Need Your Advice-Phishing for Invite

I value your opinions gals . . .
We received a Engagement Congrats card in the mail from FSIL's SIL who lives in GA. FH doesn't care for these people (there's history there). They wrote some nice stuff and tucked a $20 bill in there (truly a lovely gesture - we bought Sushi!). Then they wrote 'I really hope we get to see you get married (FH) since we have known you from age 5! Please don't forget us when you send out your invitations!'

Now, we had NO intention of inviting these people - (a) we've had to cut the list to 100 because we don't have the $$ and (b) like I said, there's 'bad blood' there. FH is just nice to them to save face.

I was under the impression that phishing for a wedding invite was poor etiquette. When I send the thank you card for their gift, should I just say thanks for the gift and the kind words and leave it at that or should I specifically state that we're still working out the details but will keep them in mind.

I'm leaning towards just thanking them for the gift and ignoring their 'invite us!' comment.

Thanks ladies

Send a thank you saying...thats for your generous gift. We have been extremely busy with work as I'm sure you are too. Great to hear from you. Hope all is well with you all.

Don't mention anything about an invite...leave it cut and dry.

I would send a TY, make it a specially picked TY and write your norm 'Thank you for your VERy generous gift...blah balh Hopefully as the wedding gets closer our numbers will change, I apologize that at this time our list is too large for our wallets so can not add anymore guests! We will be sure to send you a picture'

OR you can jsut ignore it and if they ask later say that you are WAY over your limit and just cant afford to add more people...whichever you feel more comfortable with.

It is against good etiquette to ask for an invite but some people just dont care

wow.... that's pretty crazy! i can never imagine asking to get invited to a wedding- and especially these people! as you mentioned, there is bad blood, so why would they even want to come... and more so, to travel from GA?!?!

lets give them the benefit of the doubt for a second, and just assume that they want to patch things up. is it a whole family, or just 2 people? if its just 2 then maybe you could find room to invite them?

haha sorry i wasn't much of a help! gl!

it sounds like they may be trying to improve the relationship...at least that's how I as an outsider interpet it.

You may want to keep them on a B list and send them an invite after you receive a few 'no' responses

Thanks everyone! I knew I just wanted to 'ignore' the comment but I wanted to make sure I wasn't being a total c u next tuesday.

As for the hard feelings, they don't even realize it - they actually think everything's a-ok. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer. But they did something pretty terrible to my FSIL eons ago and like I said, her and FH are nice to save face because they are FBIL's family.

And yes, they would schlep all the way up here for our wedding. As FH puts it, they'd have an excuse to come up and visit FBIL.

I'm just gonna ignore the comment all together.

I had something very similar happen. FM me if you want the full story.

Dont feel pressured to invite them if you dont want to. If you think its in good faith, maybe consider them as a B list.

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Posted by bluegreen08

I had something very similar happen. FM me if you want the full story.

Dont feel pressured to invite them if you dont want to. If you think its in good faith, maybe consider them as a B list.

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Thanks! You have FM!

It's a weird situation that I can't really get into in a public forum but we weren't even considering them for the B list . . .

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Posted by PegaLega

I would send a TY, make it a specially picked TY and write your norm 'Thank you for your VERy generous gift...blah balh Hopefully as the wedding gets closer our numbers will change, I apologize that at this time our list is too large for our wallets so can not add anymore guests! We will be sure to send you a picture'

OR you can jsut ignore it and if they ask later say that you are WAY over your limit and just cant afford to add more people...whichever you feel more comfortable with.

It is against good etiquette to ask for an invite but some people just dont care

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I agree 100%

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Posted by Christine N Ralph

I would just write them a thank you and not mention about inviting them

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i agree