Need opinions (long situation)

Hey ladies! You may remember my vent on the fact that FH did not understand why flowers are so expensive. We are paying for the wedding all on our own and he felt that all the florists quotes were rip-offs. As a compromise I decided not to go with a florist but to recruit crafty and creative family members to help with the flowers.

Well, FMIL has offered to pay for the florist. She is concerned that I will be stressing out with the decorations and flowers on the wedding day and wants to make me happy. FH wants me to decide. I just feel so bad because she has already insisted on hosting the RD and my dad is un-employeed so my family is not able to pay for anything.

What makes is so frustrating for me is that FH and I can afford the flowers, he just doesn't want to pay what they cost. It seems wrong to me to let his mom pay for it when we could cover the bill. On the other-hand I also realize that it should be okay to accept help for both of our familes when offered.

So my thoughts are to allow her to pay for the bouquets and personal flowers and then try to create candles/floaters and rose petal centerpieces that will be simple to put out on the weding day.

I would appreciate others opinions because this is a difficult decision for me to make and FH wants me to decide.

Thanks!!!

Honest.. If she really couldn't pay for the flowers, I don't think she would have offered.. That doesn't mean to run out and use the most expensive florist out there, but take it for what it's worth.. perhaps you coud include her in your search? I'm sure that
would make her feel special.

Good luck hun!!

We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves as well. In my opinion, if someone is offering to help, take it. They are offering becuase they love you and it is one less thing to worry about on your special day. Good luck!

Hi, I do have to make a quick note that I'm really not frustrated with FH about this at all. I'm just horrible making decisions.

He is really clueless about flowers and just doesn't understand why they should cost so much. He is actually really very sweet and is concerned about our future finances. I want to be able to stop working to raise our family in a few years, so I know that 1,000 here & 1,000 there for wedding and HM is just starting to stress him way out. The 30k we are spending now will mean a lot in the future! I do like that he keeps me grounded on finances...

Edited for spelling typos , oops!

I understand that completely!! I sort of misread the original post.

I think it's an even harder decision, because it's his mother. If your parents were in the position to offer, you would probably feel more comfortable accepting the offer.

I have to agree with Marcella, his mom wouldn't have offered if she didn't want to or wasn't able to. I understand completely. My FI's parents are in a much better position than my mom. They have helped us out a lot with things. I was really weird about it in the beginning, now they just tell him to tell me cuz they don't want an argument. I think his mom wants you both to be happy and not stressed, so she is doing what she can to make it easier.
I would however, include her in your florist search, so she knows you aren't trying to take advantage.
Good luck!

I am kind of in the same situation - since it is just my Dad - he gave us some money towards the wedding, but FH parents gave twice as much plus they keep buying us stuff - which I am not complaining about.

I think if she would like to buy them, then let her. Maybe you could take the money that you were going to spend on making things and put it together with your FMIL's.

I would have another long talk with FH about this. It's ridiculous, Sorry-but I think he's being a jerk. You should tell him that you'll be as frugal as possible when working with the florist, but it's your wedding and you don't deserve to have to be put through this, nor should his mom have to pay for his selfishness....

If that won't work, take her up on the offer, but be frugal when picking your flowers.

JMO