Ok, about a month ago I posted that one of my BM's was being a real a-hole to me and being very negative about my wedding plans. So I sent her an email letting her know that I completely understand if she wanted to back out of the bridal party (and I only emailed her b/c every time I call she doesnt want to talk to me and makes an excuse that she's really busy and never calls me back). Well, a month later she calls me and leaves me a pretty snotty voicemail that she wants to talk. So I call her back and get her voicemail and leave a message letting her know that I'm ready to talk about the situation. It's now 3 weeks later and still have not heard from her. So my question is this...do I call her again? Or do I wait for her to call me? Honestly, I don't even want to know this girl anymore and I wish the problem would just go away. I would be perfectly happy if she didn't even come to the wedding as a guest. But I sent her an STD (when she was still in the BP) so do you think she's expecting an invite??? Do I just let sleeping dogs lie and say if she doesn't care than neither do I??? So confused...
BKtoLI
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
I would say call, otherwise it will just keep nagging you in the back of your mind.
ETA: spelling
06NovBride
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
If it's going to constantly bug you, then call her. if you can live with not ever talking to her again or not talking to her for a long time, then let it be.
wematched
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
She does realize that she is not in the BP right? If you don't want her at your wedding, you are under no obligation to invite her. If you think there is a possibility that the friendship can be saved, then invite her and leave the ball in her court. Personally, I would probably not invite her.
October Bliss
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
bournebride
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
I agree!
Tina120206
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
Ohhh...that is good. Do that exactly.
werock0709
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.[/QUOTE
Right on!!!
Summer05
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
Thats great!
Naunie
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
This is my opinion: It seems, from what you wrote, that you don't even know why she's acting like this. It seems like you are willing to lose this girl as a friend, without even knowing why. She is/ was a close friend, that's why you asked her to be a BM, right? You need to talk to her, have some concern for her feelings. You said yourself, shes acting like a different person. Something must be up. I think it's so common for people to throw away friendships over wedding party drama. I think you need to communicate with her. Friendships are like marriages, they need work. If you care about this girl, as a friend, you should be concerned about what is wrong with her. Again, this is my opinion. I didn't read your original post, there may be more to it than this. Either way, good luck, be strong!
chrissyandvin
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
WOW!! Loved it!! do exact;y that!!
nygirl77
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
I agree - this is good.
SPITSBRIDE
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by werock0709
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.[/QUOTE
Right on!!!
PERFECT!
69
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
October Bliss has the right idea... and BTW... that was funny...
roxyspark
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Posted by October Bliss
I would call, and if I got the machine AGAIN, I would leave a message along the following lines:
'Hi bridesmaid, it's me bride. I have thought this over, and due to your complete lack of interest, your failure to return phone calls, and your overall poor attitude I am asking you to step down/out of my bridal party. I thought you were honored when I asked, but your actions have since showed me otherwise. I'm sorry to be leaving a message, but after waiting 3 weeks for you to return my last phone call, I decided no discussion was needed, you made my decision for me.'
But that's just me.
Perfect!
EJSD2006
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...UPDATE! I CALLED HER!
Ok so I called and she picked up and said she was really busy and couldn't talk. So I said fine and hung up. Then I sat down and emailed her the following:
'Bridesmaid:
Being that you haven't returned my call after 3 weeks, I take it to mean that you just don't care in which case neither do I. The ball is in your court, you have all of my #'s and if you decide to call then that's your choice. Either way, I'm fine with it.
Bride'
So the biatch emails me back:
sorry that I've been busy. it's not that i don't care i'm just too busy to talk to you about wedding stuff. email me back with your schedule so i can make time to call.
WHAT THE F*** IS THAT SH*T???? What is this a doctors office???? You have to pencil me in??? We used to be really good friends until I quit (we used to work together) and since I got engaged she's just been really weird. And do I really want that in my BP? I have enough drama to worry about.
jax2718
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
almost the same happened to me so I left her numerous messages and no return call so I told her she was no longer a bridesmaid anymore haven't heard from her since then and SHE IS NO LONGER INVITED TO OUR WEDDING. if i were you I would not invite your friend as well!!!!!
mskittynj
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Hunny solve the problem so you don't have to worry about it anymore. XOXOXO Kitty
jellybean1420
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Re: Need advice with EX bridesmaid dilemma...
Give her and call and if she doesnt return your call or pick up screw her. What about writing her an e-mail telling her how you feel? If she doesnt respond to either I wouldnt bother wasting an invite on her.
