Need some advice...

If you wanted to remove someone from the bridal party, but still have them participate in the wedding, what would you have them do (besides doing a reading).

Male or female?

Maybe hand out programs at the ceremony?

If it's male, maybe walk your mom down the aisle? Or any grandparents?

ETA: (found these doing a search on google)

Guest book attendant

Gift table attendant

Ask her to toast at the reception

Ask her to help with your hair/makeup/moral support (if you don't have someone already)

Help with the decorations

And whatever she does, maybe you could get her a small gift to show her you appreciate her being a part of your special day.

If your ceremony is in a church maybe she can be an usher.
I am also curious to know why you want to remove this person.

Yeah I know what you are thinking regarding the why....
let me see if I can explain this ...sorry for being so long.

Well you see FH and I met because of her and her husband. FH even had them attend the dinner where he proposed, kind of like a thank you.

But during the time that we dated, FH and I split for about 7 months. We both loved one another, but FH felt that he wasn't good enough for me and commitment phobia set in. I was devastated, and I tried to move on. So I began dating the rebound. Well, she didn't like him at all and it was very hard to be close to her because of it.

Eventually, FH and I got back together, and I got back into her graces again (at the time that is how I felt). But she is a very moody person. She is one of those people who needs attention always. And many times she acts like we were in high school. (which amazes me because she is in her 40's). She gets mad if I don't include her in everything that I do. I can't even go out to run errands or go to lunch without telling her. And she works with me, which even puts added pressure of always having to please her.

When I got engaged I was so excited that I just asked her, not really thinking how she has been hot and cold with me the past couple of years.

In one of those times, she wasn't talking to me, she accidentally sent an IM message to me, but it was meant for one of our other co-workers. She said that I had a bug up my a**. When I text her back and confronted her about it, she was like oh I meant another co-worker. I mean a true friend would be honest. Ever since that incident and all the other stuff that I have to deal with her, I spoke with FH and he was like honey if that is what is going on....then don't have her in your BP. He felt differently about her, but when I told him about all the stuff that had been going on, he was not happy.

And having her as a co-worker, just makes it more difficult. I just think I may just have to suck it up.....

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Posted by NYYankeeGirl72


And having her as a co-worker, just makes it more difficult. I just think I may just have to suck it up.....

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Due to your last statement, it may not be a good decision to demote her. Even after your wedding, you will still have her as a co-worker. It may not be worth it to have a difficult work situation everyday!

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Posted by TommysWife08

bring up the gifts, hand out programs, hand out whatever it is you are having your guests throw, bring a rose up to mary during the ceremony (if you are doing that)

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I was thinking of bringing up roses to Mary during the ceremony. So maybe I can manage something like that for her to do. We'll see how she behaves over the course of the next couple of months. I must just get fed up and just tell she is all out together. I really kick myself everyday for making the bad mistake of just jumping the gun on asking before really thinking it out.

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Posted by pa56

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Posted by NYYankeeGirl72


And having her as a co-worker, just makes it more difficult. I just think I may just have to suck it up.....

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Due to your last statement, it may not be a good decision to demote her. Even after your wedding, you will still have her as a co-worker. It may not be worth it to have a difficult work situation everyday!

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Yep, you are right.....

Are you simply replacing her as a BM with another person? I ask because you can say that there are not enough groomsmen and you want the numbers to be even on both sides. And then offer her the other role.

I feel like I am in the same boat because I got so excited when FH popped the question, that I asked a college roomate to be a BM. However, we have been friends on/off. I havent told her that she will not be a BM but I plan on using that excuse because it's true. MY FH doesnt have another 'true' friend he could use.

HTH

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Posted by MC127

Are you simply replacing her as a BM with another person? I ask because you can say that there are not enough groomsmen and you want the numbers to be even on both sides. And then offer her the other role.

I feel like I am in the same boat because I got so excited when FH popped the question, that I asked a college roomate to be a BM. However, we have been friends on/off. I havent told her that she will not be a BM but I plan on using that excuse because it's true. MY FH doesnt have another 'true' friend he could use.

HTH

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Right now FH is only having a BM and that is it. So right now I don't have even numbers. Hmm you gave me an idea of something I could use. Thanks!!

I would honestly feel hurt if I was demoted and if I were you I would just such it up and keep her.

However maybe just use the 'keeping it small' deal and keep it nice but saying please do a reading or mention her during the ceremony.