Ok so this is NOT MIL related. I just need some advice. FH and I got engaged July 2nd,2011 and we want to get married 9/29/13. I booked my RH like the beginning of August 2011. People are saying that I rushed the whole thing and that maybe I should wait til 2014 to get married. They say this because FH and I are not living together yet. I lost my Full Time job a year ago and have been seeking employment ever since. I have been working Temp jobs in between to make ends meet. Apparently there are people saying that we should just go down to the court house get our papers and get an apartment that we shouldnt be worrying about a wedding that we cant afford. FMIL and my parents agreed to pay for their guests and yes of course FH and I are going to pay for the photographer/video,flowers,dress and limo. My FH has been working two jobs and saving money like crazy. Well his mother got in his ear and told him that we should get a place and forget about the wedding. I don't understand why I am going through this. I know that we are not RICH and I am sorry to be putting all my personal business out there but I don't have many people to talk to who would understand. I deserve a nice wedding and I deserve to be happy why can't people just be happy for us? I have been crying all day just cause people won't stop being so negative!
Eunified
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Don't listen to them! This is you and FH's day and if you and FH wanna have a wedding.. then you are having a wedding! In the end, it's about celebrating your love and I'm sure you can figure everything else out along the way!!! This is your wedding, not a sweet 16! Once in a lifetime and you deserve your dream! Stay saneeee!!
sweetj0112
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Thank you so much! It just tears me apart! I know we don't have a lot and I know we are not living together yet but I know we will be soon. I know I won't be unemployed forever and eventually things will look up I just can't believe that people would say this to me when I should be happy!
jassy119
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Aww I'm so sorry they have you feeling that way. I can only imagine how upsetting they are making you feel. I can understand their concern but instead of shooting down your whole ideas and being so negative they should be supportive.
I think you and your FH are giving yourselves plenty of time. Obviously, this is something that both you and FH have discussed and if you chose that date then I'm sure it worked for you. You can have a fabulous wedding and not have to spend a TON. Sure these weddings are expensive, even when your trying to keep it small but you deserve to have the wedding that you want! Don't let them ruin it for you. You can't make everyone happy. Just make yourselves happy!
Good luck with everything. Hope you feel better! Also, good luck with your job search. Hope something perm comes along for you asap!
Eunified
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Seriously.. some people are just negative! Instead of trying to help you figure out how you can have the best day ever, they're too busy bringing you down! Keep your head up and focus on the future! =)
sweetj0112
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Thank you guys for being so kind to me and not judging me! I really hate disclosing my business but I couldn't keep it bottled up anymore! If you guys have any ideas how I could keep the cost of my wedding down that would be super! Thanks again!
jassy119
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Re: Need to VENT!!
No problem! Thats what we're here for!
Ways to keep cost down..
Def keep your glist down to the least amount of guest as possible. You know those plate costs can really add up!
I'm not sure which day of the wk your wedding is but Fri/Sun weddings are a lot cheaper. I actually switched mines from a Sat to a Sun because we saved $30+ per person!
Don't know how creative you are but definitely try to do a lot of DIY things such as all your stationary/invites, centerpieces.
If you have friends that are good at hair/makeup get them to do it for you instead of paying $100s to do it some place else. My good friend who I normally go to for my hair will be doing my hair on my wedding day. I don't even thing she will be charging me at all!
I also suggest, even though we have plenty of time start looking into prices for things such as your photographer, videographer (if your having 1), DJ etc. Even if you don't plan on booking now you can get an idea of what you like and the prices that way you can make more of a realistic budget.
FH and I already booked our RH, and photo/video. That was the most important to us and also the most expensive so we wanted to know asap what we would be spending so we could budget accordingly.
Another way we plan to save it by possibly getting a friend of mines to DJ our wedding. He's done weddings before and DJ's in clubs and lounges and he is awesome! Only issue is he has no insurance but i'm going to try and convince him to get it! lol Also, the DJ at my step moms church is another option. Might sound boring when you think of a church DJ but he did her 50th bday party and he was really good, played great music and kept everyone dancing. So, if you or any of your family/friends know of local DJs definitely try to check them out. Just make sure they have insurance.
sweetj0112
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Thanks! Sounds great! We booked with JT and we will try and stick to their house vendors so they eat free! Another good way to keep the cost down! As far as centerpieces we want to do flowers and JT said they will take our centerpieces from our tables and use them in our ceremony! So that is another great way to save $$!!! I am gonna try and DIY other things like the invitations if possible. I am meeting with a woman from JT who will be our wedding coordinator. She is included in the package. I am hoping she can lead us in the right direction. Thank you for all of your great ideas and I will definitely put them to use. We haven't looked at photographers or DJ's yet we are waiting til the showcase at JT on the 20th of September and then we will consider making some appointments. I have received some gift certificates from certain places already for 200 or 300 off so that will be good.
jassy119
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Awesome! You def sound like your well on your way and have a great plan. Dont let anyone stress you and ruin it!
b2b2013
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Posted by jassy119
No problem! Thats what we're here for!
Ways to keep cost down..
Def keep your glist down to the least amount of guest as possible. You know those plate costs can really add up!
