Need prayers ...and help dealing with a situation

Hey all awhile back I posted about my uncle having metastasized cancer.. he passed away a few hours ago...
He is in a much better place now, his year of suffering is over...

I just want to know how to you all deal with going to a wake.. it may be tmi but last time i tried to go to one (3 years ago, best friends gma i barely knew) i went in there and ran out freaking out and vomited in the parking lot..
ive avoided all other wakes/funerals since then i dont deal well with death (well partly true.. the passing part.. thats fine i know everyones up there somewhere IMO chilling and watching over us... its the wake .. paying respects in a formal setting that totally freaks me out )

no advice (i am the same way), just hugs!

first of all i am sorry for your loss and you are right he is in a better place .....cancer is such a terrible disease to live with........im not a huge fan of wakes or funerals but they are a fact of life and the best way to think of it is its your last goodbye to your uncle. Im sure your parents and other family members will need you to be strong for them. you can do it.....my prayers are with you and your family

OMG - I am soooo sorry! You & your family are in my prayers.
I do not deal with death well either, 3 months ago my grandmother died after suffering with alzheimers and cancer. It was a VERY emotional time to say the least but just take a breathe and relax. It helps when you have people with you who care about you and look out for you. My FH was with me the entire time and it definitely helped.

If you need anything .. Let me know....I am here...

-Kris

I' m really sorry for your loss!

I don't think anyone really knows how to handle going to a wake or a funeral...they are always hard...I was at my Grandmothers last month and when i first walked in the room I was extremely overwhelmed...but I try to look at it as a way to say goodbye...try to stay strong...even though its hard.

Oh man Im so sorry to hear about your loss
If you need anything please FM me

First of all my condolences to you and big hugs

Second...my friends father died in 98...since then we have unfortunately had a large number of wakes to go to. She would go to them all because she felt that everyone paid their respects to her father, it is only right if she then pays her respects to the others that have passed on, however since her fathers wakes, she doesn't handle death. She couldn't walk into a wake w/o everything rushing back over here. i know it's a lil different. But the way we got her to not have an anxiety attack and get sick, we started int he back of the room. She would just go in the door and did not have to walk up. After a while we went a lil further in until she was ready. If she never made it to the casket that was fine, because you can say your goodbyes at anytime and any place we believe. They are up there listening and they hear us and are watching over us!!! So after just taking each lil bit in at a time, she has now gotten to the point that she doesnt freak out everytime she has to go to one. At my cousin's wake I was shocked that she went right in, and went up there and didn't even need someone to hold her hand. Just remember it's a natural process. A weird one that we all must do. But he is in a better place, and this is in a sense something to celebrate. His life his happiness who he is, and the fact that his pain is over. Concentrate on those and keeep someone by your side!!!

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Posted by Chrissywish

First of all my condolences to you and big hugs

Second...my friends father died in 98...since then we have unfortunately had a large number of wakes to go to. She would go to them all because she felt that everyone paid their respects to her father, it is only right if she then pays her respects to the others that have passed on, however since her fathers wakes, she doesn't handle death. She couldn't walk into a wake w/o everything rushing back over here. i know it's a lil different. But the way we got her to not have an anxiety attack and get sick, we started int he back of the room. She would just go in the door and did not have to walk up. After a while we went a lil further in until she was ready. If she never made it to the casket that was fine, because you can say your goodbyes at anytime and any place we believe. They are up there listening and they hear us and are watching over us!!! So after just taking each lil bit in at a time, she has now gotten to the point that she doesnt freak out everytime she has to go to one. At my cousin's wake I was shocked that she went right in, and went up there and didn't even need someone to hold her hand. Just remember it's a natural process. A weird one that we all must do. But he is in a better place, and this is in a sense something to celebrate. His life his happiness who he is, and the fact that his pain is over. Concentrate on those and keeep someone by your side!!!

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I agree with Chrissy, I pay my respects but usually do not go up to the casket, I just do not want to remember someone that way.

You and your family are in my prayers

my condolenses to you and your family!!wakes can be sooo hard, i agree with the other ladies, it may be easier if youo just go but stay towards the back and not go up to the casket...and if it gets too much then step outside for some air...again, im sorry for your loss

I am sorry for your loss.

As for the wake. They are terrible, but they seem to be a necessary evil. You go for the respect in some cases, and in this case, this is your uncle, you have to go to be with your family. If you have an aunt and cousins, they need your support right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family.

I know how you feel regarding wakes. I had only been to one wake my whole life until FH's grandpa passed away last month.

It was hard and I felt sick the first day(and was there the whole week went to both wakes and the funeral), but then I took a deep breath and knew I had to be strong for FH and it got easier.

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers!

I am sorry for your loss. it's terrible when someone close to you passes away.

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Posted by Chrissywish

First of all my condolences to you and big hugs

Second...my friends father died in 98...since then we have unfortunately had a large number of wakes to go to. She would go to them all because she felt that everyone paid their respects to her father, it is only right if she then pays her respects to the others that have passed on, however since her fathers wakes, she doesn't handle death. She couldn't walk into a wake w/o everything rushing back over here. i know it's a lil different. But the way we got her to not have an anxiety attack and get sick, we started int he back of the room. She would just go in the door and did not have to walk up. After a while we went a lil further in until she was ready. If she never made it to the casket that was fine, because you can say your goodbyes at anytime and any place we believe. They are up there listening and they hear us and are watching over us!!! So after just taking each lil bit in at a time, she has now gotten to the point that she doesnt freak out everytime she has to go to one. At my cousin's wake I was shocked that she went right in, and went up there and didn't even need someone to hold her hand. Just remember it's a natural process. A weird one that we all must do. But he is in a better place, and this is in a sense something to celebrate. His life his happiness who he is, and the fact that his pain is over. Concentrate on those and keeep someone by your side!!!

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I agree with this method.

One step at a time. A wake is just a formal way to say goodbye. Everyone deals with grief in his/her own way. If going up to that casket is too much to bear then don't do it. Maybe try meditating on the good times you had with your uncle prior to going in. Look at some pictures, write in your journal, relax yourself as much as possible. Anxiety is a scary thing to have take over you. One step at a time.

I am sorry for your loss. Your uncle is in a much more peaceful place. Thank goodness that his suffering is over. Your family is in my thoughts.

I'm soooo sorry for your loss.
I really don't know how to tell you to be able to deal with the wake/funeral because its not easy at all. Just hang in there and if you need anything or need to talk you have all of us.

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking and praying for you

Here are some hugs & prayers....
There is no way to tell someone how to deal with there own loss...everyone is different and everyone handles things different...I recently had my grandmother pass away in June (I was a mess) so I am soo feeling for you! I am soooo sorry for your loss and you and your family will be in my thoughts & prayers...
If you need someone to talk to you can FM anytime!

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. My uncle died a few years ago from Cancer. And my grandfather passed away in March. I was a mess at both wakes. I was hysterical over the coffin when we first walked in. Some people just don't handle the wakes well. I'd just stay in the back of the room. Maybe greet people at the front door if you are that uncomfortable.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry