Need Help - Program Thank You's; What did/are you doing?

What do you think of the thank you's I'd like to put in our program? I really want to specifically thank my parents for the wedding they gave us, but I want to do it tactfully and not cause any issues with him or his family. (I can't even believe it WOULD, but...). What do you think:

Thank You…

We would like to thank our family and friends for joining us on this special day as we celebrate our marital union. This day is only complete because we’re surrounded by those we love!

To our amazing Bridal Party… thank you so much for being there for us in our lives and helping us as we prepared for our wedding day! Now, let’s party!!

Thank you to our parents for your unconditional love and support throughout the years. We are who we are because of you. We love you!

A special thank you to Mom and Dad RXXXé for this amazing day. This is truly a dream wedding and a gift for which we can’t thank you enough!


What do you think?

I understand wanting to thank your parents, but I do think it might offend his parents a little....

My parents are giving us our wedding too... so I completely understand how much you appreciate it and want to thank them, I just think that his parents might feel bad... they might feel like they don't do enough for you...

I think a private card to thank them might help you not to step on anyone's toes.

JMO!

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Posted by hayleyandsteve

I understand wanting to thank your parents, but I do think it might offend his parents a little....

My parents are giving us our wedding too... so I completely understand how much you appreciate it and want to thank them, I just think that his parents might feel bad... they might feel like they don't do enough for you...

I think a private card to thank them might help you not to step on anyone's toes.

JMO!

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I just don't understand why thanking my parents would be a 'diss' to his? It's so aggragating. In all honesty... I feel they DON'T do enough for me? And my parents give us the solar system! And in my heart I DO want it acknowledged in the program that we appreciate the wedding. (I'm not yelling at you... I'm just bitter, especially after the crap from this weekend when I got lectured from his whole family that we didn't invite everyone with a guest). I'm really just trying to find the BEST way to WORD something to include in the program as a thank you for the wedding, because I REALLY want to do that.

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Posted by sarahradio5

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Posted by hayleyandsteve

I understand wanting to thank your parents, but I do think it might offend his parents a little....

My parents are giving us our wedding too... so I completely understand how much you appreciate it and want to thank them, I just think that his parents might feel bad... they might feel like they don't do enough for you...

I think a private card to thank them might help you not to step on anyone's toes.

JMO!

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I just don't understand why thanking my parents would be a 'diss' to his? It's so aggragating. In all honesty... I feel they DON'T do enough for me? And my parents give us the solar system! And in my heart I DO want it acknowledged in the program that we appreciate the wedding. (I'm not yelling at you... I'm just bitter, especially after the crap from this weekend when I got lectured from his whole family that we didn't invite everyone with a guest). I'm really just trying to find the BEST way to WORD something to include in the program as a thank you for the wedding, because I REALLY want to do that.

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Sarah, I have to agree with her. I know you hate it when people don't agree 100% with you, but when I wanted to exclude ALL parents' names from our invites, DH's parents [who were footing most of the bill] were HURT by that. I wasn't giving anyone more 'attention' I was just trying to avoid the more arduous task of my mother being twice divorced and the whole who's name should go first...that and it would take up less space. In the end, to keep from hurt feelings, we included everyone's names. I think a nice additonal card with their 'gift' will more than suffice.

ETA-here's something you CAN do that is a bit on the snotty side, but might give you the best of BOTH worlds....at the RD, when the 2 of you speak, in front of everyone, thank you FMIL for the dinner and then, PUBLICLY, thank your parents for the wonderful wedding about to take place the following day! i've seen it done...it's actually less catty than i tried to make it out to be...but it will satisfy your need to publicly thank them!

I seriously understand... because I'm basically in the same position (just a bit further away from the wedding!) My parents do everything for us, and his... well, not so much.

I just think that thanking your parents separately and not his might hurt their feelings a little!

What if you add a separate thank you to his parents as well, just a simple line thanking them for their support and love throughout the years?

Sorry if this doesn't help!

i think your wording is good.

i would just ask you to think about the thank you for your parents. if you're including it because you heart is just ready to burst from happiness for what they've done... then do it

BUT....
if you're doing it because of this weekend (even if it's just a little), then i'd ask you to reconsider.

let your heart be your guide, not your hurt feelings

mind you: i agree whole-hearted about the whole mil thing.

i hope i didn't confuse you more.

fm me if i didn't make myself clear.

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Posted by libby2595

i think your wording is good.

i would just ask you to think about the thank you for your parents. if you're including it because you heart is just ready to burst from happiness for what they've done... then do it

BUT....
if you're doing it because of this weekend (even if it's just a little), then i'd ask you to reconsider.

let your heart be your guide, not your hurt feelings

mind you: i agree whole-hearted about the whole mil thing.

i hope i didn't confuse you more.

fm me if i didn't make myself clear.

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Oh, it's definitely because my heart is ready to BURST from happiness from everything they've done. Everywhere I look around me is because of them. At the same time, it really would PISS ME OFF if they got lumped into the same generic 'thank you'. I plan to thank his mom for the Rehearsal Dinner at the R.D., so I'd like to thank my parents for the wedding in the program.

I feel like it would be WRONG to not thank them in the program for giving us the wedding. They made a lot of sacrifices to do it - sacrifices that weren't made on the other side - and I want it to be recognized. I really think it's the right thing to do.

something else to consider....

