Need your advice about FH's friends - LONG

FH has a group of friends that he hangs out with pretty much every Saturday night since high school. Ever since FH and I started dating, I knew that these guys and I would have to try and get along.

I made my efforts but really, we don't have a lot in common. I don't hang out with them on Saturday nights since that's guys' night. But now, since most of them have gotten girlfriends, the rules have changed and Saturday night is a general hang out night. I like my Saturday nights and continue to spend them at home, hanging with my mom.

Recently, I've noticed that FH and I are left out of more and more get-togethers. For example, tonight, there was a surprise birthday party for one of his friends' girlfriends and as usual, no one called to let us know. This has been the case for the last year or so and it's been a strain on my relationship with FH.

Sometimes, I get to the point where I cannot imagine how I will continue to share my life with FH...and these friends. I often feel like that all of this crappiness is an attempt to split us apart.

What's worse is that these people are going to be invited to my wedding!

So, my question is this: How do I make peace with this issue? I will probably never be friends with these people but am willing to be civil. However, if we keep being left out, I don't think that I could even be civil.

Thanks all!

That's hard. I'd say do it couple by couple. Start with the couple you are closest to and invite them over or out to dinner and build it from there. You may have more in common with these people now that they are attached.

It's always hard being the first of your friends to get married or the last ... in my case, I was the last. Many of my old high school friends got married years before I did. Few of them make an effort to try and get to know my husband so we are drifting ... I think they are so used to me being single that they can't adjust to the new situation ... or they are now at the baby stage and don't have time. His high school friends, however, are and pretty much always have been wonderful to me.

Sounds like you both need to find yourselves some new friends together also. It's not fair to him for to always be with your mom on Sat night, any more than it is fair for him to be with friends who don't acknowledge your place in his life.

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Posted by 2bewedin04
Sounds like you both need to find yourselves some new friends together also. It's not fair to him for to always be with your mom on Sat night, any more than it is fair for him to be with friends who don't acknowledge your place in his life.

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I responded in '05, but I wanted to agree with this last statement.