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I just got off the phone with my FH. He said that his brother just called his parents and were upset that his wife was not in my bridal party. There were alot of things going on with his family when we first got engaged last July and we didn't talk about the wedding until Christmas. I included in my bridal party a friend, my sister and his 2 sisters. I like his sister-in-law but she lives in NJ and rarely comes up and just didn't think she would want to b/c of the distance and family issues going on. Now I feel horrible and don't know what to do. I would love for her to be in my wedding party. Have I made a huge mistake? Help

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I dont think u made a big mistake... if you want her to be in it that is one thing but as long as his bro is that is all that matters, it is YOUR wedding, if his parents or anyone is upset have them pay for her bridal attendant gift, her dress, etc..... I am being a little sarcastic but there is Only so much U can do, who needs added stress, does she want to be in it?? Is she going to pay for her dress, shoes, etc.?? and come in for all the fittings?

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I don't think that you made a huge mistake. You asked who you wanted to. If you really feel that bad about it (WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T) See if your FH has someone else he can ask & then problem solved. If you don't have enough time see if she could do a reading (if you're having a full ceremony) No matter what you decide someone will get upset. (It's ridiculous) The fact is that it's YOUR DAY!! Key words you should remember!! I don't think you really have to explain your chose to anyone! Just let it go or if you want have your FH talk to his brother & 'clear' up the matter. This is a stressful time for you do not add to it!! I wish you luck!! =)

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I don't think you made a mistake at all, its your wedding, after all. Maybe you could ask her to something else at the wedding -- a reading or hand out programs or something.

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I think that unless you truly want this girl that you did the right thing. You are having his two sisters. Like the rest of the girls said, it is your time, your day. If it was you FH's sister, then it would be different, but you already included them. You cant make everyone happy, only you. Good luck!!

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I wouldn't worry in the least... I am having FHs brother and the brothers 3 children, but not his wife...

I have a different opinion ...

I know it is your wedding day and no one should tell you who should be in the party but you said that you really liked her and the only reason you didn't ask her at first was because of distance. It sounds like she likes you as well and since you genuinely like her, why not have a talk with her and ask her? Just tell her that you did not ask her before because you did not want to inconvenience her as it is a good distance away but since you now know that is not an issue for her that you would like for her to be in it. FYI - I am having two people from out of country in my BP. THey will give us their measurements and once they are here all they have to worry about will be the hem line. It's really easy. She wouldn't even have to come down here for most of the fittings. You can ship her dress to her and she can have everything fitted EXCEPT the hem line. THat she can come down one time to get it fitted here so that it matches the rest of the BP.

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You did say that you 'would love to have her in your party' - so, my opinion is that you should just go ahead and ask her! I'd just tell her that you weren't sure she'd want to deal with everything from a long distance so you were hesitant to ask her, and that you are flattered to have her in your party. She should be aware of what she will need to do as far as the dress is concerned -- but I think it is nice that she wants to be in the party - If you are close with her, and she is 'family', this is an important memory for her to be a part of. If it throws off the balance of your weddign party, lots of people of unbalanced parties (i did!!) there are lots of ways to deal with it. Hope this helps!

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Thank you for the advice. My FH spoke with his brother last night and explained everything including that we would both be very happy if she would be part of our wedding. They said they would have to sleep on it and get back to us. So,now we are waiting for them to call us back. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks again.