Need your help ladies - Long Story

So, I've been having a major issue with my mother. I don't think that she is 100% happy with me getting married (not b/c of FH, but b/c thats who she is) and has been a bit of a nightmare to deal with.

We have been fighting tooth and nail - like throw down, knock out, hang up the phone fights - for the past week now and my FH and her are not talking anymore and probably never will!!

My mother thinks that we do not respect her, b/c we have been trying to plan our wedding ourselves and have not run everything past her. I want her involved, but I don't want her running the show.

I'm the first in the family to get married, so this is new to us, but how much leverage do I give her? How can FH and I 'respect' her, when she is being difficult?? We asked her for her guest list two weeks ago and she has yet to provide it - while everyone else - my dad, FH's parents, have had their lists in for months and have save-the-dates sent out already.

We are fighting over everything - invitation wording, how the ceremony is run, etc. and this is getting to be a little much. It is really ruining my planning process and making this a nightmare for me and FH. Its definitely come between us, even though he says it hasn't -- there is a lot of tension.

I really just want this wedding to be over so that I can get back to my normal life!!!

Any advice??

I think its more then you think ... Maybe she is just upset tha your getting married because your growing up and your not her Little Girl anymore... DO you still live at home??

My Mother has Been REALLY REALLY Bad as well.. My Fh made a comment about I guess she is mine after the wedding and my Mother got Nasty and Said No She will always Be MINE ..

Fh & I looked at each other like wow LOL .. She just need to Adjust to me not being on my own and Not depending on her..

SO I think your mom just wants you to ask her advise so she can feel needed..

Dont worry it will all work out I just Ignor things

I can completely related!!!!!!!!!!!!! You sure your mom isn't' my mom!?!

I know its really hard to do, but what has worked for us, to try and keep peace at least until the wedding is over, is to just show her everything after you've decided on what your doing.. My mom has been a complete nightmare with everything, but stupidly I made her my moh when she was really sick over a year ago, well now she's better and she thinks she's running my wedding!! Even my bridal shower planning has been a nightmare, she's not even paying for it all and she's dictating to all my girls what must be done!! Its really hard, hang in there, I can't say it gets better, but you'll get through it.

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Posted by bellaro782

I think its more then you think ... Maybe she is just upset tha your getting married because your growing up and your not her Little Girl anymore... DO you still live at home??

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that's what i was thinking. that maybe she is having a hard time with the idea that you are grown up enough to get married and make your own decisions, and the only way she knows how to express herself is by driving you nuts. (my dad was the same way)

who is paying for the wedding? if you guys are paying for it--you have every right to make any and all decisions.....and perhaps that might be what hurts her--that you are independent enough that you don't feel like you need her approval and such. this is her issue though, not yours.

maybe you should consider sitting down with her and letting her know that you love her and she's your mom--but she's driving you nuts, and bring up the question 'are you having a hard time with the idea of letting me go? can we just talk about it rather than fight.'

so sorry you are dealing with this!

I am so sorry you are going thru this Just remember this is your day!!!! Let ppl have their opinions and do what you want!!!

{who is paying for the wedding? if you guys are paying for it--you have every right to make any and all decisions.....and perhaps that might be what hurts her--that you are independent enough that you don't feel like you need her approval and such. this is her issue though, not yours.

maybe you should consider sitting down with her and letting her know that you love her and she's your mom--but she's driving you nuts, and bring up the question 'are you having a hard time with the idea of letting me go? can we just talk about it rather than fight.' }


My dad and we are splitting the wedding more or less -- She is paying for her guests. I've tried sitting down with her but its seriously a fight every single time. I don't think she has an issue letting go - i've been on my own for about 7 years now. I think she just wants control.

Is there any way for us to respect her or at least show her more respect without compromising ourselves???