Ok so I am thinking of changing my reception and having a small 100 person dinner at a restaurant. FH and I don't live together. We both make a good living but nothing where you can say wow! we both are very young, 24 and have been out of college 2 years and working 2 years. We both have car payments, insurance and student loans to worry about.
We absolutely do not want to rent and are looking at condos and we found a few that we can afford if we buy next year.
Now I absolutely love Flowerfield, it is amazing, however, our reception hall is costing us 15K alone, 15K and we are paying most prob around 10K.
Would you girls consider having a smaller reception at a different location and forgo buying a condo or would you girls take the chance and do both? I just don't want to end up borrowing money and living pay check to pay check or having to pay people back. FH's brother got married and ended up owing back all his reception money to finish paying off money he borrowed and then some, however, the chose to go to mexico instead of paying back their debts and now borrowed money from FH which annoys me but w/e. I just don't want to end up regretting having an elaborate wedding but at the same time I'm torn because I don't want to end up not having the wedding I want and regretting that!!
My concern is I bought my dress but I feel no matter where I got married, I would be wearing that elaborate dress!
what to do!?!?!!??
btw: we aren't getting married until 12/6/14, our date we cannot change and don't want to! we have been waiting long enough!! We want to get married even sooner but know we should wait. i work in a catholic school and cannot get pregnant but my problem is I have a kidney disease that will limit me to one child, maybe a slight chance of two and my doctor would like it if I did this earlier rather than later. Being that I work in a catholic school i absolutely cannot get pregnant before marriage- which is fine I am catholic and stand by that, but is the reason we don't want to wait longer to be married!!
Soon2BeMrsPy
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I completely understand where you are coming from. FH and I do live together and have household bills on top of student loans and car payments plus we are paying for the wedding ourselves. We have set a budget but we may even exceed it. It is hard and frustrating but at the end of the day, you get married once and at our age (26&27) we are just starting our lives and debt comes with the territory unfortunately.
I think you should do what you have always envisioned and you are just starting out your careers, there will be more money to be made and you will make $ off of your wedding which will help alleviate whatever debt you may have accumulated.
I can definitely understand the want to buy a condo and do something smaller within budget which totally makes sense. The benefit of being the bride is you won't be wrong no matter what you choose.
MrsDtoBe
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I would keep what you have booked. You have a lot of time to save for the wedding and you don't need to have all of the extras or top of the line vendors. If you have a dinner for 100 people, you're still going to be paying a decent amount of money, plus it is your wedding day and I remember reading how excited you were when you booked your hall!! If it comes to the point where you know that you definitely can NOT buy a place to live and have a wedding, then where you live should take precedence, but I think you'll be fine. Weigh out all of your options!
I know that we did NOT want to rent at all, nothing wrong with it but we just really were against it. We're likely going to end up renting for a year and buying something the year after the wedding because we don't want to settle for something we don't love.
I hope everything works out for you! Best of luck!!
cj21512
Posted:
Member since
need advice
That's hard. I think you should still go with Flowerfield. This is your one wedding (hopefully, as many people unfortunately say now-a-days) and you should have it be your dream come true. If you have not already booked all of your vendors I'd research very carefully and try to stay on a tight budget with those types of things. Do you have ANY help financially from either of your families? Maybe cut costs on everything else, but odn't sacrific the RH. Also, search around ALOT for condos. There are places you can find at costs that aren't too bad. Also, be aware of your spending over the next almost 2 years until your wedding. Try to save money by not going out to dinner or shopping just to shop ~ things like that. Good luck!
teacher88
Posted:
Member since
need advice
We have help from my parents who paid for my dress the limos (tip only since our friend owns the company), centerpeices, make up and will be giving us some money towards the hall as well. My major concern is coming up with enough cash for a down payment on a condo and all the cash for the hall. It needs to be cash as thats how we saved tax.
we are super careful with vendors. We are using a photographer for 2200 and we just need to find music thus far. I just fear over extending myself and not having enough for both!!! I know we are both getting good tax returns this year since our parents cannot claim us, FH picked up a second job and I'm finishing graduate school in may so i'll be getting a small raise for september and I'm looking into a second job, plus working over the summer this year. I think it can be done but now that we are researching condos, we just are fearing not having money!
Soon2BeMrsPy
Posted:
Member since
need advice
It is stressful and frightening but you can do it! Just remember YOU will make off of your wedding which can help get you into a place afterwards.
brads girl
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I hear where ur coming from.. I was upset the other day because I feel like this wedding is costing us a fortune and we really want to save for a house... But if I were you I would stick with Flowerfield and not go crazy on the extra stuff.. We all deserve to have a beautiful wedding and you can definitely do it without breaking the bank.. You have almost 2 years to save as much as possible.. I'm so glad me and FH chose to have a 2 year engagment.. We are focused on saving money.. Not going out to dinner so much and cutting back on shopping and all that. I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be great!! Good luck
RoandJoe
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Ugh, I feel the same way...I just can't imagine giving up my dream wedding. I get so nervous about all the money going towards the wedding while still trying to save for even just an apartment!! Like everyone else said--have your wedding...just don't go crazy. I'm starting to learn that it isn't about having all of the fancy extras. You don't want to have any regrets about the wedding you wanted to really have. Someone else mentioned if you have dinner for 100 people it still won't be cheap...so just spend the extra money and have your wedding. I like to think everything will work out--so many other people do it every day and so can we!
