So i posted the other day that we would be putting an application in for an apartment tomorrow night
I am soooooo fulll of anxiety and am thinking I am making a mistake.
my apartment is waterfront so i have to take it if i want it - you kno?
I live in Selden about midway in the island - although a lil closer to north shore- FH comes from East Patchogue - the apartment is borderline bayport/bluepoint - but still in patchogue - all the way on the south shore. I feel like im leaving my family and friends behind - being taken out of my safezone if you will , and even though 20 minutes away - like im now in His territory if it makes any sense. I know im rambling a little. I have never lived home before and I am FREAKED OUT! My homelife is very stressful and dysfunctional - and while half is me is happy that ill thrive out on my own and have a chance to really be me - theres the dysfunction - and I feel like im abandoning my family and leaving them behind. Im so deathly afraid to close that chapter in my life. (ok so yes, I do see a therapist - a great one - and now im starting to cry because this is so hard for me to really talk about, but im not handling it well so what better place to spill my soul than an open forum right? You know I love you girls)
The other issue is that my apartment (720sq.ft) is 1225 - with waterview bumps it to 1275 and our dog chiba brings us to 1310. FH and I bring in 3k a month - before overtime - which he will being weekly now. There is no pool and again im farther away then i wanted to be - im concerned with gas- all my doctors are on the north shore - as well as my job. For 1310 - i can get an apartment closer for 1335 (800 sq ft) with pool and all that stuff and its a lil bigger but no chiba doggie- now i keep bringing up pool bc i grew up with one and i live in the water- and i feel that no pool might drive me nuts and ill wind up driving back to selden daily to swim lol. That to me is important. However Selden has a galley kitchen and we HATE that - so am i weighing them wisely??? Patchogue has a better kitchen
But there is just something about the patchogue one. I cant describe it. But i dont know if im having doubts out of anxiety????
SO my point.....has anyone else had these feelings before? I dont want to come across as a baby - but id be lying to myself if i said i wasnt scared about moving out on my own. FH feels the same, but he doesnt wantto talk about it.
Im not having a nervous breakdown - just a lil weepy is all. Having the Pre moving in jitters - I just kinda feel alone. I thought this was going to be a breeze and id be out and happy and rejoycing And extremely overwhelmed. Anyone else experience this right beofre they moved out or right before they put in an app for an apartment?
snwb08
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by madseason
Thanks everyone! All the apartments we looked at were about 1250 and up - so that extra 50 to me is no big deal...
Im just confused - besides the water front - we LOOOVE the layout of that apartment - we didnt like any other layouts. But this is a lil smaller and has next to no amenities....
SO am i making the right decision? SHould i go somewhere where i am not crazy about the layout and its a lil more expensive and bigger where i cant have my dog - or go for smaller 0- love the layout and can have my cibalee pup all 60lbs of here - ina small complex where its clean no pool, but LOOOOVE the layout for ab0out same price
i say love the layout and can have the dog. if it had a pool i'm sure there would be screaming kids all over it, and that's no fun anyway!
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
I really need to thank everyone - this is like therapy - seriously it is.
I feel so bad about this - but i feel comfortable telling you girls these things, and hearing your encouraging and loving words, really makes me feel like this is going to get easier. As many of you know it hasnt been the best 2 months for me. So all of your kind words or REALITY and relation to my experience is a BIG help!
Thanks. THank you thank you thank you
jeanne08
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Re: Need a little support here....
The rent price is good for LI. Keep in mind that around here people pay $1000 to live in a basement. Housing is rediculous on LI. You're getting a good deal.
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: Need a little support here....
i say if the only thing thats holding you have from the samller one was that it was a little smaller and no pooll.. i think thats the winner in my book!!! it seems like thats the one you really want!!! and like you said you can always go home to your pool (plus give s you a nice excuse to go home a little more often! )
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by jeanne08
The rent price is good for LI. Keep in mind that around here people pay $1000 to live in a basement. Housing is rediculous on LI. You're getting a good deal.
Keep the reality flowing....you are realling giving me what I need to hear jeanne - thank you so much.....a good deal for waterview!
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
i say if the only thing thats holding you have from the samller one was that it was a little smaller and no pooll.. i think thats the winner in my book!!! it seems like thats the one you really want!!! and like you said you can always go home to your pool (plus give s you a nice excuse to go home a little more often! )
Thanks MEG - I like sharing a brain with you!
bella1028
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Re: Need a little support here....
Lindsey, I really do know how you feel...this will all be new to me too and it is definitely scary...because it is so new...I think what you are feeling is normal, at least for me it is...I think in time your feelings will pass ...like all things, it will take getting used to
krisa1129
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Re: Need a little support here....
I think I know where you are moving too....my family actually had a birthday party a the yaht club across the street last weekend...and those apartments are super cute ( I live in Patchogue). I understand what it is like to come from a dysfunctional family, but have a hard time leaving them....but I also think it might be the best thing for you! You see them once a week, and everyone is happy to see you. And, like it was mentioned before, there are such cute beaches around here. I go down to the bay all of the time by myself to lay out, and it is not far from Smithpoint or Westhampton for that matter. Not to mention, you are soo close to the ferry to Watch Hill and Davis Park. Forget the pool....I would be more concerned about living with my dog. Not to mention, Patchogue Pool Club, not far from you, is super cute, and right on the bay. I say go for it!!
