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need some cheering

luvabul Posted:

need some cheering

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t getting married [not that I totally don’t love FH]. Hes great,and we’ve been together for a while. But just this whole marriage thing seems SO overwhelming. Ever since I got engaged, I feel like everyone stopped even asking me “real” questions like “How are you? How are you feeling?” Its STRAIGHT, heyyyy soOOo whens the wedding?? “Don’t forget to add me on the guest list” :chuckle:
“Have u picked out a dress yet?” “Whats the date?” I just feel like I get bombarded with questions and some from pure acquaintances people I don’t even know THAT well. Anyone else experience this?

Plus my FMIL as ive posted before is of NO HELP what so ever. I don’t know what her agenda is.

My mom is great-shes my best friend. But sometimes she forgets that its MY wedding, and not hers I mean she helps me out a lot. Especially like when I have final exam week and im getting my MASTERS she decides to make all these appointments for vendor that week without asking me my schedule … [I know shes just trying to help]

And im having 300 guests, I just feel like I didn’t realize how EXPENSIVE a wedding is. I don’t even know where to cut costs… Yes, my parents are paying for most of it- and theyre gladly doing it. But its like when im lying awake at night.. im like gee I wish I could just have a destination wedding like one of those celebrities were its just ME, HIM, and the priest …


I guess im just having a bad day
Pencils Posted:

Re: need some cheering

We all feel overwhelmed by it sometimes. Really. Being engaged is supposed to be the happiest time in your life, and it is, sometimes. But not always. There's so much pressure to plan the wedding, and all sorts of weird things come out when you realize some of your friends might be jealous, that your relatives have a weird stake in your wedding, stuff like that. Someone gave me a book that helped: Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the 'Happiest' Time of Her Life by Allison Moir-Smith.

http://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Engaged-Brides-Surviving-Happiest/dp/0452288037/ref=ed_oe_p/103-7061396-8065427

You might want to take a look. Made me realize that this stuff is all pretty common! Anyway, cheer up, this will all lead up to the happiest day of your life. Really.
PegaLega Posted:

Re: need some cheering

I know how you feel, whoever said wedding planning was an enjoyable experience lied. Dont get me wrong so far its been pretty good-but it seems like I cant make any decisions anymore...everything is second guessing.
WHen it is all said and done you will have a great day
happygirl07 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

Yes, you are probably having one of those days....we all have them throughout the entire process.

If you want a smaller wedding, I would speak to your parents and try and cut costs there. That's where it all begins....
ef922 Posted:

Re: need some cheering


Posted by PegaLega

I know how you feel, whoever said wedding planning was an enjoyable experience lied. Dont get me wrong so far its been pretty good-but it seems like I cant make any decisions anymore...everything is second guessing.
WHen it is all said and done you will have a great day



exactly!!!!! I keep saying I can't wait until wedding planning is over and FH gets sooo insulted. I told him to take that as a compliment because then we'll have more time for OURSELVES...it's different to fix a place up together or have a project that will last a lifetime..I feel like all this time spent, money wasted, for 5 hours...ugh...don't get me wrong- I wouldn't trade it for anything
So CHEER UP I know how you feel but we'll get through it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iamvocal72 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

The Conscious Bride

http://www.consciousweddings.com/
luvabul Posted:

Re: need some cheering

thanks!

staceylacey Posted:

Re: need some cheering

This is totally normal a couple months to go and I was flipping out. I know its a really rough time for brides. It like a full time job. Dont worry it will pass and it will be TOTALLY worth it when your big day comes, I actually miss the planning and the stress I know it sounds crazy. Hang in and let us know if we can do anything for you!!!!!
malagian Posted:

Re: need some cheering

It is overwelming but just think once its over it will be worth it! Thats how i look at it.

maybride75 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

aww dont worry dont get stressed i know its overwhelming and its tough at times but this should be a fun experience for you. we all are stressed but thanks to this site the girls have been sooo great with the support. maybe you can tell people nicely that you want this to be a fun experience and what they might like or think is right for your day just explain to them that you feel its your day and you dont vision things the way they do. but hang in there things will get better and when the day comes it will be all worth wild
winterwhite Posted:

Re: need some cheering

I know exactly how you feel.

try taking the bar exam and wedding planning all at the same time

My theory is to be strong and not humor anyone
like this-
-'Hows the wedding coming?'
-'great......I gratuate in may'

As long as you keep it in prespective you'll be fine.
I'll post you a very nice keep it in prespective story you can read. look fo rit soon

TLC1018 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

Awww...I am sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. I agree with you, it does get tough sometimes. Keep your head up, it will get better!!
blu6385 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

dont worry i feel the same way some times
luvabul Posted:

Re: need some cheering

haha thankss

Espo22 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

We all have those moments, you are not alone. I am also planning a big wedding about 350 guests, it gets so stressful...I also dont cut corners, dont know if its bc i dont know how to or i just dont want to sometimes lol. And yes, i'll have people asking me so did you do this yet, is this done and so on. For me it gets stressful when our families and other close people are on top of me like why haven't you done this yet? I am doing stuff and I am on top of things, but people want things done NOW!!!...It's normal, and we will all go through it constantly until the wedding, just remember the reason behind it, not just a big party, but we have found our true love to spend the rest of our lives with.

milana Posted:

Re: need some cheering

im definitly seeing the 'oh i didnt realize how expensive a wedding really is' now that im less than six months away from it! It kindve just hit me a few weeks ago that the costs definitly add up...FH also at first wanted to have a small intimate destination wedding in monte carlo but nooooo im the one who wanted a big wedding...well thats exactly what im going to get lol. Its very stressful at times but itll pass
luvabul Posted:

Re: need some cheering

just remember the reason behind it, not just a big party, but we have found our true love to spend the rest of our lives with.


yea thats the best advice! lol thanks
Espo22 Posted:

Re: need some cheering


Posted by luvabul

just remember the reason behind it, not just a big party, but we have found our true love to spend the rest of our lives with.


yea thats the best advice! lol thanks



you're welcome glad you liked that lol....and don't let everyone get to you, alot of them are just excited for you, sometimes we have to remind ourselves of that...Hope you'll cheer up soon, goodnight
sunflower13 Posted:

Re: need some cheering

Wow I felt similar when I first got engaged...I think it is something everyone goes through at one point or another. It is definelty an adjustment period for everyone including parents and siblings. My family and I have had our moments...but I think we are all adjusting pretty well. Most people ask me everytime they see me How's the planning going? or some wedding related question. I just remind myself that they are just making conversation and steer the conversation back to 'real life'. I did read that book Emotionally Engaged, a friend gave it to me, and it did help. It made me realize that just as with any stage in life we are constantly growing and evaluating ourselves and our role in relation to everyone else. My advice don't be so hard on yourself, let yourself feel your feelings whatever they may be,always talk to FH and friends and family about them. I have found that in bringing things up that worry me or that I am questioning actually have brought FI and I closer together. Good Luck and keep posting it helps to talk to all of us who know what you are going through..

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