need to vent about seating and people driving me..

Hello all,
SO I had complained yesterday about people canceling after I did the seating plan.. Nothing compares to what I dealt w/ yesterday..
I have a LARGE bridal party SO we are having 2 tables of bridal party and there significant other.. Which is 14 and 14..
(SO fh's cousin(1 of my bm's) started dating someone a month ago and he is already a family friend and is coming to the wedding)
SO we get a call last night from fh's family asking why he is not sitting w/ the bridal party table..
#1 not a big fan of him
#2 it hasn't even been 2 months and its not serious
#3 the only dates at the table are wives, husbands or fiancee's..
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM???
They must have called w/ different ideas about 3 times.. Let it go.. Next the will be telling me he will be at my rehearsal dinner .. We are not paying for it SO it may happen but why??
Do you think I am wrong??

Yes I think you are wrong -- why would you break up two people who are dating? (Even if it is for a short time)

Keep them together if that is what they want. Are YOU sitting at this table because I don't think you are, and so your dislike of him isn't really an issue.

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Posted by hocus

Yes I think you are wrong -- why would you break up two people who are dating? (Even if it is for a short time)

Keep them together if that is what they want. Are YOU sitting at this table because I don't think you are, and so your dislike of him isn't really an issue.

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Sorry to hijack but I agree.

Sorry, but I think you are wrong. You don't want to be known as the bride who wouldn't let the boyfriend & girlfriend sit together. Plus, what if their relationship works out - you don't want to have to be concerened where they put you at their wedding!
In all seriousness, I know it's difficult to figure all this out, but I think the best rule of thumb is to keep couples together.

yes we are sitting at this table w/ the bridal party it is us in the middle and then 14 and 14..
They aren't asking about it or complaining about it her mom is....
i don't see what the big deal is.. who really sits anyway you know..
but i think about it..

well my room has a stage and we are all up there together.. so confused..
i didn't think it was a big deal but i guess maybe it is a lil.. there just not a real couple yet ..

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Posted by mable

well my room has a stage and we are all up there together.. so confused..
i didn't think it was a big deal but i guess maybe it is a lil.. there just not a real couple yet ..

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the room I am having the reception in also has a raised platform. I am putting the 2 parent tables up there with us, but that's it.

hmmm.. thanks ladies.. you have given me things to think about..

NO couple should be seated seperately...even if they are only together for 2 months
To be honest, If I was with someone for 2 months and attended a wedding where he was sitting at one table and I was at another..I would assume that person who did the seating arrangements was challenged in some way...

So you're worried that in a table of 30 people, there will be one person you don't like? I am sorry but you need to get over it. Out of respect for you bridal party I would keep them with their dates/husbands.

As for people sitting together, it most certainly does matter. Would YOU like to sit apart from you husband? Imagine if he was in a bridal party and you were excluded from the head table. How would you feel?

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Posted by mable

yes we are sitting at this table w/ the bridal party it is us in the middle and then 14 and 14..
They aren't asking about it or complaining about it her mom is....
i don't see what the big deal is.. who really sits anyway you know..
but i think about it..

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see but thats the difference..
we will be a married couple in the future.. this is not a real couple yet.. he has been a friend to the family since they were all little.. my fh is not really a fan of him either..
and why is it being brought up now.. and why haven't they brought it up themselves.. i do not need 3rd parties calling me.. and what if i do change everything around and it doesn't last..
sorry if i sounds nasty but this is really bothering me..
we also only sent out invites to those in serious relationships.. have the wedding is there w/ out dates, he was invited not as her guest..

Honestly this is my opinion it really isn't for anyone to say that they are a serious couple or not...they are a couple now when you get married. YOu are having a wedding to celebrate your marriage & you are paying money or someone is paying money & you want everyone to have a good time. You asked peopel to be in your wedding party for a reason & above all they should have the best time...because they are your family & friends & are going above & beyond for your special day. The day of you won't even notice you will have so many other things to enjoy. I am not even sitting my bridal party together because I think they should sit with their dates with people that they are friends with or related to.

Everything will work out...& I agree with you that seating is the hardest part but I agree with dleeny to have your parents sit with you on the stage.

First off -- you are making your floor plan a bit early. There are going to be a lot of changes between now and the 11th.

For this particular problem:
You can make 2 floor plans -- one where he is with his girlfriend at the head table, and one where he is with his family or who ever else you would normally put this guest. When the time comes you will know which one to use.

Also -- since this couple is NOT in touch with you directly you cannot know how serious it is. Since they have known each other for a long time (I assume, since he is close family friend) it might be quite serious. It is not all the different from you and your husband. Even new couples don't like to be separated.

You've gotten yourself overly worked up over what is a minor issue. I did the same thing right before my wedding. Let it go. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think.

Someone made a seating request -- a perfectly reasonable one, with plenty of time for you to make changes to your seating plan. 10 years from now you won't remember where this person sat. If you seat them together and they later break up you win because you were seen as gracious and accommodating. If you seat them together and they marry you still win.

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Posted by mable

see but thats the difference..
we will be a married couple in the future.. this is not a real couple yet.. he has been a friend to the family since they were all little.. my fh is not really a fan of him either..
and why is it being brought up now.. and why haven't they brought it up themselves.. i do not need 3rd parties calling me.. and what if i do change everything around and it doesn't last..
sorry if i sounds nasty but this is really bothering me..
we also only sent out invites to those in serious relationships.. have the wedding is there w/ out dates, he was invited not as her guest..

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ok thank you..
your right..
deeeeeeeepppp breath..

I am dreading doing my table's. It's such a pain in the booty.



I think the only reason you are reacting in such a stressful way is because you have all of these people involved and telling you what to do. It can put you on the defense. I hate that part of wedding planning.

I just got into an arguement with my dad because he wants to wear a comber-bun (don't know if I spelt that right) and I want him to wear a vest. I had to take a step back and think 'what the he!l am I doing? I'm Bridezilla!!!!'

Don't worry Bridezilla, we all go back to normal after the wedding.

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Posted by mable

well my room has a stage and we are all up there together.. so confused..
i didn't think it was a big deal but i guess maybe it is a lil.. there just not a real couple yet ..

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It doesn't matter if they are a 'real' couple or not, he is her guest and it is not unreasonable that they expect to be sitting together.