need to vent about FH's family (the side that disappeared one he turned 16...) *long*

(im having the habit of putting up long posts lately, sry girls!!!)

OK so FH's parents are divorced, they had him very young and it just didnt work...he lived with his mom and his dad was a total dead beat, skipped out on thousands of dollars of payments to him (we are in MAJOR debt because of his 'father' not paying FH's school loans, FH is 26 now and still has almost 10,000 left on it...yea this is going to be interesting trying to save for a wedding...) and skipped out of the state not that long ago (and somehow managed to do it with a lean on his house...)
My vent is this::
When we got engaged we did the right thing and invited the dad's side of the family (minus the dad, bc if he steps foot in NY he will be arrested on the spot for skipping out on his legal requirements...), we invited almost all of them and have not heard anything from any of them..no one called to congratulate him or anything, NO ONE...they are acting like FH doesnt exist, which really bothers me. And now I find out from a friend of mine from CT that his cousin got engaged maybe two weeks ago at some sport event or something. Now I am happy that she got engaged, good for her, she can join the crazy addivtiveness of LIW..but it bugs me that no one even bothered to let my FH know...I told FH and he said whatever, he gets the hint they dont want him and oh well whatever(which made me want to cry when he said that...even though I know he has gotten over alot of the emotion of the family issue and doesnt really feel much about it anymore) but it just really BUGS me that they can toss him aside like that...

I know this is probably weird and I shouldnt really care and leave it to FH, whatever he wants and feels...just I feel like they have disowned him and I dont think that is fair...they are family and they dont even recognize he exists...i am more hurt over this bc i feel like they are telling him to go F himself...
I mean his younger half sister had a baby almost a year ago and he still hasnt seen his own nephew...

This is sad, im caring more than FH does right now...

Unfortunately i ahve some family members that are like this, truthfully if he doesnt care and is over it try not to let it get to you. DH was sooo worried that I was upset about those certain family members not coming that it started to upset me that it upset him (did that make sense?) so really if he isnt affected by it there is no sense in worrying or getting upset, it just means that they have let him down so many times before that its just another thing to add to the list.

Unfortunately these are the times you WANT you family to be involved but it doesnt always work that way. Your FH is very lucky to have someone like you that feels for him even when that emotion is dead inside for him.

FM if you need to talk or need anything, been there done that and completely understand the situation

I'm sorry for your situation. Hopefully things will work out for the best.

Sometimes you just have to let it go. My FH (and his family) don't really talk to his brother. I know that it hurt FH when it first happened as they were really close. FH's sister (who still talks to his bro) even told FH's bro that we got engaged and his response was 'Oh tell Jeff to call me.' Um, shouldn't he be the one calling FH to congratulate him?
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it's FH's issue, and he has dealt with it in his own way. And if your FH has dealt with his family in his own way, then I would leave it alone. No sense in dredging up his past and making him feel bad about it.

I am sorry you are going through this and I know sometimes you want people to be a part of your life and things just don't happen the way you plan them! Unfortunately I was/am in a similar situation my biological mother who lives 15 min away from me and wants nothing to do with me and her family only a couple of them attended the wedding ~ the same side of this family RSVP'd yes and the week before told me they could not make it #1 reason: could not find someone to watch there dog and the #2 reason I put in my time off over a year ago and they just told me i cant take off and have to come in. I am just grateful they called they could have been no shows.

Just remember always be blessed for who is in your life ~ he might not have that side of his family around or excited about his engagement but the ones that will be there for you guys will be there and be happy for you! Be blessed for that...