What do I say to a friend who has a boyfriend of several years and is still not engaged and is getting very angry and impatient about it? She feels that people all around her (including FH and I) have been together for a much shorter time, and are planning weddings while she isn't...
She's not being rude or jealous, she's just very frustrated and I don't know what to say. They've been together 4 years now, and her boyfriend actually did mention getting engaged this summer but she just feels like she's fighting so hard for it and it's not coming naturally.
What can I say to really make her feel better. She seems really down and I'm worried for her.
Blu-ize
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Re: Need advice! What do I say to a friend who . . .
7 years before we got engaged. I packed a suitcase and put it in the hall. He questioned me, I told him I couldn't stay. He proposed 2 months later. Some men do need a kick in the butt.
Shorty McBride
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Re: Need advice! What do I say to a friend who . . .
Sometimes, there's ANOTHER reason a guy won't propose, and I know this firsthand.
Just before last Valentine's Day (2004), FH and I were talking about getting engaged. He said that it would be a long time before he saved up enough for what he felt is the 'perfect ring' - I told him that the ring isn't everything, and the topic was dropped.
Several months later, in November, 3 of my friends got engaged to men they had been dating for about a year - Fh and I had been together for 4.5 years at that point. I was a little upset, and shed a couple tears (ALONE, in a bathroom, and he never saw them) because I knew that what we had seemed to be SO MUCH MORE than what my friends had w/ their now FHs, and I was frustrated.
Somehow, on that November day, FH knew that I was upset over the whole thing. He brought up the topic of engagement, and again, said that he couldn't afford a ring at the time. We talked for about an hour, and I FINALLY got him to understand that it's NOT THE RING! I just want to know that he loves me, and that he wants to marry me.
WELL..... he proposed 2 days later, with no ring.
It's almost 5 months later, and there's still no ring, but I have my man, and he's my FH, not just my 'boyfriend', and I'm so happy.
Maybe there's a financial issue that your friend isn't aware of? My FH says all the time that he wants to buy me something that I'll love forever - something that I'll never upgrade, so it's taking a little longer to get the funds together. Maybe her FH is like mine!
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: Need advice! What do I say to a friend who . . .
Here's from a guys point of view....Tell her not to push the issue. Guys don't like to be put in a spot, and pressured. I'm sure her time is going to come. She'll just have to wait it out.
Bri never once pressed the issue about getting engaged. When I felt the time was right, I proposed. She had no clue.
