need help wording something

Ok, so, this might be a bit complicated, so bear with me.

So, I chose to have only one friend and my sister in my bridal party, and cut it off there. I want to keep it really small, and it's the kind of thing where if I add one person, it's hard not to add others.

However, one of my friends happens to be roomates with the one girl who I chose to be in the bridal party. I'm really not close enough with her to make her a bridesmaid (plus the whole keeping it small thing), but she is very sensitive and not the highest self-esteem, and it's really important to me that she not feel left out or excluded or like I don't care for her.

So, I decided to make her a sort of honorary bridesmaid, and include her in all the fun happenings, but she basically doesn't get the title or wear the dress on the day of.

I got for my bridal party t-shirts that say 'bridesmaid' or 'maid of honor', so I got for this friend a t-shirt that reads 'Honorary Bridesmaid (all the fun, don't have to buy the dress)'. These friends live in Boston, and I'm going up there this week, actually for this girl's birthday, so I'd like to give her the t-shirt then.

Here's my dilemma: how do I present this so that it sounds like a good thing and she's being included, not like a push off from being in the bridal party? Also, how do I present this so that it doesn't seem like it's her birthday present (therefore making her birthday all about me and my wedding, you know?)? I didn't actually get her another gift because I'm shelling out money to get up there, and helping to pay for her surprise birthday party, and I really just can't afford much else. So, it might seem like this was her present, and that would be wierd.

So, what do I say? How do I present this? I think it will make her happy to be included in a kind of official way, but I need to present it properly.

thanks!

Would you be willing to have her do a reading at your ceremony? Maybe you can ask her to do that while you give her the shirt? Also, maybe you can get her a bunch of balloons and say, 'These are for your birthday! Happy Birthday!' and 'This is something for the wedding... we decided we're having a very small wedding party, but you mean so much to me I really wanted you to be a special part of our day, so I would be honored if you would do a reading at our ceremony, and be kind of an 'honorary bridesmaid' for our wedding! You don't have to spend the money on the dress or anything... just be there for me so we have a kick-*** time together!!!'

Something like that...?

I would present this to her in a gift bag with a note that says, 'Thanks for being apart of my big day' or something like this. Than maybe you can get her a birthday card with a few lotto tickets.

or

You don't have to present this at her birthday, you can give it too her later on that night or the next day.

Good luck. HTH

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Posted by sarahradio5

Would you be willing to have her do a reading at your ceremony? Maybe you can ask her to do that while you give her the shirt? Also, maybe you can get her a bunch of balloons and say, 'These are for your birthday! Happy Birthday!' and 'This is something for the wedding... we decided we're having a very small wedding party, but you mean so much to me I really wanted you to be a special part of our day, so I would be honored if you would do a reading at our ceremony, and be kind of an 'honorary bridesmaid' for our wedding! You don't have to spend the money on the dress or anything... just be there for me so we have a kick-*** time together!!!'

Something like that...?

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I can't really ask her to do a reading at this point because we haven't written the ceremony yet, so I don't know how many readings there will be, if there even are any... and my family (who also aren't in the bridal party, like cousins and grandparents) really get first dibs on those.

But I like the way you worded it.. and the balloons are a great idea! thanks!

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Posted by pigs222seal

I would present this to her in a gift bag with a note that says, 'Thanks for being apart of my big day' or something like this. Than maybe you can get her a birthday card with a few lotto tickets.

or

You don't have to present this at her birthday, you can give it too her later on that night or the next day.

Good luck. HTH

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well, her birthday is today, I'm going up for the party this weekend... but the card is a good idea, to keep things seperate.

you could also ask her to help with giving out the programs, cry packs (if you have them), and whatever you might be tossing at the end. I have 3 girls who are very important to me, who i couldn't put in my bridal party (i already have 9 BM's), and so i asked them if they would help out on the wedding day b/c i care about them and want them involved. i also got them a little something to say thank you that i'll present at the RD. not sure if you're looking to include her in any other way, but that might be a nice way to do it......