On Thanksgiving I broke up with my verbally abusive fiance...who also hit me a few times. I stayed with him for 2 months after i realized i had to get out, and i am happy that he is gone. Anyway, I saw him on Tuesday, and he told me he met an incredible girl, the total opposite of me, and they have been together for 2 weeks. He began to tell me how in love he is,and how he plans to get engaged to her within 2-3 months and married tops a year from now. I know he is not good for me, and i have been so happy without him since i am no longer living in fear, and i know he will more than likely go back to his old ways with her but it hurts. He began telling me how they go to the city and all these places i would beg him to take me to and he would say 'i hate the city.' or if we would go to dinner and i got a glass of wine he would call me terrible names, and torture me about it for days now he orders bottles with this girl. Basically he is treating this girl the way i begged him to be with me, and all he did was verbally abuse me. He tells me how his family will lover her, and how they hated me, and i know this is just more of his abuse, and i do wonder if he is lying about how he is treating and what he is doing with this girl but i am still letting it get to me so much! I know he is still trying to control and hurt me and i resent that i am letting it effect me. I called my friend and told her everything and she just kept asking why i was letting it all get to me. it hurts and i know it will hurt if he does marry her, and i hope for her sake he is good to her but it hurts. i am hating myself for letting this effect me. i know she exists, and i do doubt how he true everything he is saying but its eating me up. just need to vent.....
lipglossjunky73
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
He is an abusive person, and he knows exactly what to say and do to continue to hurt you.
Take away his power by cutting him off completely. do not speak with him. Do not take his phone calls. If you see him, say hello and keep walking. If this man thinks he 'got' you in any way, it will only serve to fuel his fire some more...
It will be hard, but just end it all - do not give him an inch anywhere. It sounds like this conversation went on for way too long - and he knows he got you upset.... I have been in a few abusive relationships myself, unfortunately - and learned a lot from them. The best thing to do for you (and the worst thing to do to him) is to take away his power by ignoring him. He doesn't exist.
chapel06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this! I have worked with woman that were subjected to domestic violence and there is this whole power and control dynamic. He could be telling the truth and that he is acting like an amazing man in the beginning and once he has her hooked he will start the abuse with her that he did with you. You are sooo much better off without him and u should be happy you got away and feel sorry for this woman that she may have to experience what you went through. I think its very unlikely he was abusive with you, but would continue to be a perfect gentleman with her. The way he treated you was not about you, it was about him.
AllJoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
As others mentioned. STAW AWAY. He is immature and needs help!! Trust me, its ok to be alone, (I've been there). You will someone who'll appreciate you and adore you. Good luck!
MrsBrags7706
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
It IS ok to be alone. I was alone for a while before I met my DH. And I was just fine! Then I met dh, fell in love, got engaged, got married. Everything happens for a reason!
lisalisa27
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
Posted by lttlbunny
On Thanksgiving I broke up with my verbally abusive fiance...who also hit me a few times. I stayed with him for 2 months after i realized i had to get out, and i am happy that he is gone. Anyway, I saw him on Tuesday, and he told me he met an incredible girl, the total opposite of me, and they have been together for 2 weeks. He began to tell me how in love he is,and how he plans to get engaged to her within 2-3 months and married tops a year from now. I know he is not good for me, and i have been so happy without him since i am no longer living in fear, and i know he will more than likely go back to his old ways with her but it hurts. He began telling me how they go to the city and all these places i would beg him to take me to and he would say 'i hate the city.' or if we would go to dinner and i got a glass of wine he would call me terrible names, and torture me about it for days now he orders bottles with this girl. Basically he is treating this girl the way i begged him to be with me, and all he did was verbally abuse me. He tells me how his family will lover her, and how they hated me, and i know this is just more of his abuse, and i do wonder if he is lying about how he is treating and what he is doing with this girl but i am still letting it get to me so much! I know he is still trying to control and hurt me and i resent that i am letting it effect me. I called my friend and told her everything and she just kept asking why i was letting it all get to me. it hurts and i know it will hurt if he does marry her, and i hope for her sake he is good to her but it hurts. i am hating myself for letting this effect me. i know she exists, and i do doubt how he true everything he is saying but its eating me up. just need to vent.....
Oh please he is lying to make you feel bad about something he did and he knows he was wrong. He knows he messed up. He is miserable right now please believe me when I tell you this. As for the girl if he really does have someone. She will be treated the same way in a couple of months. It is a pattern for them if he is an abuser. Dont worry God will send you a real man. Just stay strong.
SillyBeans
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need to vent about evil ex fiance!!
He is lying or grossly exagerating. you need to avoid him as much as you can. If you see him again, say hi and be on your way like you are in a rush to be somewhere. Don't even give him the time to get into a long story like that. You are done with him, show him that.
