Need your opinion!!!!!

mac123 Posted: May 07, 2007 07:33 AM

Need your opinion!!!!!

Ok my father still has not given us any money for the wedding and everyone knows it ,I am not sure if he is going to at all , he said he was going to send me money every month i t has now been 8 months and I have not seen a dime of it yet but I have acepted that. However my future FIL last night gave me 1/2 the money for my wedding dress and I feel that I cant except it. I feel funny I know he probably feels bad and wants to help out but it just so personal . It is not like he gave it to me and my FH towards the wedding he personaly gave it to me and said this is to help you get the dress WHat should I do ?

Kimbalina Posted: May 07, 2007 07:55 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

Accept the money~
If your F-in-laws gave you money, they wanted to and had it to give. I think that they honestly were being genuine. I think that they understand that your dad has not given you money and they want to help.
I would also sit down and speak with you dad, find out where he stands, it will take stress off your shoulders, so that you know what to or NOT to expect and it take out the guessing game!

sassygirl9 Posted: May 07, 2007 08:27 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I think you should keep it. I know you must feel a little awkward, but he'd feel insulted. Remember that your his son's wife and it's his son's wedding too. he only wants the best for his son

dream426 Posted: May 07, 2007 08:47 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I agree with the girls. If he didn't want to he wouldn't have offered. I would feel that same way as you and not know what to do but being outside of the situation I think you should take it. He wants to help you.

mac123 Posted: May 07, 2007 09:02 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

Thanks Girls , I dont want to insult him by not taking it and I know he just wants to help I just feel weird !

Julybride08 Posted: May 07, 2007 09:04 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I wouls accept it! If he wants to help put and that is his way of helping I would take it!

cherish83 Posted: May 07, 2007 09:05 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I would feel a bit akward taking it to. But look at it this way, he's your family now and he is thinking of you as his daughter, and he wants to help you out as best he could. I would take it and thank him enormously! And when you find the dress, if you havent yet, show it to him right away to since he helped you out and share your excitement with him.

missigreg Posted: May 07, 2007 09:22 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

yes keep it. if they didnt want you to have it, they would not have offered it.

I understand how you feel about taking it tho, my FIL gave me $20 for something and i felt ehh....

but at the same time... they will eb your parents, so jump on board with all the benifits. lol

Autumn08 Posted: May 07, 2007 10:45 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

Posted by Kimbalina

Accept the money~
If your F-in-laws gave you money, they wanted to and had it to give. I think that they honestly were being genuine. I think that they understand that your dad has not given you money and they want to help.
I would also sit down and speak with you dad, find out where he stands, it will take stress off your shoulders, so that you know what to or NOT to expect and it take out the guessing game!

I agree.

I also think it will be a difficult topic to discuss with your dad but maybe he hasn't helped out because he can't. But since he has already offered I would mention that you are trying to set and stick to a budget and would appreciate if he would let you know his contributions. Be prepared that he may not be able to afford it. Unexpected things can happen.

TheFutureMrsM Posted: May 07, 2007 10:47 AM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I would accept it, that is wonderful they did that for you

SeaMaiden Posted: May 07, 2007 12:28 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

You should accept it, he wants you to have it and probably feels good about helping you out. Plus, i dont know how he is but some people get insulted when you dont take their offerings. its a nice gesture and very sweet that he wants to share a part of the wedding planning.

ourday08 Posted: May 07, 2007 01:51 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I think you should accept it......Also you and FH may have to try to look into paying for your wedding yourselves. I know it would be great if your father can help with the wedding but he may be unable to contribute. You guys have a little over a year to save so that may be something that you want to consider now while you have plenty of time. I wouldn't continue to wait for money from your father because he might just not have it right now. FH and I are paying for our wedding ourselves so we are trying to budget now so it will be stretched out over the year. Good luck!!!!

love2plan1 Posted: May 07, 2007 01:55 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

I too agree with the girls. They gave it to you because they want you to have it.

femmes Posted: May 07, 2007 02:41 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

dont feel bad. its a nice gesture!

mac123 Posted: May 07, 2007 03:58 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

Thanks For all your help Ladies !!!!!
I am going to except the money and just be thankful that I am marring into a wonderful family

ILOVEBRIAN2008 Posted: May 07, 2007 06:37 PM

Re: Need your opinion!!!!!

Im having the same sort of issues.. my parents arent helping at all..they originally said they would but they havent said a word since weve been engaged.. my moms the kinda person that if they did give us some money she would somehow use it against us in the future (ud have to know her to understand) so i almost dont know if id even want it to be honest.. but bc of that my future in laws kinda know about all this and are being soooo nice and helpful that i almost feel like they are trying to compensate for my parents not helping so i feel soo bad! by fh is like 'they want to do it and are so happy to help' so i have left it as that and just thank them constantly