vomit...

So by the clerks office and the lawyer I was basically in ot so many words to take the risk in my own hands....

I'm absolutely livid that this is even a freakin issue this day in age....

Teamhurldon Posted: May 25, 2007 07:51 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Amanda's FH here (She's going to kill me when she sees I hijacked her account...) but as a state employee, she actually has done something that could get her fired. She can't endorse religion or anything like that, so I'd call her superviser if you can figure out who it was that you spoke to.

I should have got her name, damn it

DGoldfarb0776 Posted: May 25, 2007 08:16 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Amanda's FH here (She's going to kill me when she sees I hijacked her account...) but as a state employee, she actually has done something that could get her fired. She can't endorse religion or anything like that, so I'd call her superviser if you can figure out who it was that you spoke to.

I was thinking that she can't endorse religion or that would get her into trouble.

She would have been safer to just get you the answers you wanted and spared you the lecture.

Munchkn16 Posted: May 25, 2007 10:06 PM

Re: Nassau county marriage clerk office people mean! vent

That's awful!

Don't let this random person make you change your mind or feel bad about your decision. You wedding will be beautiful, b/c it will be meaningful to YOU.