Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

me&james Posted: May 24, 2005 01:33 AM

Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Hi ladies! Need a bit of help - what a bad bad weekend. My FH best friend was also engaged and was to be married one month after us. His fiance was to be a BM in my bridal party. We are totally best friends with them and do everything together. They called off the wedding (3 months away) yesterday. My heart is broken! And I don't understand b/c her FH is one of the best guys I know! Anyway, no surprises here, I know my shower is Sunday. She's no longer a BM. My best friend is doing her PHD, is not sure if she can make it to my wedding for sure due to the nature of her research work (tagging balugas in the Arctic when ice breaks) which happens during, of course, my wedding. So she's on the fence still, depending on the helicopter schedules. Anyway, I let her know that if she can come, she'll be a BM. But if she doesn't come, I'll be short a BM. I know of at least 3 girls that would love to do it - I know they were hurt b/c I didn't ask from the beginning. (But I already had 7!!!) Should I ask someone else? Should I ask before the shower? I would rather be over one than short one? Well, actually, I don't care either way - what do you think? I guess I think it's probably best just to fill it and make someone happy, then leave it and do nothing...what do you think? Please help!

LO13LO13 Posted: May 24, 2005 02:13 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

personally if i was your friend and you asked me last minute b/c someone dropped out i would be insulted, i think you should just leave it alone, JMO

romameansamor Posted: May 24, 2005 06:43 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

IMO - No, don't. We have an odd number of bm (5) w/ 6 gms.

It would also be kind of rude to the girl who you are replacing - even though they broke up, you said you are all friends.

Good luck!

N.Y.bride Posted: May 24, 2005 06:50 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I would leave it and do nothing

Im also have an odd # in the bridal party :)

pinkstar025 Posted: May 24, 2005 06:53 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

JUST BE A GIRL AHEAD

glinda_goodwitch Posted: May 24, 2005 08:05 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Posted by N.Y.bride

I would leave it and do nothing

Im also have an odd # in the bridal party :)

We're also having an odd number of guys and girls. You can just have one girl walk down the aisle escorted by two guys. I wouldn't risk hurting one of your friends by asking them last minute to be a BM.

usuk2004 Posted: May 24, 2005 08:10 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

Posted by N.Y.bride

I would leave it and do nothing

Im also have an odd # in the bridal party :)

We're also having an odd number of guys and girls. You can just have one girl walk down the aisle escorted by two guys. I wouldn't risk hurting one of your friends by asking them last minute to be a BM.

I agree

LilyOfValley Posted: May 24, 2005 08:15 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I would leave it as is.

junebride! Posted: May 25, 2005 01:56 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

leave it as it is...we have 2 best men...a replacemnt would have hurt feelings i think

skittles Posted: May 25, 2005 06:26 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Leave it as is. It would be very rude to ask a friend last minute. Besides, your BM might make it and being in the wedding with her ex-fiance might make some sparks between them and rekindle. Think of how your friend feels right now, instead of having an even number in your bridal party.

BriBri529 Posted: May 25, 2005 07:22 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I wouldn't replace her

Mrs_B Posted: May 25, 2005 07:32 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

First of all, sorry to hear you are going through this. I would personally keep it how you have it... short one BM. UNLESS you want one of mine Id be more than happy to give her to you!

jeanla4c Posted: May 25, 2005 08:25 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I agree, just leave it as it is. So sorry to hear about this.

LFitzy79 Posted: May 25, 2005 08:27 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I would leave it as it is, too. There is an uneven number in our bridal party too....7 girls, 5 guys....no biggie

SUNSHINE24 Posted: May 25, 2005 08:45 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I would be insulted too. I would just keep it one under. I dont have an even amount of GM and BM- 8 men and 6 women.

steflily Posted: May 25, 2005 09:13 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I agree with the rest of the firls. Don't replace her. You never know what might happen in the coming weeks.

bridetobe Posted: May 25, 2005 09:15 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I would be isnulted if you asked me to be a replacement too. There are no rules that say you have to replace a BM. I say leave it alone.

tann22 Posted: May 25, 2005 09:45 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

I agree with the rest of the girls...leave it the way it
is. We have an uneven bridal party too. 5 GM and 4 BM.
Good luck.

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: May 25, 2005 09:47 AM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Posted by steflily

I agree with the rest of the firls. Don't replace her. You never know what might happen in the coming weeks.

I was about to say the same thing. What happens if they reconcile, and get back together? Then your really messed up.

stacy&joe Posted: May 25, 2005 01:38 PM

Re: Need help! BM and her FH just broke up - do I replace her???

Posted by LO13LO13

personally if i was your friend and you asked me last minute b/c someone dropped out i would be insulted, i think you should just leave it alone, JMO

I agree. Lots of brides and grooms do uneven parties now, I did, and it was fine. It really didn't matter.