So....everytime FH and I have a little problem with our new house, or something he calls his parents right away. While I appreciate all that his parents do for us, It bothers me that he calls them for every little thing. I want to approach the subject with him and tell him that we are getting married and need to learn how to handle things without always asking his parents for advice or help or if we are doing things the right way. I KNOW, he will get defensive and/or mad when I try to approach this subject with him, but I feel like it really needs to be done. What do you think I should do?
jennarose023
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Re: Need Advice
if it really bothers you, then you should talk to him about it. Maybe say something like you appreciate all of their help and advice, but lets' try and work it out ourselves first before we go to them.
hth
Kimbalina
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That is a tough one. I would really approach it as a situation of.. 'hey lets figure it out on our own, it will be fun to do as a couple.'
kellyannebrennan
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I'd say 'let's see what we can come up with just the two of us, and then call your parents and see what they say'.
lucky1010
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Thats tough, but I would give it some time. If its advice on how to fix something or what to do with this or that in the house I think its ok, but if he is going to them about a problem the two of you are having, I would say something.
FutureMrs.T
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Posted by Karen9508
Thats tough, but I would give it some time. If its advice on how to fix something or what to do with this or that in the house I think its ok, but if he is going to them about a problem the two of you are having, I would say something.
He NEVER goes to them with any personal problems we have, just little things that need to be done around the house and questions with our mortgage, etc.
Espo22
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Posted by FutureMrs.T
So....everytime FH and I have a little problem with our new house, or something he calls his parents right away. While I appreciate all that his parents do for us, It bothers me that he calls them for every little thing. I want to approach the subject with him and tell him that we are getting married and need to learn how to handle things without always asking his parents for advice or help or if we are doing things the right way. I KNOW, he will get defensive and/or mad when I try to approach this subject with him, but I feel like it really needs to be done. What do you think I should do?
YOu need to just tell him what you said now. NOt in an angry way but just say it nicely. Sit him down and say babe, now that we are getting married, i want to be able to do things on our own. Explain to him that you understand he always goes to them but you are different and hope that he can understand that and respect your wishes and to please try your way once in a while.
He should be understanding of that. Sometimes they just dont realize it and dont realize its a problem for you. I am more of a private person when it comes to us having fights or any other personal issues. DH and his family always talk about everything and i had to tell him to please not discuss some things in front of everybody. At first i was afraid bc i didnt want him to think it was anything against his family which it really isn't at all, i just dont like to always discuss my issues in front of a group of ppl when i dont feel like it. I dont do it with my parents either. Once i explained it to him he understood and said he didnt realize it and won't do it anymore. I kept thinking how i am going to tell him also but i had finally said it and didnt go bad at all. So your Fh goes to his parents with other things such as help not personal problems but i still understand what youre going through and think the same thing can be said.
lucky1010
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Posted by FutureMrs.T
Posted by Karen9508
Thats tough, but I would give it some time. If its advice on how to fix something or what to do with this or that in the house I think its ok, but if he is going to them about a problem the two of you are having, I would say something.
He NEVER goes to them with any personal problems we have, just little things that need to be done around the house and questions with our mortgage, etc.
If it bothers you that much bring it up the next time it happens. Im sure he will appreciate your honesty and will take it into consideration. DH calls his dad when he can't figure out how to do something in the house, but not all the time. JMO, I don't care that he calls and ask, just that it gets done...
wundmoretime
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I am sorry, JMO, but I think that is really cute. It is a great learning experience too. with my first marriage, I was very young and I would call ex's mom for recipes and talk to her about everything. she was the go to when the kids came along. I still treasure the talks, more so now that she is gone. It was weird not being able to call her when she passed.
