need advice

So I been reading over posts and noticed people not paying for bridesmaid things. I had no clue. I am paying for everything except their shoes. The makeup, hair, and dresses (rented) come in a package I got. I was going to get someone else to do my makeup and my MOH cause I'm not sure I love the girl who comes with my package (she did my first engagement shoot and will do my outdoor one so she has one more chance I feel in pictures it fine cause they edit them but in person im a little worried- check out my album) I was also going to get them Tiffany necklaces as gifts now I feel like I'm already doing a lot and should just get them a smaller gift. Am I being cheap? Should I get the necklaces? As I get closer to my wedding I feel like more and more is being spent in general and don't want to overspend on things.

Tell me what you honestly think.

need advice - Long Island Weddings

If you are paying for your bridesmaids, I wouldn't get them a fancy gift.

need advice - Long Island Weddings

When I have been a bridesmaid I payed for my own stuff but I was also able to go to my own hair person and my own makeup person. Paying for the jewelry and a few extra gifts for my girls is all I am doing. If the Tiffany necklaces aren't important to you then get something cheaper I'm not going over the top.

need advice - Long Island Weddings

If you're paying for their dress, hair, and makeup, I'd say that IS their gift. You usually buy your bridal party gifts to thank them for taking the time (and money) to be a part of your special day. Any time I've ever been a bridesmaid, it's been with the understanding that I would pay for everything. I've actually never been in a wedding where the bride paid for her girls.

Re: need advice

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Posted by Vilardi82

When I have been a bridesmaid I payed for my own stuff but I was also able to go to my own hair person and my own makeup person. Paying for the jewelry and a few extra gifts for my girls is all I am doing. If the Tiffany necklaces aren't important to you then get something cheaper I'm not going over the top.

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This!

Since I have such a large bridal party to begin with, I knew off that bat I couldn't afford to get them gifts and pay for their make up. Instead, I opted to get them DOJ and a few extra things that might come in handy the day of/they can reuse after the wedding. The extra things added were purchased by my mom, otherwise I would've left it with my original gifts.

Since you're already debating your decision, I think you should go for a smaller gift. You've kindly taken care of pretty much most of their expenses for your wedding, so I doubt a small gift would make you seem cheap. I don't think I'd expect someone to pay for everything you're paying for, and still expect a tiffany necklace on top of that. lol So don't worry. ;)

Re: need advice

Thank you ladies for the advice! I feel so much better, I thought i was being cheap cause it was my mom who was like 'since my color is tiffany blue then i should get tiffany necklaces for them' I felt like i was already doing so much and made an effort for none of them to have to spend anything this whole time. I have no clue about this stuff other than what I read on here and in books. I was never in a bridal party before so I didn't even know what's expected of them at all. It's just my brother and I and I'm the first to get married out of the two of us. All I had was a sweet 16. At first I felt like I had to do this because I felt bad putting a financial burden on other people for my day... I was even going to plan the bridal shower. Then people tell me they are suppose to do that. (I guess I'm too nice sometimes lol) But you are right I do feel like I'm doing a lot. And now what I see other people do I feel like maybe a little tote of things they can use the day of and after is good enough.

Msj288 what is a DOJ??

Im not too savvy with the abbreviations lol

Thank you all I have learned so much from this site!

need advice - Long Island Weddings

The Bridesmaids usually pay for their dresses. Let the BM's pay Get them a small gift (box of things they may need or use on the day of your wedding) and invest in your make-up person b/c your pics & video are forever

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Posted by Chels

Thank you ladies for the advice! I feel so much better, I thought i was being cheap cause it was my mom who was like 'since my color is tiffany blue then i should get tiffany necklaces for them' I felt like i was already doing so much and made an effort for none of them to have to spend anything this whole time. I have no clue about this stuff other than what I read on here and in books. I was never in a bridal party before so I didn't even know what's expected of them at all. It's just my brother and I and I'm the first to get married out of the two of us. All I had was a sweet 16. At first I felt like I had to do this because I felt bad putting a financial burden on other people for my day... I was even going to plan the bridal shower. Then people tell me they are suppose to do that. (I guess I'm too nice sometimes lol) But you are right I do feel like I'm doing a lot. And now what I see other people do I feel like maybe a little tote of things they can use the day of and after is good enough.

Msj288 what is a DOJ??

Im not too savvy with the abbreviations lol

Thank you all I have learned so much from this site!

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This site is def helpful! I've learned a thing or two about proper wedding etiquette through some of these ladies :) And DOJ means day of jewelry.
And good call. The best gifts I've gotten from being a part of a wedding party, were gifts that I could use after the wedding too.

