Need advice, kind of long...RP from 06 Board

So I have a BM that has been 'less that interested' in being in my wedding. I asked her about a month after we got engaged and she appeared to be happy. We hugged, blah blah blah. But since then, she hasnt mentioned ANYTHING about my wedding. I even write stuff about it in e-mails to her, but she dosent respond to anything I mention about it. A few months ago I invited all of the BM's and my mom, FMIL, and my godmother to the bridal shop to try on the BM's dresses (just to make sure everyone liked it and it looks good on everyone and to have all of the girls meet). Then we were going to make an afternoon of it and go for lunch. So this one particular BM e-mails me and says that she cant make it because she made plans to go out with her parents in the afternoon. Im like, 'oh ok, no problem'. I come to find out that she was sitting home all afternoon while her boyfriend washed her car ...PS---she lives with her boyfriend NEXT DOOR to my Fh!!! So FH told me what was going on.

So...thats just a short story about how she has been acting about the wedding...

So tonight we get together and we go to the mall and then to dinner. When we are walking through the mall to the car she says to me 'Are you sure you want me to be in your wedding??'... Im say 'well, I asked you because you are my friend'..she says 'well, I just feel like the other girls are your 'close' friends and your family'...I am like 'well, I have two of my friends, you, and the rest are family but you dont HAVE to be in the wedding if you dont want to be. Dont feel obligated'..she says 'no, thats okay'....Ummm, HELLO!!! THATS OKAY!!?? So thats the end of the conversation because we walked into a store and got distracted...

So now I need advice. Where do I go from here? I have been tossing around asking her to NOT be in the wedding for a while since she has been 'less that interested' in being in the wedding or knowing about the wedding at all. I have a feeling she is going to be 'the one' that gives my MOH a hard time about the shower and bachelorette party. She is the kind her person that LOVES to do things through e-mail....so I'm considering writing her an e-mail. But what do I say?? HELP!!

I agree that it looks as if she is looking for an out. I would definatly confont her in person, she can't ignore you as she would be able to if you send her an e-mail. Don't let her ruin your day, you shouldn't have to have someone in your wedding party that dosen't want to be there. Also don't let her turn it around on you and act as if it your facult shes no longer in the wedding party, if it's decidded she out. Make sure you point out that you have tried to include her and she is the one not resonding to anyting. Good luck.