Need to vent...annoyed at BM

Ok...I rarely ever post, but I really need to vent this one. One of my BM called me the beginning of last week to tell me that she couldn't come to my bridal shower, which is a surprise. She didnt tell me the date, but just that she couldnt come. She then told me that she had a gift for me at her mom's house, and that she would let one of my other BM know to pick it up. I find out later on that she is not really cooperating with a plan my MOH had put in place for my shower, which also bothers me. The real reason why this all gets me annoyed is b/c another friend of ours is getting married next month (mine is in Feb.),she is also a BM in our other friend's wedding and refused to give in $ toward a shower gift from the bridal party, b/c she said she couldnt afford it. She gave her a cake plate instead. A cake plate that she told me she bought at an outlet store. At our friend's shower she was in a bad mood and seemed miserable...I really felt bad for my other friend, and she told me she actually is sorry she asked her to be a BM. Now, since I know all of this, and I considered her to be one of my best friends, my feelings are really hurt. I know that with gifts it is the thought that counts, but I really don't think she put much thought into our friend's shower gift. Because she always complains about money, I told her there would be no hard feelings if she wasn't in my wedding. I am sad to think that she really doesn't want to be involved and it hurts my feelings. Ok, I am finished venting now....sorry it is so long.

everyone seems to deal with weddings in different ways - i have a sister who has been pulling similar stuff with me - best advice i can give you (even though its hard to follow myself!) is not to let her get to you - she's obviosuly just not that happy with herself possibly and just displacing whatever 'bad' feelings onto her friends who are happy....good luck, i know its not easy - but luckily you have all of us to vent to!

one of my bridesmaids did not show up at my shower either. but, not only did she not call me before to tell me she was not coming but, she told my moh she would be away in france and was unable to make any other suggested dates. as luck would have it, another bm ran into her at the us open the night before my shower when she was supposed to be in france...go figure. she claimed her plans 'changed' but, she was still busy the next day and could not make my shower. she never sent a gift. never called after the fact to apologize for not attending and never called to ask how it went. i didnt hear from her at all regarding the shower. needless to say, this situation was just one of many.

she is no longer in my bridal party or invited to my wedding.

hope this helps

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and advice. I am the last person to expect everyone in my bridal party to stop their lives because of my wedding. After reading some of your situations, it really makes me wonder why people accept to be a very important part of your day when their hearts really aren't in it. Let's not let it get us down.

I am a part of a wedding actually 3 months before mine and the bride also happens to be a BM in mine.
It can be stressful on both ends for both brides and BM. Hopefully her spirits will lift for your event and all will be well.