need advice

need advice

my wedding was supposed to be small, however as it turns out the list was not. my FMIL when asked for her list invited many work friends and OT relatives. Her answer was and she was confident so I said okay I am sure they wont come, these people don't go anywhere. I know nothing is in stone but still at least the work people she should have known i think. Anyway my FI says its not a big deal, umm hello we are so over budget my dad agreed to pay for part of the reception which would have helped a lot but now with all these extra people, its going to cost a fortune. Its causing stress between FI and I because I just cant stand the way his mother handles things and this is defiantely one of those things that were mishandled. I know i sould crazy, but I needed to vent TIA

Re: need advice

Hey girl....

Sending you an FM

Re: need advice

Unless your FMIL is paying for her guests, you have every right to have your FH talk to her about cutting them out of the list. You cannot assume that people will or will not come. I am sorry, I know how you feel, my mom's guest list was nuts but since she and Dad paid for their guests, I had to go with it. Hang in there, vent away

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its too late to cute them, invites when out. I know I shouldnt have assumed, I also didnt realize just how many

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Re: need advice

I read that on average 20% of guests invited do not attend. So figure out what your total invite is and minus 20 % from that...and figure out if that is a # you can work with....if not...I would have FH talk to his mother to see if she can pitch in...since it was her that insisted these extra people be invited.

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That's true about the twenty percent, it can be even higher with a lot of OOT's.....I'm sorry that she's stressing you out!

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If these people that she insisted would say no end up coming FH should definitely tell her that she MUST chip in to pay for them. That's only fair.

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That sounds awfully familiar! My FMIL also wanted me to add on a whole list of her friends which she swore wouldn’t come. I put my foot down immediately! I told her that if you send someone an invite, you can’t count them out until you get the “no” on the RSVP. I wasn’t about to take that chance. She offered to pay for them if they came but it would throw everything off. She didn’t understand that I would have to order more CP’s and perhaps change the room at the hall to a bigger one if these people decided to come. That also would have increases the per person rate. It’s a domino effect.

I am sorry you’re going through this, but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Re: need advice