Need your advice, please...(LONG)

I can't believe I'm even writing this...but I really need to vent and need some advice.

My FH and I picked up our BestMan for a softball game one day, and my FH mentioned to him that we were having an 'after party' at my parents house after the EP. I asked my FH 'are we inviting everyone?' just cause I needed to know a count so my parents could order food. Well, the BM took it that I didn't want any of our friends there and told this to another GM. This GM went around to all my 'friends' and told them to not to go to the after party out of protest. (is it me or am i back in elementay school?)

So now, unbeknownst to me none of them were planning on coming to the after party. One of my girls (and this particular GM's girlfriend) told me of this protest at the beginning of the EP. My FH approached the BM and asked what happened, and explained why I asked who he was inviting. The BM said he misunderstood what I said, and that this GM had totally blown it out of proportion. I was assured that everything was fine, that he would straighten it out, but at the end of the party, I walked in on the 3 of them arguing. (FH, BM, and GM)

I went up to the GM and asked to speak with him to try to straighten out the situation. He proceeded to tell me off and told me that this isn't the first time he's heard things like that about me. That I tell my FH not to hang out with his friends (which is so not true) and ended his tirade by telling me to F*$k off. He stormed out of the place.

He called my FH the following Monday and apolgized to HIM - but refuses to apologize to me saying he did nothing wrong. My FH has a huge problem with him now, and says if things don't change soon, then he's out of the wedding. This is fine by me, but I don't need any further 'protests' going on that day. What should I do? I'm sick over this.

Wow--I feel so badly for you. You don't need this stress in your life..obviously.
If I were in this situation, I think my FH would kick this guy out of the wedding because like you said, you don't need to have any problems then. He should definitely apologise to you but he sounds so stubborn and he probably won't.
I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope things work out for the best. This guy doesn't sound like much of a friend to your FH.

First off, you did NOTHING wrong. This guy is looking for a fight, probably because he is either jealous or feels that he is losing your FH as a friend and blames you. Either way he is being a jerk. For one, if your parents want to throw a small afterparty for close family that is NONE of their business and he should have nothing to say about it. I mean, they are paying for it, not him. Obviously he cannot handle the fact that maybe your FH doesn't want to go out everynight anymore. I know my FH tells me all the time that he likes to be home with me not at some bar. If this guy wants to blame you then fine. I think your FH should tell him that he is OUT of your wedding party. No one who speaks to you should ever be in your wedding photos- family, friends, co-workers etc...He is just a jerk.
I feel bad that your FH will be losing a friend over this but this guy is more trouble than I am sure he is worth.
Again, you did nothing wrong. I am sorry he upset you during your e-party. Try not to let it ruin your memories of the party.

I agree -- he should be out of the wedding. Obviously this guy doesn't support his friend's choice of wife - so why would he want to take part in the ceremony. Also, if your hubby has to choose between you as his wife & his friends -- there should be no choice -- FAMILY FIRST -- and marriage means you're his family.

Is this GM married? Just break up with his girlfriend? In the closet with a secret crush on your FI? I mean - give me a break!

What a child!! Even not knowing more than what I read in your email -- the fact is that a man with a wife has less time to spend with his friends period -- if only for the fact that there's only 24-hours in a day. This guy sounds like a bitter baby and you don't need his bad vibes.

Having said that -- BIG PROBLEM -- if it sounds like you're the one that forced out the GM, you look like the bi*ch he accused you of being... Make sure your FI handles this the right way & makes it clear that it's his decision & he's not just some 'whipped' guy who makes decisions based on what his wife-to-be says...

Good luck!

So sorry to hear you are going through this!! These guys are acting like high schoolers and they need to grow up! I think if this guy told you to F-off and has no intention of apologizing, then he should not be in your wedding. You want people in your wedding that are and will be in the future friends to both you and your FH. This person is not being a friend.
Good luck with this...let us know what happens.

I agree with the other girls. If he dares says something to your FH about being ousted out of the wedding party your Fi should just say 'You told her to F-off! Why would she want you there??' He should also tell him the old 'How would you feel if I said that to your future wife?' If he doesn't appologize to you then forget him!
My FH is like yours he likes to stay home. He goes out MAYBE once a month with the boys. (mind you he tells them that I don't let him out (But they know better!!) It amazes me how being 'adult' get these guys slack. All I know is if my FH went out every night he wouldn't be my FH!

Thanks everyone. What you've all said pretty much echoes my feelings as well. I don't care if I ever see him again. I feel bad for my FH, though, I think he was hurt even more than I was.

This particular GM (the one who told me off) was dating one of my friends - they have since broken up - I think this was the breaking point for my friend.

The funny thing is, they all had the upwards of 3 WEEKS between my supposed comment and the EP to approach me or my FH with any 'problem' they may have had. But they chose this route. I can't deal with such immaturity anymore, at least I've grown up, if they haven't.