Ok my FI and I have to go to our best mans wedding in the Dominican Republic in the begining of May. We would never go (5 months before our wedding) except that he is our best man. It is costing us about $2000 to go for the minimum 3 days. Besides the fact that the bride is realy tacky and has asked everyone in the invite to give cash gifts only, I am not happy about spending all this money. Ok 2 questions for you guys. #1 How much $$ do you think we need to give seeing as our wedding is so close and we are paying for it ourselves and #2 I have a simple black sleevless dress that I have worn a couple of times before. Can I wear that and try to make it more tropical with colorful beads and bag. My FI thinks I should wear something 'brighter' but I dont want to spend anymore money. Thanks in advance ladies.
AMGBride2008
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I think the black dress with some colorful jewlery/shoes would be fine!
As far as how much to give, I would say, taking into consideration how much you're spending to travel and that this guy is a really close friend, give them half of what you would've given them if they had their wedding locally... so if you would've given them $300, give them $150. Does that make sense? I'm not sure what protocall is for this one, so that was just a shot in the dark
rkl1130
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Posted by AMGBride2008
I think the black dress with some colorful jewlery/shoes would be fine!
As far as how much to give, I would say, taking into consideration how much you're spending to travel and that this guy is a really close friend, give them half of what you would've given them if they had their wedding locally... so if you would've given them $300, give them $150. Does that make sense? I'm not sure what protocall is for this one, so that was just a shot in the dark
I agree!
With some fun, bright accessories your black dress will be fine.
And sine it's a destination wedding and you are spending all this money to go, giving a cash gift that is less than what you would normally give is appropriate.
Kara and Todd
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People having destination weddings should NOT expect gifts at all! People pay a lot of $$$ just to get there! And they ought to expect that any gifts they do receive will be less than they'd otherwise get!
I would give a maximum of half what you would normally give, unless you can really afford to spend more -- especially considering how rude it was to mention $ on the invite.
I realize he's your best man... If he weren't, the mention of cash on the invite alone is enough to make me want to send a boxed gift.
Kara and Todd
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And, no, don't buy a new dress for it, too. The black one will be JUST FINE!
October Bliss
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Frankly I would talk with the BM and tell him if you spend all this $$$ to go to the DR for their wedding there will be no gift, and he should chose what he wants - your presence or a present.
KSquared
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Since it is a destination wedding, it is more than appropriate to give a gift that is less than what you typically would. Don't feel bad about it, your gift is your presence
cindyandkevin
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Posted by October Bliss
Frankly I would talk with the BM and tell him if you spend all this $$$ to go to the DR for their wedding there will be no gift, and he should chose what he wants - your presence or a present.
ITA. If I was going to a DW I would prob give a small cash gift, but the fact that they came out and directly asked for it would leave me to give them nothing.
sunflower13
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thanks ladies!!!
PeteysBride
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Frankly I would talk with the BM and tell him if you spend all this $$$ to go to the DR for their wedding there will be no gift, and he should chose what he wants - your presence or a present.
I agree. ALSO, you can pose it by saying, 'hey, if you think this is fine, please don't give us a gift either.' Its tacky of them not to give YOU guys a gift if your wedding is not a destination one, but at least you save yourselves money and a friendship.
hayleyandsteve
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i think your black dress will be perfect! i'd wear some gold heels, hair up, and some colorful jewelry to make it more tropical!
maybe something like this bracelet:
and i'd give a small cash gift!
brisbride
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My MOH got married in the Bahamas last summer and she did not expect any gifts from her guests who came, some of us gave her actual gifts but no cash. That is nervy to expect guests to pay for a trip and then a gift.
Black dress with accessories if totally acceptable.
Lemons
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wow that is VERY tacky!!! I would NOT buy any new ANYTHING!!! And I would not give them a fat check either. And if you feel weird about it, explain to the BM that your wedding is coming up also and you had to dish out the $2000 for the trip so money is a little tight...he should understand!
pameladhd
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Wow! I am just shocked that someone would mention money on an invite! I cant believe that!
If I were you I would go to the wedding with my black dress and colorful accessories and give them half of what I normally would have given them (due to all the expenses you incurred during your travels).
thelastresort
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Posted by Kara and Todd
People having destination weddings should NOT expect gifts at all! People pay a lot of $$$ just to get there! And they ought to expect that any gifts they do receive will be less than they'd otherwise get!
I would give a maximum of half what you would normally give, unless you can really afford to spend more -- especially considering how rude it was to mention $ on the invite.
I realize he's your best man... If he weren't, the mention of cash on the invite alone is enough to make me want to send a boxed gift.
I totally agree with this and Octoberbliss. And I think the black dress is totally fine.
