Posted by Ser29
Ok girls this might sound pathetic but I need to vent in a big big way... my FH is on a business trip and this is the first night in over a year that I have been separated from him in a different city. I thought I would be okay, he left this morning around 3 am and I've been telling myself all day you'll be ok you will. But having only heard from him when I've called him twice just now and couple of hours ago I feel soooooo far away from him. He's having a blast and learning all new stuff about his company and i'm happy for him but I MISS him sooo much that I just got off the phone with him and started crying hysterically... Am I being horrible? All I want to do his grab him right now and hug him and go to sleep in his arms and never let go. Has anyone who has gone through this have any advice as to how to make it easier. I guess I feel like if he attempted to say hi I love you at all and call I might feel better but he doesn't even seem to be thinking of me and that hurts even more because he's all I've thought about the past 24 hrs. Any advice and lots of hugs are much needed.
This is all you've thought about the past 24 hrs...here ya go..you asked for it...The Nina Treatment-PS...if you don't get empowered after this...FM me.
Okay...here we go
First...
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yes its okay to be sad...
Second..Hear me out on this..this is not a post to make you feel bad...just perspective
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So here I go...Try having your FH in Iraq for a year!!!!!!! Honey your man is on a business trip, he's not in harms way, he's probably bettering himself and becoming more knowledgable of his profession so you two can have a better life or more prosperous life one day. He's not in harms way..he'll be back.
It is okay to be a little sad, he is your life partner, your companion, your best friend, your everything....but capitalize on this. I feel that often times when we find the right one..we spend our every last minute, second doing everything with this person, It's always 'we' and 'us'....but we forget who the 'I' is. We forget things to do things with 'me' and have time just for 'me'. We almost forget who we are without that person.
Look, when Peter first left I was a little like this. However, I could not call him. I would hear from him once a week, if that, and it would be from a sattelite phone, so it was choppy. He would talk to me about missions he's been on, bombs, guns, people he sees, Iraq, the Iraqis..and I would get soo mad after we got off the phone and would cry because although he told me he loved me and missed me and wished he were home...the bulk of the conversation was about the previous mentioned. And then you learn....
Honey...he loves you, he thinks about you, he misses you....he asked YOU to spend the rest of your life with him...I think that means something. But he probably is not stressing because he is a man and thinks differently than us...and also because he will be home soon...
Its time for 'me' time. We need to be a little more independent. What did you with your time before him? Run a bath, have a glass of wine, decompress yourself, get a facial, a massage, go on a walk by yourself, hang out with the girls, or call that friend that you've been meaning to call, or do that thing you've been wanting to do that you never quite get around to....do something for you. I can give you a list of things to do if you need one. Empower yourself.
Again, I understand the concept of two become one, and you are probably used to not being without him and doing everything with him. But in order to have a strong foundation for your relationship, you need YOUR own pillar of strength, a pillar that consists of YOUR own character. You can not cry hysterically every time he goes on a business trip. After I realized this for myself, I moved on. I have learned so much about myself, I got to know myself, I found out my strengths and weaknesses, and capitalized on them. And I am soo much stronger now, and am empowered and nothing can hold me down. I love myself even more now...and our relationship is even stronger now...because the pillar is stronger. And as a matter of fact, I've really learned to appreciate and enjoy, Nina time!!! When FH gets back and if he has to go on a week or two business trip, you will see it in the news...'Nina Moves Mountains while DH is On Business Trip' because I will find it as a time to empower myself!!!!
There are going to be times in this life where you will have to be without each other, just see it as an opportunity, not an obstacle. Like I said...do something just for you, you deserve it. Because if you don't you are doing you AND your FH a big disservice.
So...stop being sad about it for now..plan your wedding....surf the net...do something....FM me or anyone if you just want to talk...hang out with family..walk around a mall...just do something. And if you think about him and miss him, fine, thats normal, but life keeps going and so should you.
There are women on this site that have had to postpone their wedding because of their FH's deployment, or, like myself, are planning it on their own because of their deployment. Trust me honey, you can deal with a business trip.
So do yourself a favor and love yourself. I did not mean to make this into a novel. But put yourself in my shoes and read a post like this.
And he'll be home sooner than you know it. And the reunion will be fantastic because absence does make the heart grow fonder and you appreciate the other more. Hug him, and hold him...and while your doing that..think of the other women on this site and in this world for that matter that can not do that, because our FH's are on an extended business trip
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crying hysterically is not an option for us.
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