TRADITIONALLY
the parents of the bride host the wedding

the parents of the groom hos the rehearsal dinner

PERIOD

you, my friend, are having a 'traditional' wedding. i don't see what's wrong with thanking each for the contributions EACH has made.

i think i said that correctly

i hope you understand what i mean....

just in case, i'll say it in spanish. 'I AGREE WITH YOU'

i'm having a silly day

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Posted by sarahradio5

I feel like it would be WRONG to not thank them in the program for giving us the wedding. They made a lot of sacrifices to do it - sacrifices that weren't made on the other side - and I want it to be recognized. I really think it's the right thing to do.

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I'm warning you, it will come off as mean and ugly this way. I'd just steer clear of it....this will create DRAMA on your wedding day...do you really want/need that?

Okay... What do you think of this then?

Thank You…

We would like to thank our family and friends for joining us on this special day as we celebrate our marital union. This day is only complete because we’re surrounded by those we love!

To our amazing Bridal Party… thank you so much for being there for us in our lives and helping us as we prepared for our wedding day! Now, let’s party!!

Thank you to our parents for your unconditional love and support throughout the years. We are who we are because of you. We love you!

To Mom CXXXX - thank you for our beautiful Rehearsal Dinner! It is very much appreciated!

And, finally... thank you to Mom and Dad RXXXé for this amazing day. This is truly a dream wedding and a gift for which we can’t thank you enough!

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Posted by CLMon7906

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Posted by sarahradio5

I feel like it would be WRONG to not thank them in the program for giving us the wedding. They made a lot of sacrifices to do it - sacrifices that weren't made on the other side - and I want it to be recognized. I really think it's the right thing to do.

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I'm warning you, it will come off as mean and ugly this way. I'd just steer clear of it....this will create DRAMA on your wedding day...do you really want/need that?

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i see what you're saying. but with people like that, won't they just find drama somewhere else?

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Posted by sarahradio5

Okay... What do you think of this then?

Thank You…

We would like to thank our family and friends for joining us on this special day as we celebrate our marital union. This day is only complete because we’re surrounded by those we love!

To our amazing Bridal Party… thank you so much for being there for us in our lives and helping us as we prepared for our wedding day! Now, let’s party!!

Thank you to our parents for your unconditional love and support throughout the years. We are who we are because of you. We love you!

To Mom CXXXX - thank you for our beautiful Rehearsal Dinner! It is very much appreciated!

And, finally... thank you to Mom and Dad RXXXé for this amazing day. This is truly a dream wedding and a gift for which we can’t thank you enough!

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I think that's much better!

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Posted by libby2595

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Posted by CLMon7906

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Posted by sarahradio5

I feel like it would be WRONG to not thank them in the program for giving us the wedding. They made a lot of sacrifices to do it - sacrifices that weren't made on the other side - and I want it to be recognized. I really think it's the right thing to do.

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I'm warning you, it will come off as mean and ugly this way. I'd just steer clear of it....this will create DRAMA on your wedding day...do you really want/need that?

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i see what you're saying. but with people like that, won't they just find drama somewhere else?

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exactly... so why should I feel like I'm doing an injustice to my amazing parents to prevent drama from THEM? They should be thankful for this wedding, which is a family reunion and a big party for THEM and their whole family that they will throroughly enjoy! They should look at this thank you with contempt... they should agree with it!

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Posted by hayleyandsteve

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Posted by sarahradio5

Okay... What do you think of this then?

Thank You…

We would like to thank our family and friends for joining us on this special day as we celebrate our marital union. This day is only complete because we’re surrounded by those we love!

To our amazing Bridal Party… thank you so much for being there for us in our lives and helping us as we prepared for our wedding day! Now, let’s party!!

Thank you to our parents for your unconditional love and support throughout the years. We are who we are because of you. We love you!

To Mom CXXXX - thank you for our beautiful Rehearsal Dinner! It is very much appreciated!

And, finally... thank you to Mom and Dad RXXXé for this amazing day. This is truly a dream wedding and a gift for which we can’t thank you enough!

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I think that's much better!

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Thank you! . I'll change it to that!

And with all the drama last night, I never got to tell you that I'm taking the 'dashes' out! I'm a big fan of dashes and ellipses, and sometimes I go overboard. Thank you for your honesty!

I'd just keep away from pointing out who did what at this point. With all the chaos as of lately in your life, why bother stirring things up? AT the RD, thank her for the RD. You can also thank your parents for the upcoming wedding. It will go over much smoother than putting it in writing like that. Besides, I don't know that on the wedding program you should bring up the RD. Just a thought.

You'll end up doing as you wish...but I'm giving you honest advice, considering the high emotions, I'd just leave it at a gracious thank you to all your parents in general. The wedding program is NOT the place to tell the world who spent the most money. Besides, your invites told your guests who was paying since it was Mr. & Mrs. yourlastname blah blah blah their daughter Sarah.....to Joe.....

That's why your invites were like that....to tell your guests that YOUR parents were/are hosting and hosting=paying.


ETA---you'd be shocked at how quickly annoyed guests gossip at a wedding! it got around to me AT the wedding how my MIL was ticked that at 9 am she couldn't get a DRINK! And the person who told me about it heard it from someone she'd never met! Imagine if in print I had managed to somehow insult her [even if in her own mind]....the wedding would've ended rather quickly.

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Posted by NY031978

i agree Sarah w wanting to thank your parents.....i want to do the same my issue is Alexs parents arent giving a dime!!??!?? so how do i go about it???

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I think I'm going with the second one.

It's not that I don't appreciate the advice. You may be right. It might create more drama. But ya know what? I'm sick of tip toeing around these people. My parents are the most generous people I know, and they WILL be properly thanked and recognized in my program. I couldn't live with myself as their daughter otherwise.

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Posted by sarahradio5
I couldn't live with myself as their daughter otherwise.

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there is your answer