Need MOH help

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Posted by PattyCakes16

Once I offered up my support you started telling me about certain things you have been doing, and I didn't approve of them {and I think you know why I didn't approve of them}. I got mad at you for that {and I was very justified in doing so, I think}.

I'm sorry, I understand that you are planning a wedding, and I tried to help, but you are not the only one with problems. You expect everyone to be there for you and to help you deal with all your problems, but when things get really serious with me, you're still focused on you. I couldn't take it anymore. You didn't even bother to ask me what my issues were,

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This is what I was referring to when I said you have no reason to say I was only focused on me. I never said a time frame. I used the days before my fathers death as an example bc thats when you were having problems w those two people.

When did I get on your case of not talking to the girls about a bachelorette party? I never gave you the names of people to invite until we started looking to change the date! Plus, you knew as soon as we got screwed over by the vineyard that we most likely wouldnt have a choice but to do so. I knew that you hadnt started making plans, and I didnt care about it bc, if you remember correctly, I didnt even want anything to do w the wedding after my father died. I only said something to tease you bc I heard that you kept saying you would get to it another tme. I also told you from the GET that I could care less if I had a shower.

See, this is the problem here ... You complain about me, but I dont hear about it until how long later ... I had no idea the Zac Efron joke was bothering you, it was just that - a joke! As an adult, and as one of my best friends of 20+ years, I dont understand how you can go and complain about it to others and me have no idea bc all you do is laugh about it!

This is why I requested that we talk about everything weeks ago. To set up time and let everything out, whether it was related to each other or not - and you declined. And then you never returned my calls. Then, I wrote to you asking for a fresh start to the year, and that wasnt good for you, the only way was for you to back out of the wedding. You obviously knew what you were doing. So I went to my fellow brides to see if anyones had a similar situation, seeking advice from people who would not be biased to either of us, because they don't know either of us. And I did tell people that you claimed to have no idea about FH being in the hospital ... Maybe not specifically on here, but I did.

I resorted to facebook, not only for you, but for everyone, whether I had their phone numbers or not. I figured that, while I was in the hospital, I could type something up quickly and put my phone away, as opposed to security coming and telling me to get off the phone, or leave the ER. I stayed at the hospital overnight with FH, never left his side, not even to smoke a cigarette. Again, when I didnt even call his friends and family, how was I supposed to call you and say anything? It would be unfair to them.

I never wanted any of this to happen. I told you during every email passed that I love you and wanted this behind us. I still do, whether you are in the bridal party or not.

OK, well, I never said you were only focused on yourself around the time of anything having to do with your dad.

As far as the bachelorette party. Yes, you did get on my case about it saying that you asked the girls and they told you that I haven't contacted them regarding it. If I said that I would get to it another time it was because I had like 6 months to plan everything, and that is more than enough time to plan those kinds of things.

What other people did I complain to about you??? I'm complaining to YOU right now because it has gotten to this point. I wouldn't be complaining had you not have given me such aggravation about me not reaching out to you when FH was in the hospital. I DIDN'T SEE WHAT YOU HAD PUT ON FACEBOOK! I HAD NO IDEA THAT ANYTHING WAS GOING ON! Yet you get on me about that and you make up stories about what you've been doing. That's what got me to this breaking point! I have my own crap going on in my life, a lot of things going on, and on top of it I have to deal with you getting on me for something I had no idea about, and you lying to me like a child.

Yes, I declined to further this argument with you, because I was so annoyed by you earlier in the day. Like really, when did we start lying to each other just to get attention that we were already getting? You had no right to start anything with me for me not seeing your posts on facebook. You had a couple of days after his surgery to call me up, but you didn't. You just continued to wait, and then you got on me for being oblivious to your plight. When you wanted to talk to me after, I was just so mad, and annoyed at you, and I had already said what I needed to say, that I thought more of a conversation with you would get me even more stressed. So, yes, I declined. And, as for your calls... You called me ONCE after that argument. After, you started a text message fight with me you decided to call me up and cry about everything that's going on. Things that I've tried to help you with in the past, you declined my help, said in text messages that I never tried to help you with those things, and now you wanna talk about them??? AFTER you started a fight? Yes, I did not answer that call. I was mad, and annoyed, and I was BUSY. Why is that so hard for you to believe that I am a busy person. I have a job, a 4 year old daughter, and a husband. I have things I need to take care of before I can continue an argument with you. Was that email on New Years Day really a way of making a fresh start??? Yeah, it started off nice, and yeah, it kinda ended nice, but the main body of the email was getting on me for not replying to your vm. I saw that it wasn't gonna end. That no matter how many times I explain that I'm busy to you, you still won't understand. We would be getting into this argument constantly I thought. I would either need to put aside my life and sit and facebook stalk you, always being on cue in case you ever needed anything, or I would have to back out. And, since I am not going to put my daughter and family on hold I chose to back out. And, yes, you went to strangers on a wedding website, that don't know either of us, and gave them a skewed version of events.

I'm not saying that you HAVE to call me. But don't get mad and start crap with me when I don't see your posts on Facebook. You can't call me? Fine... just don't get mad when your method doesn't work. It was unnecessary.

Don't act like you're the victim here, because you're not. You might've said in MOST of your emails that you loved me and want to get it behind us, but these words were spread between accusations, and harsh words. It doesn't work like that, you can't say one thing and then contradict yourself. And please, please, please, what joke did you make that I flipped out on??? Please clarify!