Need help!!!!!!

FH and I are now realizing that our wedding budget needs to be cut, drastically. We want to buy a house sometime after the wedding, and don't want to have to put that off b/c we spent too much on our wedding.

Our hall is going to be $13250 (incl tax & grat).

I know there are ways to cut costs, but I don't want to risk quality.

FH suggested changing halls, but our hall already has $5500 from us! He thinks they can rebook our date, but it's a Thursday!

I am SOOOOO upset right now. I am at work and crying! I can't take this! FH says 'I am not telling you you can't have the wedding you want, but don't be upset if afterwards we have to live in my mother's basement b/c we can't afford a house!'

Our living situation after the wedding...that's a WHOLE other ball game....which he never wants to talk about!

Any suggestions?!?! I need to know if I should change my room (at my hall--lowers the minimum), use lower costing vendors, change my hall?!?!?!?


Thanks
-Jill

Look at the long term. Do you need to have the wedding you are planning currently or can you drop some things? First thing to consider
is cutting your guest list down.

How many people are on your invite list?

That's the big thing. Our guest list is 205, but that includes a lot of out of town family, that I am about 90 % sure will not come.

I have no problem cutting down the guest list, but our minimum is 175 for the Dome Room.

FH and I are in love with the Dome Room, and are not that impressed with the other rooms at our hall

Hi Jill,

My FI and I have had this discussion countless times. When we first started planning and booked the date, he wanted a big lavish wedding like all of his cousins had. I wanted a big wedding too, but weddings are much more expensive here than in San Diego where I'm from. So, we chose the Vineyard Caterers because we felt it would be in our budget. Since then, FI has changed his mind saying he'd rather use the money for a house etc. I'm worried about losing a lot of money if they don't rebook, so I talked him out of it. You mentioned the possibility of changing to a less expensive room at your hall. That seems to me like the best idea if you can work it out with them to not lose anything. That way, you'll still have made those payments, and you can lower the cost. It couldn't hurt to call them and ask!

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Posted by MsKitty1274

That's the big thing. Our guest list is 205, but that includes a lot of out of town family, that I am about 90 % sure will not come.

I have no problem cutting down the guest list, but our minimum is 175 for the Dome Room.

FH and I are in love with the Dome Room, and are not that impressed with the other rooms at our hall

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Ok, first thing. Do not count on people not coming. You'd be surprised how many oot can show up.

How's this for saving a load of dough...cut your minimum to 125. Is there a room there that your hall has with that minimum?

$13250 / 175 = $75.12 per person.

If ou can reduce the list to 125, that will save you $3756 and bring you to below $10,000.

I don't think I am ready to change my room yet. I am going to talk to our BM tomorrow (well, I am going to call today to make an appt for tomorrow). I told him last night that I wanted to talk to him, it was not about this tho.

I know I don't HAVE to use the house vendors, but it's to my advantage b/c they eat for free.

I am pinching pennies where I can (have not booked vendors yet), as for favors, I got that covered already (paid for already).

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Posted by CubanBride

Ok, first thing. Do not count on people not coming. You'd be surprised how many oot can show up.

How's this for saving a load of dough...cut your minimum to 125. Is there a room there that your hall has with that minimum?

$13250 / 175 = $75.12 per person.

If ou can reduce the list to 125, that will save you $3756 and bring you to below $10,000.

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I know I should not count them out. As for changing rooms. There are 3 other rooms at JT, Penthouse (same minimum as Dome), Skylight (I am not fond of this room) and Oak Room (FH is not fond of that room). I know we are not in a position to be so fussy.

Relax and breathe. You do have over a year to plan and if you start cutting corners now you'll be surprised at how much was saved in the long run.

There are pletny of vendors out there that do not take advantage of brides and the idea its a wedding I think sometimes us brides get the dirty end of the stick strictly based on the wedding factor.

Ask around, see who knows who. I saved almost half on my flowers because I graduated with my florist's son. I saved about $100 on my invitations, napkins, bookmarks etc because my unlce works in the printing business.

There are ways to do it, just relax! Dont stress!

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Posted by MsKitty1274

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Posted by CubanBride

Ok, first thing. Do not count on people not coming. You'd be surprised how many oot can show up.

How's this for saving a load of dough...cut your minimum to 125. Is there a room there that your hall has with that minimum?

$13250 / 175 = $75.12 per person.

If ou can reduce the list to 125, that will save you $3756 and bring you to below $10,000.

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I know I should not count them out. As for changing rooms. There are 3 other rooms at JT, Penthouse (same minimum as Dome), Skylight (I am not fond of this room) and Oak Room (FH is not fond of that room). I know we are not in a position to be so fussy.

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If you really want that house, then you'll make concessions. I say go talk to your BM in person. Take a look at the rooms and think of the possibilities. That $3500 can go toward your house down payment.

Moving on...what about your dress? Have you ordered it yet? If not, maybe looking at a less expensive version would help. Also, have you booked a florist yet?

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Posted by jesslangen

Relax and breathe. You do have over a year to plan and if you start cutting corners now you'll be surprised at how much was saved in the long run.

There are pletny of vendors out there that do not take advantage of brides and the idea its a wedding I think sometimes us brides get the dirty end of the stick strictly based on the wedding factor.