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by madseason
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
i say if the only thing thats holding you have from the samller one was that it was a little smaller and no pooll.. i think thats the winner in my book!!! it seems like thats the one you really want!!! and like you said you can always go home to your pool (plus give s you a nice excuse to go home a little more often! )
Thanks MEG - I like sharing a brain with you!
anytime!! this place is my therapy also i would die with out you girls!
Soon2beAlberti
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Re: Need a little support here....
I felt the same way you do. I lived in Valley stream for almost 10 years...when my mom moved to virginia, I took the studio apt right next to my moms old apartment. FH slept over most nights...but it was still something to call my own. Then his friend suggested we go in together to purchase this house. I had such cold feet about the whole thing. Even still I have my moments when I'm like 'i miss my apartment...there was no ******** because if anybody brought ******** to my doorstep i could kick them the hell out, etc' Also I felt like I had finally made friends with people for a decent amount of time and I hated having to move AGAIN (I moved quite a bit when i was younger). I enjoy having this space with my FH and although i still have days where i'd like to run and get my old apt back...its usually just bc we share the house with another couple...so privacy is sometimes an issue.
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by krisa1129
I think I know where you are moving too....my family actually had a birthday party a the yaht club across the street last weekend...and those apartments are super cute ( I live in Patchogue). I understand what it is like to come from a dysfunctional family, but have a hard time leaving them....but I also think it might be the best thing for you! You see them once a week, and everyone is happy to see you. And, like it was mentioned before, there are such cute beaches around here. I go down to the bay all of the time by myself to lay out, and it is not far from Smithpoint or Westhampton for that matter. Not to mention, you are soo close to the ferry to Watch Hill and Davis Park. Forget the pool....I would be more concerned about living with my dog. Not to mention, Patchogue Pool Club, not far from you, is super cute, and right on the bay. I say go for it!!
OMG where is all that stuff??? I never heard about it!
FutureMrsLehmann
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Re: Need a little support here....
20 minutes??!?! cut the cord girl!
no but seriously, don't panic it's emotional growing up, but you'll be fine!
it sounds like a great deal, and i think you'll get used to not having a pool especially if you have one 20 minutes away. maybe the town you're moving to has a town pool you can join anyway?
krisa1129
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Re: Need a little support here....
Well....Davis Park and Watch Hill ferry are right off of Carmen St., across from the train station. Davis is my fav...and it has an awesome 'casino' bar, that is totally fun! You are right by Corey beach, which is on the bay, but it can be a little packed with kids at times, but when I did go I would find a quiet spot away from them, lol. I also go to this little private bellport beach, right behind Bellport CC, off of S. Howells Rd...you have to be a resident, but on the weekdays no one checks, and one day I was the only person there.
I have lived here my whole life, so if you need to know any local spots, I am your girl!
Oh...and Patchogue Pool Club has recently been totally renovated. My friend and her parents go there all of the time. It is also very close to the Davis Park ferry, on the water. It is off of Rider Avenue...I think...can't remember the exact street. You have to pay per day, or buy a membership...I don't think it is that expensive though.
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by krisa1129
Well....Davis Park and Watch Hill ferry are right off of Carmen St., across from the train station. Davis is my fav...and it has an awesome 'casino' bar, that is totally fun! You are right by Corey beach, which is on the bay, but it can be a little packed with kids at times, but when I did go I would find a quiet spot away from them, lol. I also go to this little private bellport beach, right behind Bellport CC, off of S. Howells Rd...you have to be a resident, but on the weekdays no one checks, and one day I was the only person there.
I have lived here my whole life, so if you need to know any local spots, I am your girl!
Oh...and Patchogue Pool Club has recently been totally renovated. My friend and her parents go there all of the time. It is also very close to the Davis Park ferry, on the water. It is off of Rider Avenue...I think...can't remember the exact street. You have to pay per day, or buy a membership...I don't think it is that expensive though.
Thanks so much!!
Im right off of river ave - I dont think thats far....im getting a lil excited! He is on Dunton Ave now - i keep sending him what you say to jog his memory
I really really appreciate this soo much!
krisa1129
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Re: Need a little support here....
That is where I thought you were...and it is soo cute over there! Right before your complex is a bar, Dublin Deck....it is a great bar during the summer. It has gotten soo crowded over the years....and it is right on the water...has live entertainment on the weekend days, and at night a DJ...and you can WALK there!! Also...right on River is the Bluepoint Brewery, and it is awesome there too! (You can tell I like to go out!) Totally be excited...you are right around the corner from Corey Beach...you will have fun!
madseason
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Re: Need a little support here....
Posted by krisa1129
That is where I thought you were...and it is soo cute over there! Right before your complex is a bar, Dublin Deck....it is a great bar during the summer. It has gotten soo crowded over the years....and it is right on the water...has live entertainment on the weekend days, and at night a DJ...and you can WALK there!! Also...right on River is the Bluepoint Brewery, and it is awesome there too! (You can tell I like to go out!) Totally be excited...you are right around the corner from Corey Beach...you will have fun!
