Need help regarding whether my FH's half sister should be in my BP

LisaJill Posted: Nov 08, 2005 02:47 PM

Need help regarding whether my FH's half sister should be in my BP

I do not know how to handle this but I really want to do the right thing here. MY FH's parents are divorced and he has a half sister (his dad's daughter) who is 15. They live on Long Island. Since I have been with FH (almost 4 years) I have met his father and half sister only a handful of times, in the past year we saw them three times... day after X-mas, his father's birthday, and his grandmother's birthday party last week (first time I had met his father's family). Well, the trouble I am having is whether to invite his 15yr old half sister to be in the BP. I am aiming to have an intimate wedding and i have 5 BMs. I feel like it is rude not to invite her but on the other hand, I do'nt want to hurt my FMIL (father left her and married woman that he had an affair with), she is still very bitter. But his half sister is a nice girl and I feel like perhaps I can help him with his relationship with that side of the family if I involve them. I think the bottom line is that I want to do the right thing... i do not want to step on any toes and I want to pay the proper respect to everyone. Help please! Any other suggestions on how to deal with this? This will be an interfaith wedding but we will not be doing any readings (in case someone was going to suggest that)
Thank you guys for any advise that you can give.

alex110879 Posted: Nov 08, 2005 04:54 PM

Re: Need help regarding whether my FH's half sister should be in my BP

Are you including al the other siblings?? If not then I wouldnt worry about it...trust me, you wil regret having someone you barely see.... Even if it is family... I have my SIL in mine and i have seen her 6 times since we got engaged, all at family occasions, but i felt bad not asking her since i had asked my other sil.... focus on you being happy

stephanielyse Posted: Nov 08, 2005 05:03 PM

.

October Bliss Posted: Nov 08, 2005 05:36 PM

Re: Need help regarding whether my FH's half sister should be in my BP

I see no reason why you have to include her. Your BP is pretty big as it is. My FH has two full sisters (no brothers) and neither one is in my BP. My half-brother is walking me down the aisle, because we are very close and my full brother is not included at all, because we are not very close. I thought about trying to include my full brother for the sake of family harmony, but I don't want it to feel fake and I'm afraid that is how it will feel if he walks with me down the aisle (as both of them did when my sister got married).

All that said, you have to do what you feel is right given all the circumstances.

cindyandkevin Posted: Nov 08, 2005 05:46 PM

Re: Need help regarding whether my FH's half sister should be in my BP

I can understand you wanting to include your FH's half-sister and make nice with his father's side but I really don't think you should ask her to be in your BP. Your BMs are supposed to be girls you're close with, not those who 'should' be there purely out of family obligation. Esp since the girl is only 15, I don't think she'd be expecting to be asked being that you've only met her a few times. Honestly, it might also be very intimidating for her being that she prob doesn't know anyone else in the BP.