It's not worth it to complain, it's just what I have to deal with. Thanx for the advice guys.
MikesBride2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need some advice
I am in the same boat...FSIL is getting married 2 months before us and FMIL could really care less about our wedding. We took her to the venue and all she had to say was 'Well your wedding and FSIL's will be very different'...I showed her my dress and she said 'Oh, your train is shorter than FSIL's'....ugh.
Eventually I wrote her a letter airing all my concerns...saying that her reactions (mostly LACK of reaction) was upsetting to us both, and that we've tried to have her involved and she doesn't seem interested in the slightest or AT ALL excited that her only son is getting married.
I got back a long email of excuses...all it really was were the reasons she didn't care. Honestly if I had it to do over again I wouldn't have sent the email. I know it *****, and definitely FH is sad that his family is not at all excited for his wedding, but we just try to push through and talk to people who ARE excited for us, and talk to each other about how exciting it is for us that we are getting married.
I HTH...feel free to FM me if you want to talk about it more
mybabylovesmoi
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need some advice
Do you have any suspicions as to why that might be? Is he the youngest of the family, mama's boy etc?
Also, maybe it's simply because their wedding is sooner than yours (2011)? Maybe they are just naturally getting excited because it seems like it's quickly approaching. They may need more help planning asap and the FMIL may feel she has more time to focus on yours because of the later date.
Not saying it makes it feel better but sometimes it helps putting yourself in someone's situation.
My advice: don't speak badly of FMIL to FH, it won't help him feel any better and will make you look bad if it leaks out. No need for extra tension. Instead, ask FMIL for specific opinions like show her pictures of centerpieces you are deciding between and ask her which she likes better. Add that her input is very important to you guys - she'll be flattered and more apt to offer her opinion and help if she knows you guys want it.
HSsweethearts
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need some advice
Maybe their wedding is more immediate and once their wedding is over, she'll turn ehr attention to you? Or maybe she feels FBIL needs more help, wheras you and FH are more independent?
MikesBride2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need some advice
Posted by mybabylovesmoi
she'll be flattered and more apt to offer her opinion and help if she knows you guys want it.
I don't necessarily agree with this, if only because I did this with my FMIL and she showed no interest whatsoever...I believe when I asked for her to look at some things to get her opinion she said 'Sure, but not right now...I'm busy'
