Need help with a situation- UPDATED

DCLM726 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:45 AM

Need help with a situation- UPDATED

Update: I asked my friend last night at dinner and she said YES!!! She was so excited! I explained the situation and she was very understanding. Thanks girls for all of your advice!

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Please do not quote me on this because I am deleting it later uncase of lurkers. Sorry so long.

So heres the story. I have a friend who I used to be close with, we lost our closeness when my FH and her DH had a stuipd argument. A few months before FH and I got engaged the guys started talking again. The girl and I still werent that close.

Now FH and I get engaged and we begin to ask the friends to be in the BP. FH askes the guy to be his BM. I still wasnt close to the wife yet. However, I wanted to ask her to be a BM because we had been friends for so long.

Over the next few months, I started to ask the other girls, even talking to her about one girl that I was on the fence about (this girl was a long time friend of mine but was not acting much like a friend) but I didnt ask her.

Over the last few months, we have gotten as close as we were in the past. Now I everytime our wedding comes up with this couple I try to change the subject because i feel so bad about not asking her to be a BM. I cant seem to get the courage to do it since so much time has passed.

Now what should I do? How can I handle this?

angl2001 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:48 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

you can still ask her.....if u want to. dont just ask her cause her DH is in the BP! Tell her you were still deciding of people for the BP and would like her to be a part of it...i think she will be ok with it!!!
GL

beachbum05 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:50 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

Totally ask her. I think she'd be flattered. I asked someone almoist a year after we got engaged (after I'd already asked the other girls). Honestly, how could she get mad? How many people are fortunate enough to even BE in your wedding party? It's an honor.

AMGBride2008 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:50 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

I would just ask her. Be honest and let her know that she's not a last minute addition. Tell her that over the past few months, you've gotten close again and your couldn't imagine your day without her as one of your BMs... I'm sure she'll be touched and won't think you're asking her out of pity.

DCLM726 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:54 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

Thanks girls. I feel like such shiiittt that this happened. When FH told me this the other night, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

AmandaLynn04 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 09:58 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

Tell her the truth, and ask her.

It's not like you hated her or anything -- you just weren't sure where the two of you stood.

I'm sure she can appreciate your position, and she'll be flattered.

Fall Bride 2008 Posted: Oct 08, 2007 10:08 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

I think you can ask her and she would be really happy just to be asked. Let her know that you were still undecided about picking your bridal party. I would give it a week or 2 then take her out to dinner and if she mentions that she thinks she was an afterthought just let her know you were undecided good luck

davenjess Posted: Oct 08, 2007 10:11 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

You can definitely still invite her in. As everyone else said - sit down with her at dinner or lunch or something and ask!

mariaobride Posted: Oct 08, 2007 10:17 AM

Re: Need help with a situation

Get it off your chest and ask her you will feel so much better that you did- just honestly tell her that she was never an afterthought your intentions was to ask her but you weren't sure how to . Let her know how honored and happy you would be if she was a apart of the BP and your special day.