I know my wedding is over a year away but this just keeps popping into my mind and maybe someone has been in the same situation as me or just has good outside looking in advice.
My dad has not been in my life very much. He skipped my college graduation to go to Mohegan Sun and we didn't talk for over 4 years. Now he has been making a small effort to see me and talk to me again.
He will be invited to the wedding with the women he has been with for 15 years and that's not a problem. The problem is I don;t know what to do about involving him.
I don;t want him to walk me down the aisle, do the father dance, or even be announced with the parents. He hasn't been a parent to me since I was about 12 but I feel like this would be publicly shunning him. Should I just involve him to not make anything an issue?
(The one thing I'm not budging on is him walking me down the aisle. My mom will do that because I'm hers to give away, not his)
KristynLeigh
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Re: Need advice on father situation...
Posted by CrazyLove11
My situation is a bit different since my father has been completely *** since I was born (literally he wasn't there) with the exception of my seeing him 4 times my whole life and speaking to him on the phone an additional 4 times - last time being when I was about 13. Therefore I'm sensitive to the situation....
Def have your mom walk you down the aisle. If you wanted, and only if you wanted, you could have him walk ahead of the bridal party before the ceremony with his escort. Like when the grooms's parents walk out.
As for the entrance into the reception you can have him announced, or just forego announcing all parents altogether.
Do you even feel comfortable dancing with him even to a generic song?? I couldn't ever imagine myself doing that... so b/c I'm biased I would say chat with your FMIL and see if she minds just nixing the whole dance thing given the circumstances... If you HAVE to dance with your father def go generic...
Good luck and try not to lose sleep over it now. In months from now things may be very different and your decisions made very easily.
Thank you and I'm sorry for your situation. I understand what you are saying and like your take on it.
DonnaMarie7
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Re: Need advice on father situation...
First off, I'm sorry you are in this situation
My friend and her hubby went through this in June. He and his mother barely talk and have had a very rough relationship- constant fighting. He invited her to the wedding and planned to have her announced, but no dance. The bride still did her father-daughter dance and then right after the DJ went into a fun dance thing or something to take the focus off.
Those who love you and know you, will know the situation and won't think anything of it. Do what makes you HAPPY. And don't do it just to make him feel comfortable because you might look back and not be happy, ya know?
SoInLove916
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Member since
Re: Need advice on father situation...
Posted by KristynLeigh
Posted by SoInLove916
my heart goes out to you.. I too am in a very similar situation. My dad hasnt been involved in my life since a little girl, and we havent always had the greatest relationship. I am currently trying to figure out what im going to do myself, I was thinking of just inviting him. thats it. my step dad will walk me down the aisle as he has been in my life since im 4. I will do a mother/daughter dance. and thats all.
At first I was going to have him and stepdad walk me down the aisle and do a mother/daughter dance and a father/daugher dance with him but I recently am having a change of heart. he hasnt put in any effort and didnt show to our engagement party. so i feel like why should i put in all the effort.. fh thinks im wrong but its how i feel. ya know..
well good luck!! fm me if you wanna ever talk about it!! let us know what you decide!
He didn't show up to your engagement party? I'm so sorry. The same goes for you. If FH doesn't understand a decision and you want to talk about it, I'm here for you.
Thank you so much! Hopefully I will figure it out soon so I stop stressing! Xoxo