I'm not sure which day of the wk your wedding is but Fri/Sun weddings are a lot cheaper. I actually switched mines from a Sat to a Sun because we saved $30+ per person!
Don't know how creative you are but definitely try to do a lot of DIY things such as all your stationary/invites, centerpieces.
If you have friends that are good at hair/makeup get them to do it for you instead of paying $100s to do it some place else. My good friend who I normally go to for my hair will be doing my hair on my wedding day. I don't even thing she will be charging me at all!
I also suggest, even though we have plenty of time start looking into prices for things such as your photographer, videographer (if your having 1), DJ etc. Even if you don't plan on booking now you can get an idea of what you like and the prices that way you can make more of a realistic budget.
FH and I already booked our RH, and photo/video. That was the most important to us and also the most expensive so we wanted to know asap what we would be spending so we could budget accordingly.
Another way we plan to save it by possibly getting a friend of mines to DJ our wedding. He's done weddings before and DJ's in clubs and lounges and he is awesome! Only issue is he has no insurance but i'm going to try and convince him to get it! lol Also, the DJ at my step moms church is another option. Might sound boring when you think of a church DJ but he did her 50th bday party and he was really good, played great music and kept everyone dancing. So, if you or any of your family/friends know of local DJs definitely try to check them out. Just make sure they have insurance.
SOOOO many good ideas!!! One thing I've learned so far (and I've been engaged for about 7 months) is that you can only listen to yourself!! So many people told us that we're wasting so much money, we could buy a house instead, blah, blah- my answer is always the same that it's our day and we will spend what we want to!!
If this wedding is something you want, then do it! You and FH are obviously working hard to save, so do what you can. We really have so much time (even though it's going by quick!) and you will be fine
jassy119
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Re: Need to VENT!!
ITA! We've heard the whole its a down payment on a house bit to but like u said its our day, we'll spend what we want. Esp that we're paying for it ourselves! We're giving ourselves the wedding that we want but within our means.
After the wedding just like we saved for that we'll save for the house!
sweetj0112
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Re: Need to VENT!!
I just told FH that we have to stop worrying about the uncertain and be happy for the now. All the rest will come when we are ready to pick up where we left off. I am not rushing into booking a photographer or DJ until mid october. I am not going to worry about any of this wedding stuff for right now. Thank you guys so much for not judging me or anything because I divulged personal information on here! I know I will be employed soon and I know we will get our apartment by next summer! I am not worried we will figure all of this out!
b2b2013
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Posted by sweetj0112
I just told FH that we have to stop worrying about the uncertain and be happy for the now. All the rest will come when we are ready to pick up where we left off. I am not rushing into booking a photographer or DJ until mid october. I am not going to worry about any of this wedding stuff for right now. Thank you guys so much for not judging me or anything because I divulged personal information on here! I know I will be employed soon and I know we will get our apartment by next summer! I am not worried we will figure all of this out!
Good!! Just stay positive
LindsaylovesJustin
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Re: Need to VENT!!
crashing - I actually went through the same thing. We did a civil ceremony back in May of this year with about 10 people and a short white dress. That helped me take advantage of his benefits and give us the money we needed to move. We are now planning our big wedding for 4/14/12.
My personal opinion is that you deserve your dream wedding - so if you have waited this long - what is another year so you can have everything you want?!
PS: most RH's will let you push the date ahead so you don't lose your deposits :)
TJD
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Don't listen to them. have the wedding you want. work hard and enjoy the day. I too don't have a pot to piss in. but I don't want to look back in 20 years and say. I wish I had a big family wedding... So do what you want and have that wedding. ( yo can do a lot of diy stuff to safe money. and don't go to crazy on things) Enjoy!!
KristyANDMatt224
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Posted by TJD
Don't listen to them. have the wedding you want. work hard and enjoy the day. I too don't have a pot to piss in. but I don't want to look back in 20 years and say. I wish I had a big family wedding... So do what you want and have that wedding. ( yo can do a lot of diy stuff to safe money. and don't go to crazy on things) Enjoy!!
THIS! and what's awesome about having a 2013 wedding, esp later in the year, we are still getting 2012 prices right now, or early booking discounts. You have plenty of time to what what YOU want. This is you and FH day! No regrets!
FutureMrsRuiz416
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Re: Need to VENT!!
ITA!!! You have to do what you and FH want. People are aways going to be in your ear saying well u dont need this and it would be better if u had that, but in the end this day is about the 2 of u and no one else. Its ur special day and u should do what u want. The best advice I've gotten is to stay true to ur heart because ur wedding will be a day that u never forget and u dont want to look back on it and be upset because of all the drama people caused u!!! I keep hearing oh its too early to book this or that from family, but I'm gonna do whats best for FH and I.
sweetj0112
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Re: Need to VENT!!
Again thank you guys! Not as stressful now that I know people feel the same way I do! It has been a long road but I know we will get through this! As far as the others if they keep talking they won't be in wedding party I can assure them of that. I don't need people standing next to me at my wedding that don't support me.
csteen85
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Re: Need to VENT!!
someone gave me an engagement card that said, 'ignore advice. Love knows the way.' I thought that was so nice. do what makes you guys happy in the end.
