Need Advice

JuneBride14 Posted: Feb 28, 2010 02:32 PM

Need Advice

Thanks ladies

FFsBride Posted: Feb 28, 2010 02:46 PM

Re: Need Advice

Think about this:
How did you feel before your parents said that?

I think you're just letting your parents get inside your head bc you believe that your mother knows best but the truth is only you know whats best for you.

Thats-What-She-Said Posted: Feb 28, 2010 03:17 PM

Re: Need Advice

Your families opinions are important and should be valued. However, this is the man that you are going to spend the rest of your life with, and NO ONE understands your relationship the way you do.

Maybe there or some things that the two of you have to work on because of your new situation, but at the end of the day it is you and him.

I understand how difficult it must be, but your parents can not dictate your future.

angelscri Posted: Feb 28, 2010 03:18 PM

Re: Need Advice

I think you should focus on how you feel about your relationship with your fh and do what you feel is best for you and not let what your mother said dominate and drive you crazy.

JLWSJC Posted: Feb 28, 2010 03:29 PM

Re: Need Advice

It's really hard to give advice when you don't really you or know the family... do you have any friends that have known you and your family for a long time? They might be able to shed some light on this for you.

Do they tell you why they don't 'see it'?

I guess what I'm trying to say is... sometimes your family works out of genuine concern... maybe they see something about how he treats you that you're missing and it concerns them? O rmaybe they just feel like they're gona lose you and they don't know this guy that well? So they're opinion might be out of concern for you or out of concern for themselves... I think you should talk to your mom, too, and find out where this is coming froma nd let her know it's bothering you without necessarily telling her it's causing you to have doubts.

I do agree that ultimately you have to do you... but if someone close to you is voicing genuine concerns about something that's going to affect you forever, it's definitely worth looking into and exploring, KWIM?

Good luck

Im getting Married Posted: Feb 28, 2010 03:34 PM

Re: Need Advice

I agree with the OP you need to speak to your parents. From what you wrote you are close to them and value their opinion. I know from my own point of view I would need to know what my mom felt (not that she would have the ultimate say) but I would definately need to know. I don't like always wondering. KWIM

justnicethings Posted: Feb 28, 2010 05:22 PM

Re: Need Advice

you've gotten some great advice here, just wanted to lend some support! definitely talk to your parents and really hear the reasons why they're saying what they're saying.

Danielle41209 Posted: Feb 28, 2010 05:38 PM

Re: Need Advice

I don't think I can add anything more that wasn't already said. Just talk with your parents and find out where its coming from. But remember, as long as you love your FH, its all that matters...

Tetelove Posted: Feb 28, 2010 05:49 PM

Re: Need Advice

Posted by FutureReinhart

Your families opinions are important and should be valued. However, this is the man that you are going to spend the rest of your life with, and NO ONE understands your relationship the way you do.

Maybe there or some things that the two of you have to work on because of your new situation, but at the end of the day it is you and him.

I understand how difficult it must be, but your parents can not dictate your future.

I agree with her 100%...your families opinions should be valued but I would go with your heart and how you feel for your FH. And if you KNOW how he feels for you...I wouldn't let anyone's opinions get in the way.

People will always have something to say about your life but it's all about how you and FH feel for one another that should matter.

Hopes this helps..

LoveyDovey Posted: Feb 28, 2010 06:53 PM

Re: Need Advice

i have to agree as well...

families can be difficult and while you need to value their opinion...

you have to remember that you and only you know what your relationship is truly about...

have you spoken about your FH negatively to your family?

sometimes i find that we tend to only complain to our friends and familes about our FH- bc they are who we go to when we need to vent and then we forget to mention all the times they are wonderful.

just a thought...i have found in my own relationship that I limit my venting about FH to only 1 or 2 people and it seems to have improved how people view our relationship

FutureMrsDe Posted: Feb 28, 2010 07:51 PM

Re: Need Advice

did your parents elaborate or give you any reason why they think that? It could be that he isn't himself when he is around him because he doesn't know them that well .

Bride2011 Posted: Feb 28, 2010 08:02 PM

Re: Need Advice

Everyone has definitely given you great advice that I totally agree with. No one knows your relationship as much as you do. Unfortunately, we are more likely to reach out to family and friends when we are having problems with our significant others, and therefore they know more of the bad times than the good. You said that you and your FH had a rocky start, and those bad times may be what your parents continue to equate with your relationship. You guys have been together for a long time, and only you know how you guys feel about another. Don't let anyone including your family, make you think twice, if you weren't having those thoughts before. I do wonder what it is your parents think 'wont work' between the two of you. I would definitley speak to your parents, and let them explain their reasons, but make the bottom line the fact that 'you highly value their opinion , but you love your FH, you want to marry him, and that their words are really hurting your feelings, and you need their support. Hope all works out, I know it will!