Re: need advice

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Posted by modernbride

The Bridesmaids usually pay for their dresses. Let the BM's pay Get them a small gift (box of things they may need or use on the day of your wedding) and invest in your make-up person b/c your pics & video are forever

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You are SOOO right!!!!

Re: need advice

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Posted by msj288

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Posted by Chels

Thank you ladies for the advice! I feel so much better, I thought i was being cheap cause it was my mom who was like 'since my color is tiffany blue then i should get tiffany necklaces for them' I felt like i was already doing so much and made an effort for none of them to have to spend anything this whole time. I have no clue about this stuff other than what I read on here and in books. I was never in a bridal party before so I didn't even know what's expected of them at all. It's just my brother and I and I'm the first to get married out of the two of us. All I had was a sweet 16. At first I felt like I had to do this because I felt bad putting a financial burden on other people for my day... I was even going to plan the bridal shower. Then people tell me they are suppose to do that. (I guess I'm too nice sometimes lol) But you are right I do feel like I'm doing a lot. And now what I see other people do I feel like maybe a little tote of things they can use the day of and after is good enough.

Msj288 what is a DOJ??

Im not too savvy with the abbreviations lol

Thank you all I have learned so much from this site!

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This site is def helpful! I've learned a thing or two about proper wedding etiquette through some of these ladies :) And DOJ means day of jewelry.
And good call. The best gifts I've gotten from being a part of a wedding party, were gifts that I could use after the wedding too.

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OHHH ok thank you lol

Yes I have learned so much etiquette too- and I was even debating on the necklaces also cause they could borrow from the place that gives the dresses. That's what i did for the engagement shoot none of that was my stuff only my ring of course. So im pretty sure they will lend them. I only have 3 BMs all together.

need advice - Long Island Weddings

i think you're giving them so much already i would just get them something small and cute. maybe something personalized off etsy. i've learned through this whole process, you do what works for you!

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Posted by haw4

i think you're giving them so much already i would just get them something small and cute. maybe something personalized off etsy. i've learned through this whole process, you do what works for you!

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SOOOOOOo true and I really keep forgetting this esp since my FH and I are paying for everything except the catering hall which my parents are kind enough to pay for.

I have to keep in mind its our time to shine

need advice - Long Island Weddings

Also all the weddings I have been in the family of the bride has payed for the shower and we just helped with little things. So if they are chipping in for your whole shower so they are at least doing somewhat of their share because I am sure that isn't cheap.

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Posted by Vilardi82

Also all the weddings I have been in the family of the bride has payed for the shower and we just helped with little things. So if they are chipping in for your whole shower so they are at least doing somewhat of their share because I am sure that isn't cheap.

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I dunno its like a backyard thing at my MOH's house the shower...

I wish i could have it at a restaurant but its so much money and when I thought about it Id be paying for my gifts pretty much cause id be paying for it then...

need advice - Long Island Weddings

I agree with the other girls, you're doing so much already you don't need to give a huge gift. I didn't pay for all that stuff and my gift for each came out to $100. I got them DOJ (necklace and earrings) and tumblers for the morning.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112242066/1-tumbler-for-bride-and-bridesmaids?ref=listing-shop-header-2

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Posted by JaimeLin

I agree with the other girls, you're doing so much already you don't need to give a huge gift. I didn't pay for all that stuff and my gift for each came out to $100. I got them DOJ (necklace and earrings) and tumblers for the morning.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112242066/1-tumbler-for-bride-and-bridesmaids?ref=listing-shop-header-2

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I like that idea- Im going to check that out

Thank you! Thank you everyone so much help

Sometimes i feel so clueless...

Re: need advice

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Posted by haw4

i think you're giving them so much already i would just get them something small and cute. maybe something personalized off etsy. i've learned through this whole process, you do what works for you!

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Excellent advice! Its nice to get people's opinions, especially if you're unsure of things, but don't let them be the deciding factor. Take your friends, family or whoever's advice into account, and form a solution that best suits you and FH. :)

Re: need advice

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Posted by Chels

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Posted by Vilardi82

Also all the weddings I have been in the family of the bride has payed for the shower and we just helped with little things. So if they are chipping in for your whole shower so they are at least doing somewhat of their share because I am sure that isn't cheap.

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I dunno its like a backyard thing at my MOH's house the shower...

I wish i could have it at a restaurant but its so much money and when I thought about it Id be paying for my gifts pretty much cause id be paying for it then...

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Ok then I stick with my original opinion....don't do too much of a gift your already doing a ton for everyone lol