need oppinions on bridesmaids---edited to include letter to BM

kellybean Posted: Oct 02, 2007 07:55 AM

need oppinions on bridesmaids---edited to include letter to BM

my wedding is 02/28/2008. I have been having a hard time with my bridesmaids..well except for two....I had to not only change my dress color but length etc.....however those who complained the most still have not ordered their dresses...this has been ongoing for a while my brothers wife would even love if we changed the date because a thursday means they have to take wed thur and fri off from work and its hard with two kids.....yet for their wedding I had a child under 2 and was 7 months pregnant and did everything I was asked...any way I want to send out an email letting all the bridesmaids know that if they havent ordered by fri the order is being put in any way ...do you think thats wrong??

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Hey ! if the dresses arent ordered by mon they will have to be rushed....and its an extra fee...I dont think its right to make the people who have already ordered have to pay that so the order will be placed on monday ....Im not trying to be pushy/bitchy etc....I also understand that this is decent amount of money and I dont want to put any one in a bad position....If you arent going to be able to order I totally understand and will not be hurt or angry. so if any cant and has to back out I totally understand but please let me know as soon as you can ! thanks !!

Its a rough draft but what do you think??

minibride08 Posted: Oct 02, 2007 08:46 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I think communication with bmaids is key. Send out your expectations, including timeline for ordering dresses and stick to it! If you have to order the dress by Friday ie: then let them know, follow up & order it. If one/two are really pushing back- maybe reconcider if they really have the funds, time, etc. to commit to this and would it be less stress to just have a few that are totally committed? HTH

Super2star Posted: Oct 02, 2007 08:50 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I dont blame you....some people just need a little fire under their a$$!!!

blu6385 Posted: Oct 02, 2007 08:51 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

honestly no not at all ... all my BMs were honestly stressing me out ... they all had something diffrent to complain about ... and i sat and thought how ridculous that was .... i have already enough stress with the wedding and i didnt need them adding to it .... so i wrote them an email telling basically what was expected of them to be a BMs ... yeah it might have been a 'little tough' but it got the point across i also made it clear that if they needed to step down for finacial reasons i completely understood being in a wedding is expensive (though i have been trying to keep everything at very low cost for them ... i am not 'requring' any of them to get hair or make up done) .. well a couple of them didnt take it well but you know what i am now and so are they stress free!!!! ... i am sure some things may still come up but at least i got the point across that this should be enjoyable and not stressful! HTH

kellybean Posted: Oct 02, 2007 09:09 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

they could have ordered their dresses any time they wanted in the last 2 months.......so I dont feel bad

JTsGal829 Posted: Oct 02, 2007 09:11 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

i don't think you're wrong at all. It can be soo frustrating when you feel like the people most important to you are the ones making things the most difficult. You choose girls who are special to stand up with you that day and it's a crappy feeling when they don't step up to the plate and help..especially when you've been there for them. I say you def. let them know that this HAS to be done... i don't think it's wrong at all for you to expect that this should have been done already.

kellybean Posted: Oct 02, 2007 09:54 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I have a feeling my bridal party is going to shrink horribly lol

kslmbuggie Posted: Oct 02, 2007 09:58 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I dont think you should order the dresses for them. Have you asked them if they really want to be in the wedding? This could be a reason they are procrastinating.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:19 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I am so sorry so many of you are going through this .... it's really a shame, since you pick your BMs based on the fact that they are really close to you and they are the people you want surrounding you on your wedding day.

LuvMyAlfonse Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:29 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

Posted by kellybean
any way I want to send out an email letting all the bridesmaids know that if they havent ordered by fri the order is being put in any way ...do you think thats wrong??

I personally don't think it's wrong. I tried to put myself on the receiving end of that letter (I put myself in your bro's wife's shoes). So, if I got that letter. I would be pissed (b/cI'm already mad at you). But I would be like, 'Wait Kelly! Ugh' and go order the dress.

I think you should do it. It will def light a fire under people's assses. And don't feel bad about it.

Sorry you're going through this BS.

Not for nothing, but I'm going to be a bridezilla with my BMs. Just seeing you guys all go through this, I'm totally telling them - this is the dress, this is when you have to have it ordered by, and if there are any problems - don't tell me about them.

Browneyesncute Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:38 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

Can you get everyone together to order the dress? i'm inviting everyone over for pizza and were gonna go order them together! that way i know its done at the same time! lol

davenjess Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:46 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

I am so sorry you are dealing with this!!!

I had a similar issue. 3 of my BP made it to the store on one day & the 4th insisted on measuring herself & didn't come. When it came time to place the order - she didn't send in her measurements - claiming she had no time.

I eventually wrote to her and told her that all 3 girls picking out their dresses took less an an hour and once they did pick them out - the measuring took 3 minutes. I appealed to my brother (it's his wife) and he took care of it for me. The next day - the order was in...

I'd definitely tell them that the order will go in with or without them - it's time to get them off their butts!!!

Mizzdimple Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:51 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

no i dont think its wrong hey you know what..if they dont put the order in they dont get a dress!

I would say

'FYI Girls...if the order is not placed on Friday, the rush order fees are X amount and I wouldnt want anyone having to pay extra because they missed the deadline..Thanks!!!!!!!!'..

kellybean Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:52 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

My brothers wife is in virgina....she actually tried to demand my mom have my shower on a certain weekend because she will already be up here and then she dosent have to make a special trip up here which she wont...I know she dosent want to be in it ......so just say that.....as far as everyone else they keep swearing it will get done.........

kellybean Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:53 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

Posted by kslmbuggie

I dont think you should order the dresses for them. Have you asked them if they really want to be in the wedding? This could be a reason they are procrastinating.

I would never order for them..........

davenjess Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:53 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

Posted by Mizzdimple

no i dont think its wrong hey you know what..if they dont put the order in they dont get a dress!

I would say

'FYI Girls...if the order is not placed on Friday, the rush order fees are X amount and I wouldnt want anyone having to pay extra because they missed the deadline..Thanks!!!!!!!!'..

PERFECT!!

davenjess Posted: Oct 02, 2007 10:53 AM

Re: need oppinions on bridesmaids

Posted by kellybean

Posted by kslmbuggie

I dont think you should order the dresses for them. Have you asked them if they really want to be in the wedding? This could be a reason they are procrastinating.

I would never order for them..........

NOOOOOOO!!! God forbid they back out - you are then stuck!