LadyReeRee
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Weddings are expensive and it can be a struggle at times, but just remember its your one special day! Just set up a budget and find the areas you can take some sacrifices. Also, a lot of people give money as gifts at weddings. This could be used as a huge down payment towards a home!
Teampuppy
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I think u should stick with Flowerfields as well. This is your and fh's special day to become one and with all the hardworking you two are doing and school this is like your time to say we did it and together we did it lets celebrate. Try to budget on extras. Extras are awesome but add up I'm starting to realize that. There was one thing I was going to do and I got the price quote and I'm no longer doing it. Just go with the basics. If you have any family and friends for vendors or know vendors try to see what they may offer as a discount to you. In the end just follow your heart and remember whichever you choose to do as long as u have your FH, family and friends the day will be special.
Simonenarissa
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Everyone is pretty much saying the same thing.. My opinion is if you were the type of person who didn't want the whole wedding thing then this would be an easy decision. However, I had spa client in my chair last week (I do hair) and we were talking about weddings (obviously) and she told me she never had a wedding. They got married in vacation and didn't tell anyone till after. She's someone who thought a wedding was possible but never was dreaming of it, and 30 years later she regrets not having one.
Soon2BeMrsMango
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I think its hard for anyone to tell you what to do. That's something in your heart you need to decide. Personally I think every girl deserves a wedding of some kind, whether simple or elaborate. What it comes down to is being sensible. This is where I struggle. I have this whole dream of this fantastic nautical on the water (pinterest gave me false hopes lol) wedding. Part of me doesn't want to give up my dream wedding but the other part of me says I can change my vision & still have a fabulous wedding. That being said, we know we want to buy a home sooner rather then later, so we are exploring more sensible, budget friendly options, to give us a beautiful wedding without putting our other dreams on hold. (also we are giving up on a cruise with my entire family, which i am devastated over because we just cant see spending that extra money at a time like this) I think you can have your wedding & cut back in areas where others won't notice. Also try & cut back on other spending. My whole mindset has changed, now when I am in the mall, I see a dress I like or shoes & I'm like oh I cant buy that, thats half a meal for someone. haha Take time & think about it. I'm sure you have enough time to make it work.
ETA: My biggest fear is that if you cancel Flowerfield you will regret it the whole time & you will never get your wedding day back.
katielynn
Posted:
Member since
need advice
I think you should keep Flowerfield. You have been SO excited about it... I think you should keep it because I think you'll end up regretting it and you only get married once.
FH and I decided on a 2 year engagement because we're paying for almost everything. My mom is covering the dj and photobooth. Other than that... the rest is ours .
We also want to save for a place of our own since right now we're living (rent free, thank god) in his parents basement. So realistically... we'll have another 2 years (if necessary) to save for a place.
teacher88
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Thanks ladies for all the advice!!!!! I know we will make money from the wedding, our problem is if we use the wedding money to buy a place, we will be homeless the day after our wedding till we find a place! I know we could always stay with my parents for a few weeks but I really don't want to do that!!! We are going to talk to my parents again to see if they can contribute more than they are and FH needs to have a conversation with his parents to see if they are going to contribute anything!
Pray for a huge tax return for me! That will be my saving grace
bridejackson22
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Totally understand how you feel. I actually had a panic/anxiety attack on Friday over how we are paying for a wedding. We want a house after we don't want to get stuck in the renters race again. And even with skimping on stuff I still feel like we are paying a lot and are no where near where we should be savings wise. But like everyone said its a one day that you dream about we deserve it we have been excited about it,even though we do stress too lol. I say keep it if you really feel it might be too much scale back on other things. There are always ways to save.
Kcami
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Totally understand where you are coming from. Are there any teacher incentive mortgage rates/down payment plans you can look into?
teacher88
Posted:
Member since
need advice
Thanks for the advice on teacher incentives- we are going to be looking at them!!!
As for now, we have decided to see how much we are getting for our tax returns, if its 75% of the downpayment we need for the condo we are going to keep Flowerfield!! please pray! everything is taken care of pretty much- we need to pay 12K more on the hall, for the dj and 1800 more for a photographer- i think we can do it, we just really need to crunch numbers!!
we spoke with FH's parents and as usual, they are useless so they aren't contributing, but my parents are still contributing as much as they were before and will be working numbers to try and help more! love them! :)
going with my dad Feb 2nd to get my taxes done so hopefully i have a better idea! :)
