Need some advice...

Ok, my fmil is driving me nuts!!! After 10mths of her trying to tell us where to have the reception - my fi & I ended up booking what we want. So, when my fi tells her what we booked - she acts all excited for us, etc. Then, when we sit down with her to show her the menu, etc. She starts saying how we should be getting married on a Saturday, not a Sunday because it's 'nicer' and 'easier' for people and then the comments on the room started... because we were trying to explain how the room looks, but we had told her that it's hard to describe, but when you'll see it you'll understand (we're taking both moms next week). She was like is it square? because it should be a square room. UGH!!! I don't know what I'm going to do because I feel like it's always something with her - she comments on EVERYTHING! And when she goes to Jericho Terrace and sees that we got the Skylight room which is more rectangle than the dome room which is square - I just KNOW that she's gonna have something else to say.
Am I overreacting or would you be annoyed with this too? And my FI says how she's trying to be involved, but I feel like she just wants to criticize if everything is not done the way she would do it...
Sorry this is so long I just needed to vent!
Thanks in advance for any advice you could give me. I'm just afraid that this is just the beginning of crap from her since we've only booked the hall as of now...

Re: Need some advice...

That ****s!! But I will tell you the best solution I have for this sort of stuff - STOP TELLING ANYONE YOUR PLANS!!

From now on, just say things like 'its a surprise' and 'I don't want to spoil it'.

I know all of us want everyone we know to be as happy as we are about our plans - but if you know someone has something negative to say about everything, then stop consulting them. They will never change but you can stop her critism by not telling her anything.

Re: Need some advice...

Is your FMIL paying for the wedding? If she isn't and you are then its really all your decision about what you want. Your FMIL is probably just very excited about the wedding and doesn't even realize how she's acting. If you're paying for the wedding and she keeps commenting about all your decisions, don't share too much information. The more they know, the more they have to say.

Re: Need some advice...

It's kinda hard not to though because I know my FI (who means well) will tell her. UGH Men can be so stupid sometimes. I wrote in a post before how he wants me to take her with me to get a dress - but, I'm not doing it because I'm going with my mom (& it's going to be a mom/daughter thing) - fmil already did all that with her daughter, ya know? so WTF? SO, the other night when we're sitting with her - she starts asking me questions about the dress I want to get - right in front of my FI? Like how stupid!!!! I don't know - maybe I sound b*tchy - but this lady gets on my last nerve... And I just keep thinking how I have another year and half of probing from her
Last night, I even dreamt about the room we, booked and started thinking to myself when I woke up this morning if I made the wrong decision and should've booked the dome room. I'm sooo sorry for going on - you guys must think I'm nutz! lol I just feel like I'm going crazy.

Re: Need some advice...

BTW, my fi and I are paying for the wedding entirely on our own. That's why I think it's p*ssing me off even more.

Re: Need some advice...

You are a normal bride. I am always wondering whether we picked the right hall, I picked the right dress,etc.
The important thing is I know I picked the right man.

Re: Need some advice...

I totally agree with Stef! My FMIL is not critical, just a blabber mouth to the world on anything I tell her about the wedding. So besides the menu, reception location and some other minor stuff, I have taken the approach of saying, 'I want there to be some element of surprise for you...so you will just have to wait and see!' The best thing to do is not ask for opinions when deep down you really don't want to hear them!

Re: Need some advice...

Thanks for the advice girls... I'm gonna try to just keep putting her off when she asks questions. Now, I just need to figure out how to tell my fi to keep his mouth zipped. Any ideas? This is a sensitive subject for him.

Re: Need some advice...

I kind of had to deal with that also. FH family is extremely close and they talk all the time. So I just told him the same thing, that I think it would be great for his family to be surprised at some of our plans. They are traveling from IN to NY for the wedding, so I just said, it would make their trip even better if they came to the wedding and there were all these fun little things happening that they weren't expecting. Worked for me! Plus, my FH forgets stuff pertaining to the wedding and is not into the planning much...so luckily he isn't even aware of some of the little things I have been doing! I tell him and everything, and he tries to act like he cares, but I know it goes in one ear and out the other!! Hey, it keeps everyone happy!

Re: Need some advice...

ddunne23 - lol - that's so funny! I'll try that. With the real minor 'extra' things ... I don't think I'm even going to tell him about it (unless he asks) which he gets so preoccupied with other things that I don't even think he'll ask.

Re: Need some advice...

Remember it is YOUR (and FI) day. If you love the place then don't worry about anyone else. Maybe your FI can talk to her and tell her to back-off a little.

Re: Need some advice...

No matter whose paying for the wedding, its YOUR wedding! And I agree, keep plans to yourself. I know its exciting but if you know someone to be critical tell him/her as least as possible. Use this board to vent & dont stress over it. EVERYONE always has something to say. Have fun planning your wedding!

Re: Need some advice...

I agree with STEF too! tell your FI to keep his mouth shut as well and that should avoid must of the problems. I hate to say it but you just got a glimpse of what it's going to be like to be her daughter-in-law...good luck from where I'm sitting your going to need it.