Need Advice (long)

pixietina Posted: Aug 24, 2011 09:53 AM

Need Advice (long)

So FH has a best friend that I really don't like because he is annoying and just depressing to be around. He act's like one of those emo I want to kill myself types. Anyways so two years ago he broke my car etiquette and wasn't allowed to ride in my car after that. One night FH and I went out to celebrate his birthday. When the night was over he just walked over to my car expecting a ride without asking. FH had to explain to him that he wasn't allowed in my car (which honestly he should have explained that long before we even hung out). He got super pissed.

Later that night he sent FH a text message saying I wish the two of you never met. I was infuriated when he told me. FH answered back saying that was messed up and how could he say something like that. The guy never answered back.

So in the last two years I think they have hung out only a handful of times since the incident and I have seen him twice. I really am trying my best to be nice to the guy and all I can think of is that text message. FH asked him to be a GM and it really has been eating at me lately. This guy doesn't know that I know what he wrote and I feel like that issue never was resolved.

How am I expected to have this person in my bridal party? I can't believe that he is sincerely happy for us. I want people that I know have loved and supported us the entire time. Not say I wish you guys never met.

I don't know what to do because I keep telling FH how I feel and all he cares about is that this is his childhood friend and basically his only friend he has left.

Am I being a bridezilla about this?

Watermelon5 Posted: Aug 24, 2011 10:06 AM

Re: Need Advice (long)

I def don't think you are being a bridezilla for questioning the presence of someone who doesn't appear to support you as a couple. At the same time, maybe he was just pissed because you wouldn't give him a ride and typed up that text in anger. If that's the case, I say ignore him and let him be the immature one.

If you don't think it was just said in anger and actually stems from his true feelings, then I personally would speak with my FH and tell him that it is concerning that he is interested in remaining friends with someone who obviously has nothing nice to say about me...maybe if FH hears your side he will realize that it is inappropriate and hurtful for his bff to be talking sh*t about you and your relationship.

MrsCtoBe5512 Posted: Aug 24, 2011 10:09 AM

Re: Need Advice (long)

I don't think you're a bridezilla for feeling this way.. i could never imagine having someone who did not approve of our relationship in my bridal party. I honestly think that this is an issue that would have been best to address before the GM was asked, but I understand that you've been trying to keep the peace with FH but I think that you need to talk to FH and make him see how uncomfortable you feel about this - just as he wants you to respect his choice, he needs to respect that you don't want someone with those feelings being a part of the party. I think that FH needs to have a talk with this GM and address the text message and figure out why it was said and if it reflects his feelings or what. if it's truly how he feels I wouldnt want him in the party. maybe it was a joke (not funny), or he had a bad day or he just said it out of anger and still regrets it. but at least you get to clear the air. I'd say you have the right to know how your bridal party feels about you (and your relationship).

ndeokinanan Posted: Aug 24, 2011 10:09 AM

Re: Need Advice (long)

I am looking at this from both sides and it seems that he probably made that comment in haste and while he probably had a few drinks (not that its an excuse or anything).

I understand how you could not want someone like that in your bridal party but you should speak to FH and see what he thinks. Also how does this guy feel about you now?