Ask around, see who knows who. I saved almost half on my flowers because I graduated with my florist's son. I saved about $100 on my invitations, napkins, bookmarks etc because my unlce works in the printing business.

There are ways to do it, just relax! Dont stress!

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I don't know anyone in the 'business', at least not that I know of. FH's brother was married last May, she DOES NOT recommend her florist, but does recommend her DJ.

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Posted by MsKitty1274

I know I don't HAVE to use the house vendors, but it's to my advantage b/c they eat for free.

I am pinching pennies where I can (have not booked vendors yet), as for favors, I got that covered already (paid for already).

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Just keep in mind that difference in price between a house vendor and another vendor you like that is cheaper could more than make up for the price of a free dinner. There are lots of reasonably priced, great quality vendors out there!

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Posted by smilealways

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Posted by MsKitty1274

I know I don't HAVE to use the house vendors, but it's to my advantage b/c they eat for free.

I am pinching pennies where I can (have not booked vendors yet), as for favors, I got that covered already (paid for already).

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Just keep in mind that difference in price between a house vendor and another vendor you like that is cheaper could more than make up for the price of a free dinner. There are lots of reasonably priced, great quality vendors out there!

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Agreed. We didn't use any of Leonord's house vendors because they were too pricey.

Have not booked any vendors yet.

Did not get dress yet.

I am a barging hunter supreme!

I refuse to spend more than $1000 on a dress. FH's SIL got hers in NJ for $400 including alterations and gloves!!

OK BREATHE! Relax!

You will be OK!

Yes, speak to Mike and see what he says. I cut my guest list in half using the following equation: if I haven't spoken to you in over a year and will not be speaking to you or seeing you if it wasn't for my wedding, you are not invited. Simple. This left immediate family and close friends only. You may not be able to cut so drastically, but really look at every person in your guest list. The people I invited were invited because I cannot imagine having my day without them - this is a great general rule.

As far as the rooms...see if Mike will lower your minimum to 150 or even 165...I agree, the Dome Room is gorgeous. But you are getting a great deal! We are only having 100 pp and are paying close to $10K for CH alone - so you're way ahead of me for double the guests...and we have the 'basic' wedding menu and we booked a Friday!

You have a year and some change...do some math. See what you want. Maybe you can move in to a tiny apartment - it doesn't matter where - as long as its yours and allows you to save for a house. Also remember that your family will probably give you monetary gifts...so while most people don't make back their money, you can expect to get a nice amount. Save that and add it up to whatever you have saved - slowly but surely you will get there.

It will ALL work out. As far as the vendors, I found their house vendors to be TOO expensive and honestly, I rather pay half price meals (remember, it's half price for others) for a vendor I love and am getting a deal on, than get a free meal for a vendor that's too expensive to begin with.

For great vendors for us brides on a budget, check out Nadine's website...Budget Vendors

I don't think you're being unreasonable on wanting what you want, it seems that you have thought about way to cut costs (booking a Thursday) and not going broke. Just breathe - it'll all work out...and remember, we're here for you!

EFS and TA: If you let your vendors know that you are on a budget, they will work with you...the great ones will anyway. It can't hurt to ask. YOU CAN DO IT! And see if you can do the following: $500 saved monthly (between you and fi, $250 each) = $7500 in 15 months...not bad. Yes you'll have to sacrifice going out, eating at restaurants, etc. but the end result WILL be worth it...and you'll probably save enough to have the wedding and the house. The more you save, the more at ease you'll feel. These things have a way of working out. Trust God and breathe!

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Posted by MsKitty1274

Have not booked any vendors yet.

Did not get dress yet.

I am a barging hunter supreme!

I refuse to spend more than $1000 on a dress. FH's SIL got hers in NJ for $400 including alterations and gloves!!

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Good.

Also, if you don't care about a church wedding, you can alwaysd get married at your hall. That will same you money for the limos. The p/u and dropp off service we got cost us $444 for 3 limos. That is something to consider. But if you really want to get married at your church, then forget it.

Do not stress....easier said than done. You have plenty of time to budget wisely and save money.

Besides the hall, you can budget on other items such as:
Invites: you can find elegant invites for under $400 total
Favors: do a minimal donation and then one day when you have more money, make a contribution
Flowers: set a budget and have the florist work within your set budget.

I hope this helps a bit

You probably aren't going to get cheaper than a thur night. I would keep the reception but look at other options:

Gown: Use a discounter like Netbride/RK Bridal or any of the others out there

Centerpieces: Instead of flowers, come up with something creative. I honestly can't believe the price some are spening on centerpieces. Make your own. You have plenty of time..utilize sales @ michaels/ac moore.

Favors: again..you can make them yourself

DJ/Photo/Video: There is a company called 'The Pros' I used them a while back. They offer all 3 services, and if you book 2+ you get money off. Overall their prices are REALLY reasonable, and they are great to work with.

Those are just some ways I am thinking about saving money. Hope this helps!!


PS I feel for the living situation...same over here!!!!!

Well.... you probably don't want to hear this suggestion.... but......

You could change your wedding date - not the day of the week, but push the date back so you have more time to save and pay for things. Thats just a suggestion... there are lots of other ways to save too, but if you are adament to keep everything you already have and don't want to go cheaper on anything, to give yourself more time to save might be a good idea. If you change it to say, november of 06, that gives you 4 more months to save AND you might even be able to get a cheaper pp rate!