One of my friends who is a BM, is a very outrageous stylish person. She dresses in a style all her own.
Well yesterday we ran into someone we havnt seen in years, and tell her im getting married in june, yada yada and that my friend is in the wedding party.
My friend immediately proceeds to say how hard it is going to be for her, but she is going to try to do it. because its hard for her to be in the same dress as everyone else (meanwhile she has been a BM 2 times before)
Now this girl is going through alot, and i dont want to hurt her feelings, she always thinks everyone is out to get her, but im offended that she said this. I dont know what to do, this is the 2nd time that she has made the 'its going to be so hard for me' comment.
I feel like if i talk to her about it, it might get blown out of proportion and she will think im being a drama queen.
But i duno if i can hold it in any longer
Thanks for any advice
Toucan311
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
She cant suck it up and be in the same dress as a few other girls for 10 hours of her life? Sounds like SHE's the drama queen.
Belongs2DanBuckley
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
They all say it...she might have just said it to sound cool. I wouldn't stress...tell her to suck it up and sell it on ebay after she's done
jennandrolo
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
she seems like the drama queen not you. whats so hard about wearing matching dresses with a few other girls for ONE day. especially if shes doing it for you, her friend. it just sounds silly that she would even complain about that, its understandable that she has her own style but she can be without it for one day.
Randilotus
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
I would just ask her if she really wants to be in the party or not?
Butterfly123
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Wow! That has to be the craziest thing said by a BM up to date. Its gonna be hard for her to be in the same dress as other people for someones wedding? Tell her sorry but she's not gonna be the star for one night. lol That would have seriously annoyed me.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
maybe she doesnt like the dress you picked and would feel more comfortable in something she picked out herself or that is her own style.....which is understandable from a bridesmaids point of view - but if that is how she feels she should keep it to herself.....its ONE day! and its YOUR wedding
MikeandJess
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Are you sure that wasn't her idea of an extremely not funny joke?
TheFutureMrsM
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
I am getting really mad, and as each minute passes, i just feel like i need to call her and tell her what i feel.
The dress looked gorgeous on her, and its FREE! We are working a deal with one of the vendors and all my BM's dont have to pay for dresses or alterations.
Its just its killing her that she has to look the same, she even went on to say how she would have to add something to the dress so she can be different. (which i wasnt thrilled about) do i really want someone unhappy around me on our wedding day?
AMGBride2008
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Tell her to look on the bright side... when all is said and done, she can turn the dress into a funky and fabulously stylish creation that she can wear over and over. Let her know that you appreciate her stepping out of her comfort zone for you.. maybe that will shut her up.
Mici n KC
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Posted by Mimacat
She cant suck it up and be in the same dress as a few other girls for 10 hours of her life? Sounds like SHE's the drama queen.
I agree!
TheFutureMrsM
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Posted by MikeandJess
Are you sure that wasn't her idea of an extremely not funny joke?
No i wish, this is how she is...she was being completely serious
Butterfly123
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
I am getting really mad, and as each minute passes, i just feel like i need to call her and tell her what i feel.
The dress looked gorgeous on her, and its FREE! We are working a deal with one of the vendors and all my BM's dont have to pay for dresses or alterations.
Its just its killing her that she has to look the same, she even went on to say how she would have to add something to the dress so she can be different. (which i wasnt thrilled about) do i really want someone unhappy around me on our wedding day?
Sounds like she wants to be the center of attention and she shouldnt be worried about that on your wedding day. You should confront her about it. I would.
jennandrolo
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
I am getting really mad, and as each minute passes, i just feel like i need to call her and tell her what i feel.
The dress looked gorgeous on her, and its FREE! We are working a deal with one of the vendors and all my BM's dont have to pay for dresses or alterations.
Its just its killing her that she has to look the same, she even went on to say how she would have to add something to the dress so she can be different. (which i wasnt thrilled about) do i really want someone unhappy around me on our wedding day?
unless shes the MOH she shouldnt be adding anything to look different.
Belongs2DanBuckley
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
I would talk to her....especially if it bothers you this much....just don't start yelling....discuss with her why you feel that way. Honestly its your wedding...there's no reason for her to be this difficult.
MikeandJess
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Does she understand the job of the BM is to all look exactly alike? It dates back to traditional roman law. She's going to have to suck it up or not be in your wedding party, it's not worth having her ruin your day
Belongs2DanBuckley
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
Posted by MikeandJess
Does she understand the job of the BM is to all look exactly alike? It dates back to traditional roman law. She's going to have to suck it up or not be in your wedding party, it's not worth having her ruin your day
I definately agree...its part of the job...that's the way it goes
Future Mulligan
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
if its bothering you tell her that she hurt your feelings by the things that she is saying....she sounds a little self centered.....is she always like this? dont be upset - it will be ok.
bemyyoko
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
honestly, i'd tell her to suck it up or to step down. she's not supposed to stand out that day, you are. I don't think explaining this to her makes you a drama queen at all.
Wifeynella
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Re: Need Advice about what to do with a BM
this is going to sound wrong, but i feel better knowing im not the only one with BM issues.
so ill tell you what i told my trouble BM (aka my own sister) either deal with it or dont be in it.
your wedding day is the one and only day in your life where it solely about you and your husband. after this its about your kids, etc. so you are more than entitled to one drama-free day. you care enough about her to have them in your wedding party, they should show the same love and compassion and just deal with it.
