Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:41 PM

Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

DH had kept in touch with a girl who he was friends with (and also slept with a couple of times) up until last year, when I came upon an email that he'd sent saying something like 'I miss talking to you'. I told him that while I didn't have a problem with him talking to old 'friends' I'd like to know about it and I'd rather she call the house than it be like they were sneaking. DH understood and said that they wouldn't talk.
Awhile passed, and he told me that she emailed him Happy Holidays, yadda, yadda, yadda and he'd emailed her that we had the baby.
I noticed within the past few weeks that we had a Yahoo! Instant Messanger icon on the computer, but really didn't pay any attention to it.
Today, while I'm on the computer, he gets a Yahoo IM from her. I call him and said that I wish he would have told me that they were still talking, and he said he just installed the Yahoo IM thing last night to talk to his friend Bob. Now, the icon had been there for awhile, and doesn;t it seem alittle ODD that he 'Installed it last night' and he gets an IM from her today?? How would she even know he had it??
He's making it like I'm crazy for being bothered. How would you feel?

ETA: I'm not being naive here, but I really believe he is not the cheating type. I DO have trust issues from my former marriage, I am NOT a jealous person, and while I truly don't believe he'd cheat, I do feel like something doesn't add up here...

cocoa Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:44 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

hmmm...i don't know, but i'd defn. talk to him. don't let it stew b/c obviously it is bothering you. let him know that.

don424 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:46 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

i'd talk to him, something doesn't add up

TwoBugs Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:46 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

I wouldn't be that bothered by his getting in touch with an old friend (even an ex-fling) but I would definitely be bothered by the fact that he obviously lied about just installing the IM thing. Still, I would be careful not to jump to conclusions.

lvdolphins Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:48 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

I think I'd have a talk with him.

heidla Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:48 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

I am sure that there is nothing to worry about, but I would definately have a talk with him. My DH did the same sort of thing because he thought that I was 'just saying' that it was okay that he talk to this person. Men are just silly sometimes.

Sweetie2004 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:53 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

Posted by heidla

I am sure that there is nothing to worry about, but I would definately have a talk with him. QUOTE]

I agree!

kpny622 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 05:57 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

I would be bothered, yes, if it were my DH. Not because I don't trust him and not because I would think something is going on between them - because I do and I wouldn't. I'd assume he didn't tell me the truth because it was no big deal and he didn't want to upset me or deal with it. But I'd be bothered by the fact that he was being a little secretive, and also because he felt the need to continue constant contact when he knew it was a sensitive issue.

beautyq115 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 08:00 PM

Re: Need honest opinions...Would you be bothered???

I would definetely be bothered!!!

When I first started going out my FI ex was still e-mailing him and it ticked me off....I didn't want to see like a pyscho so I didn't say anything but later I told him that I didn't like it!

Ask him what's up....is he trying to hide it from you??/ Then why is that?

Good Luck!