NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

cantwait2bewed Posted: Mar 11, 2005 11:16 AM

NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

My good friend who is getting married in 2 months is having a problem. Her and her FH have been arguing a lot , u know stress with the wedding, house etc. They were arguing every day and usually it was b/c of her picking at him. Her anger has really pushed him away for the last couple of weeks, so much so that he doesnt want to have SEX with her now. They haven't done anything for like 2 weeks. He says they need to take things slow because they argue to much and he just cant see sleeping with her if they are always arguing. She asked me for advice but i wanted to get the opinions and support from you girls before i go and give her this advice. She has already talked things through with him but he wants to wait until things get better between them to have sex again. I have heard that it is not uncommon for guys to feel this way when there women hurt them. Should she wait until things cool down and just take things slow?

kissy27 Posted: Mar 11, 2005 11:36 AM

Re: NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

I honestly don't think your friend has a choice...She can not force her FH to want to do something when he has clearly told her that he wants to 'make things better' before they re-establish their sexual relationship....If she was to force the issue now, it could cause more problems...I think everyone gets stressed & especially at crunch time...I think her FH is being rational in stating they need to work on them before they add that element back in

Kerrycec Posted: Mar 11, 2005 11:39 AM

Re: NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

I think they are doomed. I hate to be brutal, but when it gets down to 'no sex' there is some serious problems.

SweetCin704 Posted: Mar 11, 2005 11:54 AM

Re: NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

I think in this situation it is understandable. It seems her anger/control is pushing him away. It sounds as if he feels he has no control anymore in the relationsihp & that may be a way to have at least some control.

She needs to give him a little space & if this is how he feels for now, I'd say she has to live with it.

Also perhaps in this state he is turned off towards her, he doesn't see the side he fell in love with, only the controlling, arguing girl. Think if things were reversed. Would you want to make love to your FH if he was argumentative, controlling & angry?

This is JMO, but I think she needs to give him space & maybe then he'll open up to her....

cantwait2bewed Posted: Mar 11, 2005 01:25 PM

Re: NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

bump

gNi1125 Posted: Mar 11, 2005 02:47 PM

Re: NEED HELP...PERSONAL QUESTION

I understand she's stressed because of everything that's going on it's normal. What's not normal is that she nitpicks at things. Personally, I wouldn't want to have sex with FH either if we were fighting all the time. You can't just turn off the resentment and turn on the passion with the flip of a switch. First things first she needs to relax a little and remember why FH is so important to her in the first place. They need to work on the relationship and then the physical aspect will fall into place. I wish the best for the them.