wow, that's a hard one. If your whole family will be there and you are from OOT, that is quite a pickle.
I also understand her not wanting to open the flood gates for other guests with children.
I would have one more conversation with her, but you have to actually be willing to do what you offer. As in the situation with your DH and SIL trading places and missing segments of the wedding. If you are not comfortable with the option, don't offer it. Good Luck, I do hope it works out
Cpt2007
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
In all honesty, I think that she's being ridiculous and completely selfish. I would be totally offended to the point of telling her that I was dropping out.
I am just shocked that anyone would do that, particularly if she's your bf. I'd really push back on her and just say, tough, I'm bringing DD. Especially since the RB and his sister will be there, there really isn't an excuse. She's probably thinking 'slippery slope' but it sounds like it would be a total hardship for you.
My advice: push back, and push back hard.
edited for grammar.
lyss0908
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
Posted by Cpt2007
In all honesty, I think that she's being ridiculous and completely selfish. I would be totally offended to the point of telling her that I was dropping out.
I am just shocked that anyone would do that, particularly if she's your bf. I'd really push back on her and just say, tough, I'm bringing DD. Especially since the RB and his sister will be there, there really isn't an excuse. She's probably thinking 'slippery slope' but it sounds like it would be a total hardship for you.
My advice: push back, and push back hard.
edited for grammar.
I agree!!!! She is being a tad ridiculous. Its not like you are just 'any' guest. I would talk to her about it. Any chance she is a bride on here and is seeing this post?? maybe it will change her mind
wedquest
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
I agree!!!! She is being a tad ridiculous. Its not like you are just 'any' guest. I would talk to her about it. Any chance she is a bride on here and is seeing this post?? maybe it will change her mind
I searched and searched and I don't think she is. If I knew she was I would be too chicken to post this.
My problem is I was always a believer in 'whatever the bride wants'. And I just didn't want to put any pressure on her. But I just don't think I can let this one go.
I agree with the ladies...you are the MOH and being an out of towner she should be more understanding of all this! You need to speak up about this and tell her what you told us....If she cant understand...then she is not someone I'd want to be a MOH for!
FutureMrsG
Posted:
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Re: need opinions please...long
If this person has been your friend for 25 years then I think you should let her know how you feel about this situation.
agraydc
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
this is a really hard situation for everyone....
i completely understand your predicament with being OOT and having a young 1......
but as a future bride with a lot of friends with children also being OOT guests at my wedding, I still dont want an adult party to turn into romper room....
i think what you offered is probably your best option and while it is a sucky situation, i would try to give the bride what she wants....also if you werent comfortable with that offer you shouldnt have offered it because now she is going to assume you are ok with it
just my opinion
wedquest
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
Posted by agraydc
if you werent comfortable with that offer you shouldnt have offered it because now she is going to assume you are ok with it
just my opinion
I wish I hadn't said that. It really is my only option (other than asking if I can bring her) but I truly thought she would say...'oh you can't do that...just bring her'. She called my bluff!!!!
agraydc
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
Posted by wedquest
Posted by agraydc
if you werent comfortable with that offer you shouldnt have offered it because now she is going to assume you are ok with it
just my opinion
I wish I hadn't said that. It really is my only option (other than asking if I can bring her) but I truly thought she would say...'oh you can't do that...just bring her'. She called my bluff!!!!
im sorry this is such a difficult situation and i honestly dont see any other solution if there is no one here to watch your daughter do you time to get your daughter used to someone new before you have to go, then she could stay here?
Celeste617
Posted:
Member since
Re: need opinions please...long
Posted by wedquest
Posted by agraydc
if you werent comfortable with that offer you shouldnt have offered it because now she is going to assume you are ok with it
just my opinion
I wish I hadn't said that. It really is my only option (other than asking if I can bring her) but I truly thought she would say...'oh you can't do that...just bring her'. She called my bluff!!!!
Wow, I really am surprised that your BF would say 'good idea' to that! I don't want children at my wedding, but there are exceptions that will be made. You do those kinds of things for the people that you love. I think you should talk to her about this - maybe she'll realize that she is being selfish. Good luck!
